At Last, My Love Has Come Along
by Pemonynen
Summary: Picks up where the Special finished.  Lots of happiness and smiling, and tea, and some downright silly antics.  Chapter 12: The Epilogue.  "For you are mine, at last."
1. Chapter 1

_Ok, so I __**MASSIVELY**__ cheated with this. What happened was that on Friday my DVD of the Christmas Special arrived (thank you hmv pre-order), but I was very good and wrapped it up and put it under the tree for today (present to myself). I wasn't going to watch it but then I've been ill all weekend, and spent a lot of today in bed…so I watched it earlier…like 10am-ish this morning. And then I started writing this just to carry it on because I honestly don't know if I can wait until series 3. So it was kind of pretty much essentially finished before it even aired on ITV! I also know that this is kind of maybe a wee bit similar to my other story 'Last dance, last chance' but never mind. No infringements etc. intended. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>At last, my love has come along.<strong>

"I think we should go inside," she murmured into his ear.

"Do we have to?" he whispered back, pulling her closer to him, enjoying the feel of the silk of her dress under his hands.

"Yes we do. It's snowing and I don't have a coat," she giggled as he kissed her neck and wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. She sighed and leaned into him, letting her fingers delve into his hair and stroke the nape of his neck. He pulled his face back up to hers and kissed her passionately. She shivered and playfully pushed him away, walking backwards into the house, unable to stop the huge smile that was plastered across her face. He smiled and followed, pulling her into his arms as he reached her. They kissed again.

"Thank you," he looked into her eyes before leaning to kiss her again. "I love you." She felt like she was actually melting.

"I love you too," they smiled and he led her to the settee, pulling her down next to him, and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against his and curled into his embrace, hands resting against his chest, both of them unable to stop smiling. They were just _so_ happy.

"You do know that my trousers are now rather damp?" he grinned at her, and was rewarded with a shy smile.

"You had to do it properly, or I wouldn't have said yes," she sat up properly and looked into his eyes, bringing her hands up to caress his face.

"I think you would have done, eventually," his blue eyes sparkled. "I'd have talked you round," he leaned in for another kiss, hands closing gently around her wrists.

"Maybe," she said against his lips before pulling away with a smile. "This is it now though Matthew. No changing our minds this time." He looked at her earnestly.

"Mary, I am not going to do that. I don't even want to let you out of my sight now." He kissed her cheek, her forehead, any part of her face he could make contact with until he found her lips again.

"I think that might prove difficult for some things," she gasped as his mouth met a rather sensitive spot just by her ear lobe.

"Such as?" his voice hummed against her skin, causing heat to travel through her and her eyes to flutter shut.

"Well we live in different houses for a start, so there are several hours we have to spend apart," she gasped again as his lips reached her collarbone.

"Do we though? I could just stay here…"

"And what exactly would be your intention, if you stayed?" He didn't reply, instead claiming her mouth again as his answer, and gently easing her backwards to a more reclined position, the weight of him pressing against her comfortably, his lips and hands travelling over her. "I see. Don't you think you might be getting ahead of yourself?" He groaned against her neck as she pushed him back and they sat up again. He took her hands, now needing to be touching her all the time.

"Not in the slightest. When can we get married?"

"As soon as possible," she leaned in to kiss him again, unable to stop herself. He pulled her to him with more urgency than he had before. The atmosphere shifted, and so did she, ending up on his lap, her dress hitched up around her thighs as she straddled him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, locking them together, as their mouths met again and again in a clash of teeth and tongues and heat and love and passion, the only sounds filling the air were the soft moans and sighs and they closed all the space between them and yet were still not close enough. His hands drifted from her waist to her shoulders, down her back, down to her bottom. They both gasped, but it was soon lost in another blazing kiss. He pulled her closer again, shifting his hips underneath her, causing them both to moan at the movement. She pulled her lips away from his and moved them to his ear.

"You can stay," she whispered, so quietly that it was barely audible, smiling and blushing as she looked back into his beautiful, love-filled eyes. She wanted to do more of this with her fiancé…the thought made her heart pound erratically and another blush creep up her porcelain skin.

"Are you sure? I wasn't being serious my darling." His heart was racing at the thought of what could happen if he did stay.

"Yes. I want you to." Every single thing she was feeling was written all over her face. She stood up, smoothed down her dress and held out her hand to him.

"In that case, you had best lead the way," he stood, taking her hand and another kiss, before she gently tugged him out of the room and towards the stairs.

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><p><em>At Last – Etta James<em>

_At last, my love has come along  
>My lonely days are over<br>And life is like a song_

_Best Downton episode. EVER._


	2. Chapter 2

_Only because so many people have alerted this. And my brain had already started planning it. I warn you now; it gets a bit silly towards the end!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Robert couldn't sleep. He lay looking at the canopy above the bed, his eyes already adjusted to the darkness of the room. He looked at the shape of Cora's sleeping form next to him and decided to go and get a book. He could read in his dressing room. With that decided he slid out of the bed as quietly as he could, pulled on his dressing gown and headed to the stairs. Something stopped him in his tracks halfway down. In the dim light he could see a couple just near the bottom of the stairs embracing in a most improper manner. He went down a few more steps before stopping and coughing loudly. They sprang apart and Robert gasped as he saw their faces, which quickly dropped to look at the floor as they realised who had caught them, that they had been caught.

"What is the meaning of this?" Although he suspected he might already have an idea. He spoke loudly, striding towards them. Robert wasn't a stupid man, and he hoped that he was right about the reason for their impropriety. He wanted to smile at the sheepish way they were looking between themselves and the floor, but decided to have some fun with them instead.

"Papa-" Mary looked up, unable to stop smiling even for a second.

"Do you really think this is appropriate behaviour Mary? Sneaking around in the dark with a man when you are currently unattached? When your engagement ended only yesterday?" He could see the blush that was colouring their cheeks, how they were still stood so close even though they had sprung apart.

"It's not Mary's fault-"

"And you, Matthew, you should know better! I want an explanation for this, and it had better be that you're engaged." He waited for his words to sink in and they both looked up at him in surprise to find him smiling warmly.

"You know?"

"Well, when I saw that it was the two of you I rather hoped that things would be settled. And I take it that you are engaged then?" The happy looks on their faces saying everything.

"Yes. I know I should have asked your permission first, but it wasn't entirely planned," Matthew grinned as he looked at Mary, who was thrilled at the implication that he had at least given it some thought.

"My very dear fellow, do you really think you need it after all this time? You're both old enough to make the decision for yourselves," he stepped forwards and lightly rested a hand to Mary's cheek. "As long as you are happy and you will make each other happy, that is all I need," he started to pull his hand away but Mary reached for it and closed her fingers around his, squeezing gently.

"I am Papa, and he will…he does," she looked at Matthew and nodded once, confirming her words to him.

"Well in that case, allow me to be the first to offer my congratulations," he shook Matthew's hand and kissed Mary on the cheek, before standing back and watching how Matthew's hand instantly went to his daughter's. "Now I am going to the library. I will be in there for fifteen minutes. When I come out to go back upstairs, I do not want to see either one of you. What I do want to see is fresh footprints in the snow leading away from the house," he looked at them both as they took in his meaning, having the good grace to look embarrassed under his gaze. "Matthew, I hope that you and your mother will join us for luncheon tomorrow. Good night," he smiled at them again before walking away.

They both giggled as they now headed towards the front door.

"I'm sorry darling," she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in for a kiss. He responded by pulling her closer, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. It was so easy to get lost in their bubble of love. Eventually, Matthew pulled away, but wished he hadn't when he saw the disappointment on her face.

"I have to go. I do not want to face the wrath of your father after such a perfect night," he held her gaze, and reached for her hands, gently rubbing the soft material of her gloves. "We have the rest of our lives Mary. I'll come back tomorrow, after breakfast," he leaned in and kissed her again, both sighing contentedly. He reluctantly broke away for the final time, and pulled on his coat as Mary opened the door, staring in wonder at the clear sky and fresh snow in front of her.

"Tomorrow," she said simply, not wanting to get too close now because she didn't think she would be able to let him go again.

"Tomorrow," he repeated it as a promise. "Good night Mary," he smiled and headed out into the cold night air, putting on his hat, his feet crunching on the ground. She watched him walk away until she could no longer see him.

"I did say fifteen minutes," Robert appeared at Mary's side, smiling knowingly. She flushed, realising that her father must have seen them embracing again, and that it must have been far longer than it actually felt, which was clearly not long enough for Mary. "But I suppose I have watched him leave. I'm very pleased for you, for both of you," he turned and looked at his daughter, taking in the broad smile, the pink cheeks and the bright eyes. How different she looked to the pale sad woman she had been only days earlier. He shut the door and slid the bolt across.

"He said he'll return after breakfast. We can tell Mama and Edith then, and everyone else at lunch," she smiled. "Although I suppose he might tell Isobel in the morning before he comes back…" she trailed off as Robert chuckled.

"Or, you can wait until lunch time, when your Grandmother will be here, and tell everyone then. I promise I won't say a word," he smiled and offered his arm to her, leading her back towards the stairs.

"Thank you Papa," she reached up to kiss his cheek, before turning and heading to her room without looking back. He watched her go, feeling a little sad that she wouldn't be his daughter for much longer. She would be Matthew's wife. He would be the most important man in her life. Robert smiled to himself; Matthew was already the most important man in her life.

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><p>Mary had barely finished her breakfast before Thomas announced Matthew's arrival. Robert told him to send him in, smiling as her face lit up at his appearance through the door. Edith looked between them, sensing there was something that she wasn't privy to.<p>

"Good morning Matthew, I hope you are well," Mary spoke first, keenly, trying not to smile.

"Yes thank you Mary," he stared at her for a moment before realising that he was still standing and had not yet acknowledged Edith and Robert. He turned to them, "I hope you are also both well this morning," his eyes didn't stray from Mary for long.

"Yes thank you Matthew. Would you care for something to eat or drink?"

"I had my breakfast with mother, but I'll have some coffee," he busied himself making the drink, feeling Mary's gaze burn into his back. He went to the table and sat next to her without thinking about it. They looked at each other and smiled, eyes lingering a bit too long on the other's face, forgetting everyone else in the room. Robert smiled and went back to his newspaper. Edith suddenly caught on.

"Are you…are you engaged?" Edith's words broke the spell and caused them to turn to her, smiling far too much for it to be untrue.

"Yes. But you must not tell Mama! Only you and Papa know!" Edith beamed at them. "We are telling everyone at lunch."

"And mother," Matthew shrugged a little bashfully at Mary. "She got it out of me before I'd even sat down at the breakfast table. I've told her not to say a word though." A cough from by the door startled them and they all twisted to see Carson standing there, a small smile on his face.

"You can be assured that I won't say a word my lady, Mr Crawley."

"Thank you Carson. Well, I think we can leave you two now to discuss wedding plans." They all stood and Edith hugged her sister and Matthew. "I'm going out for a walk, so the library will be free," Robert smiled at them.

They went into the empty room, and in a matter of seconds they had found each other's mouths, hands clutching desperately at each other as they became breathless and dizzy. They broke apart, breathing heavily and smiling, hands resting on each other's shoulders.

"I think Matthew that we should perhaps try to refrain from that sort of behaviour in broad daylight," her tone was reproving but her smile was pure mischief. He loved this ease with her, it was so comforting and familiar, but at the same time he never knew where the conversation would take them. The way he looked at her made her blush; there was just so much love in his eyes. They just could not stop staring at each other, as if they were amazed that this was real.

"And what do you suggest we do instead?" He reached for her waist and pinched lightly, causing a gasp and a giggle. He liked both sounds so much he did it again, leaning in to kiss her neck.

"I think that we should set a date for our wedding," she shivered as his lips grazed her ear. She pulled away from him.

"I don't want to wait long," he grinned.

"Yes and I wonder why that is," she arched an eyebrow as his eyes travelled over her before coming back to settle on hers, colouring as he realised she'd caught him. "Put it this way Matthew, the sooner we set a date, the sooner we can get married," she raised her eyebrows at him and giggled as he realised what she meant before he bent to kiss her again. Unknown to them, Violet was stood outside the room having heard the exchange. She smiled a smug smile and headed off to find her son.

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><p>"Mama it is a secret for now. They are going to announce it at lunch," Robert couldn't help but smile as his mother told him what she had heard. Well, obviously she had left details out. He didn't need to know everything she'd heard.<p>

"Well does anyone else know?"

"No, just the two of us."

"Well it's taken them long enough," Violet smiled.

"Quite." Unknown to them, Rosamund had heard every word as she approached the room.

"Is everything alright?" She asked as she walked in, noticing the shifty looks that passed between her mother and brother.

"Yes, of course. Robert, ring for some tea."

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><p>Edith was almost bubbling over with excitement at the news; goodness knows how Mary was feeling then! She paced her bedroom, feeling like she had to tell someone. Anyone. Just then Anna appeared.<p>

"I'm sorry my lady, I didn't realise you were in here."

"It's fine Anna. Actually, I was wondering if I could tell you something, but it's a secret. You must promise not to say a word."

"I promise my lady. Is it something serious?" Anna was suddenly anxious, but noticing Edith's smile, realised that it probably wasn't.

"No not at all. It's just that…it's Mary and Matthew, well they're getting married. They're going to announce it later. You can't say anything though. But I had to tell someone, it was about to burst out of me."

"I won't say anything my lady," the maid smiled at lady in front of her, pleased that she was happy for her sister, that finally they seemed to be getting along. Unknown to them, Mrs Hughes had heard the whole thing as she walked past the room.

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><p>By the time everyone was seated in the dining room for lunch, the only person who was unaware of the engagement was Cora. Everyone else was smiling, and looking at each other with a slightly smug knowing look as if they knew something that no-one else did. Mary and Matthew were oblivious, still having eyes only for each other. Robert coughed and the room went quiet. Matthew stood, pulling Mary up with him, and holding tightly on to her hand.<p>

"We have something we'd like to tell you all," he beamed at the room. "We're-"

"Getting married," Isobel interrupted, unable to contain herself. Their faces dropped as they looked round the room, only to find everyone beaming at them, as if it was the best news in the world, which of course it was.

"What?" Cora looked at Isobel in shock. "You knew? When did you find out?"

"Matthew told me this morning," she replied, oblivious to angry look on Cora's face. Matthew groaned and Mary squeezed his hand.

"I see. Did anyone else know before luncheon?" She looked round the room, her mouth open as people stated raising their hands in awkward embarrassment. "I see."

"Mama, we wanted to tell you all together. I don't know how everyone found out. It was supposed to be a secret," she fixed her stare, first on Edith and then on her father.

"Mary dear, before you get carried away in scolding people, perhaps you might take more care in closing doors next time you want to keep a secret." Violet looked at them with a smirk. Mary opened her mouth to reply, but then it dawned on her what her grandmother was likely to be referring to, and closed it again.

"I am sorry Mama. It was too late to tell you last night," she smiled at her mother, Matthew's hand reassuring her as she spoke.

Everyone watched the Countess with interest as she processed the information. Then, Cora rose; a smile spreading across her face. "You're getting married!" Mary nodded, smiling and moving to hug her mother. "Oh my darling," she kissed Mary and then Matthew on the cheek. "Carson I think this calls for some champagne."

"Very good my lady," and he left the room.

"A toast, to Matthew and Mary!" Everyone repeated the toast and raised their water glasses, smiling at the happy couple, who were back in their own little world of two.

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><p><em>I don't know where the silliness came from but there we have it. I might write another chapter, not decided yet. Thanks for reading though!<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_Sincerest apologies for the delay on this, but every time I sat down to write it, it wasn't happening (other stuff got written instead), but then a couple of days ago I had a flash on inspiration and so here it is, the long overdue third chapter. Hope you like it! And thank you for the reviews and alerts etc.!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Lunch passed without incident, and everyone was happy. Until they retired to the library for afternoon tea.

"No no no. Definitely not a March wedding. It will be far too cold."

"May?"

"You know the saying, 'marry in May, rue the day'."

"April then."

"Yes, a spring wedding. Lovely. April it is."

"No." Everyone had spent the last ten minutes looking between Violet, Cora and Isobel as they had argued about the date for the wedding. Everyone was now looking at Mary, who had spoken louder than she had intended to. "I'm not getting married in April. Definitely not," she glanced at Matthew before continuing. "We want a June wedding." Only Mary saw Matthew's eyebrows twitch in surprise.

"Well you should have said," Violet looked at her granddaughter carefully before turning back to the other two women, Mary's input about her own nuptials having come to an apparent end. She briefly shut her eyes and sighed, when she heard a voice in her ear and felt a hand close around her own.

"My dear, would you like to go for a walk?" She nodded and stood. "Excuse us," he spoke to the whole room, but received no response. They were all too engrossed in planning a wedding, except for Robert, who had buried himself behind his newspaper.

"I'll only be a minute," she smiled at him as they left the library, the occupants of which had now descended into practically shouting at each other about flowers.

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere," his eyes twinkled. She smiled at the literal meaning of his words, but knew that he had spoken them with a deeper meaning intended. She got ready for going out in the snow and slowly made her way back to the stairs, taking a moment to look down into the hall, and trying to shake off the memory of the last time she had done that. He was stood looking off into the distance, holding his hat behind his back. She smiled; filling with love and affection, as she indulgently looked over her fiancé without his knowledge. He really was so very handsome. Those eyes…and his smile…and his hair…and he was so tall… As if sensing her gaze, he looked up, his face lighting up at the sight of her. She hurried down to him and linked her arm with his as they headed outside.

They walked along in comfortable silence, lungs filling with fresh cold air, and enjoying the crunching of the snow underfoot, until Matthew spoke, unable to keep his thoughts to himself.

"My dear, although I certainly don't object to a wedding in June, why were you so against one in April?" She stopped and turned to look at him.

"Oh Matthew, I would have thought that was obvious," she arched an eyebrow at him, but he didn't take the hint. "Last April, you were engaged. Your wedding was days away. Then Lavinia…" she didn't need to finish the sentence, she couldn't. He frowned. "I know you said that she would want us to be happy, but isn't it in quite poor taste to mark the anniversary of her passing by getting married?" He thought carefully, and they resumed walking.

"I hadn't thought about it like that. I don't suppose our mothers have either. Why not May though? I heard Cousin Violet, but surely there's not a lot else the world can throw at us?"

"I suppose not, but I have told them June now, so the one thing I will probably be allowed to decide on is decided on," she sighed and he chuckled, turning to kiss her cheek.

"You must not let them take over, and I include my own mother in that. It is _our _day."

"Well in that case, I expect your full support on any decisions I am _allowed_ to make," she smiled at him.

"And you shall have it my darling," he turned again to kiss her, properly this time, arms wrapping round her waist. She pulled away breathless and smiling.

"I think we should perhaps continue with our walk, _away_ from the house," he turned and saw that they hadn't actually gone that far. She took his hand, "I know where we can go," he smiled and followed, and in that instant he knew that he would probably always be the one following her, not that he could mind too much; it seemed like a very small price to pay for spending the rest of his life with her. They arrived at a bench. Their bench. He wiped the snow off the seat as best he could, before sitting down and pulling her onto his lap, earning him another giggle. He thought it was the most wonderful sound he'd ever heard. Happiness suited her, and part of him ached at the realisation that in all the time he had known her, this was the happiest he had ever seen her, but that he was the cause of her joy quickly dissipated any sadness he felt.

In the space of a few hours, her guard had completely disappeared in Matthew's presence. She was smiling and giggling, and she knew that it had been a long time since she had felt so carefree. Giggling though, she chastised herself, she felt like she was turning into Sybil, but she couldn't help it. He made her so…ecstatic, and finally, _finally_, they were going to be together, as they should have always been. She moved off him and settled herself close at his side as one arm wrapped around her shoulders. The silence returned as they sat and looked at the view before them, a slow realisation dawning on them both that one day, hopefully far off in the future, it would be theirs.

"Matthew?"

"Hmm?"

"When did you decide to propose? What made you…decide?" Since she had woken up that morning, it had been playing on her mind, not in a bad way, she was just curious as to what had led to the events of the previous night. He turned to face her and was surprised that she was much closer than he had anticipated, her big brown eyes filling his vision. He smiled, his lip quirking slightly as he thought carefully about his reply. He knew she would have asked eventually. He lifted his free hand and rested it lightly against her cheek, wishing his gloves weren't in the way of being able to touch her soft skin. She was…exquisite, especially with the cold-induced pink hue on her cheeks.

"Last night. Well, no, before then. The other night, when I said you didn't have to marry anyone, I had meant it, at the time. And then when Carlisle left, I thought…I hoped there was still a chance. But you were set on going to America, and didn't know if you'd be coming back," she looked down, biting her lip, before looking back up. "And I knew then that I didn't want you to go, couldn't let you go without you knowing…my feelings," his eyes flickered to her lips before he leaned in and kissed her deeply, his hand moving down to her neck, while hers reached for the front of his coat, clutching at the lapels. They eventually broke apart and rested their foreheads against each other, eyes closed.

They stayed like that for a while, until Matthew felt able to speak again. "As for the proposal itself, well that just happened. If it hadn't have been last night, there's a good chance that it would have been today," he spoke softly and looked at her earnestly, losing himself in her eyes. "I love you Mary, and the thought of never seeing you again, of having to live a life without you even in it…" he was interrupted by her flinging her arms around his neck and burying her face against his shoulder, eyes squeezing shut, embracing him tightly. She didn't need to hear anymore. He was momentarily surprised, but then circled his arms around her waist, holding her as close as their clothes and seated position would allow. She said something, but it was muffled against his coat. "Mary, I can't hear you," he chuckled softly.

She sighed, and lifted her head, lips just brushing against his ear, "I said…I said I love you too," she dropped her head back down but he gently pushed her away, eyes searching hers, smiling fondly as an embarrassed flush coloured her face. "Well, I thought it was probably about time that I said it again, but that's your lot for this month," she spoke firmly, trying to regain some of her composure, but failing as she saw the adoration in his eyes, causing her to break out into another broad smile.

"I promise I won't make you say it often, because I know that you do, but it's nice to hear all the same." They stared intently at one another for what seemed like hours, before they both leaned in and their lips met with a new intensity than before. He let out a low groan as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. His reaction seemed to jolt her back to reality and where they were, and she pulled away, removing her arms and clasping her hands in her lap, the cold starting to seep through the leather of her gloves.

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about Matthew," she spoke quietly, and he edged closer to hear her. She looked solemn, and all of a sudden, he started to worry.

"Mary, what is it? You can tell me anything, you know that," he reached for one of her hands but she refused to give him one, instead twisting them together in her lap. His heart thudded and his head swam with uncertainty.

"Well…it's…last night…when we were going to…" Why was this so difficult? Last night, she had intended to take him to her bedroom and… And now she couldn't even talk about it. He smiled, sensing where she was going.

"Yes dear?" He said as innocently as he could muster, keeping his gaze fixed on the distance and the now soft orange glow of the low winter sun.

"Well, I think that we should…not attempt it again until…until we are married. It's not like we'll have the opportunity to…repeat it again anyway," she spoke the last bit quickly, and with a trace of haughtiness, trying to regain some sense of control over the spiralling thoughts and feelings within her. He glanced at her, trying to hide his smirk as he took in the still twisting hands, the deeper flush on her face and the gaze that was fixed on her skirt. He couldn't get over the fact that she was embarrassed; it happened so rarely that he thought he really should savour the moment.

"What exactly are you referring to? The proposal? Well I've done it once, I'm not doing it again, and it would be silly to repeat it after we're married. Or the dancing? I'm sure they'll be plenty of occasions for that before we're married, we don't need to wait." Her head snapped up and she tried to look serious until she saw his mischievous expression, eyebrows raised in amusement, and eyes twinkling.

"Matthew!" She batted her hand against his chest, before settling back against his side, letting her head lean on his shoulder.

"Last night was…very special, but I am well aware that we won't be able to repeat it, but it doesn't matter Mary. We shall have plenty of time for that when we're married." He kissed her head, reassuring her of his words. "I think now, however, we should go back inside. I'm starting to feel rather numb, particularly in my feet," she smiled at him and let him pull her up to stand, welcoming his arm around her shoulder again.

They walked back in silence, but Mary did not feel as comfortable as she had before. Thoughts were spinning round her head, and before she had given it any real consideration, the first thing that settled in her mind tumbled out of her mouth.

"When we were younger, Edith and I told Sybil that snow was made of diamonds," she smiled at the memory, not knowing why that in particular had needed to be voiced or why she had felt the sudden need to share it with Matthew. Because she wanted to. She answered her own question instantly with a small smile before continuing. "She got so excited she started carrying handfuls of it inside, but it melted everywhere and made a puddle in the library. Carson discovered her trying to mop it up with her coat. She thought he'd be terribly cross and she started crying. Me and Edith…well we were sent to bed without supper and told not tease Sybil again or we would be in serious trouble." Matthew laughed, and squeezed her affectionately, pleased that she had wanted to tell him this little snippet of her distant past.

"And how old was Sybil at the time?"

"Oh only about three or four. She was such a darling little thing," Mary's heart lurched at the thought of her younger sister, the most thought she had given her for several days, and she frowned. He noticed her silence, and guessed the reason behind it.

"You miss her," they stopped and he stood in front of her, moving his hands to rest on her neck. She gave a small nod.

"It's silly really. She writes and I'm sure she'll come over for the wedding, but…" tears quickly filled her eyes and she trailed off, blinking them back. "Ignore me Matthew, I've been feeling very emotional since last night."

"It's not silly, not in the slightest. You're allowed to miss her; in fact I actively encourage you to! And you're allowed to be happy, and show that happiness. You don't have to be so guarded, not with me. Not anymore," before she had chance to say anything, he bent his head and kissed her, feeling her hands move to hold his wrists as he stepped closer. He pulled away and looked into her eyes. "And whatever else, you've got me now. Forever," she nodded and then looked around. The light was fading quickly, the sky now a dusty blue-pink colour. It was later than she realised.

"We should go inside or they'll think we've got lost," she smiled at him and looped her arm through his.

"There was something I wanted to ask you, before we head back into the chaos."

"Oh?"

"On Wednesday afternoon, are you able to come into Ripon? I only work until noon then."

"Of course. Is there something in particular that you need me for?"

"Yes," he paused, grinning at her. "Now that we're engaged, I really should get you a ring. And I want to get you something that _you_ like, that _you_ want."

"I want the biggest possible rock in the jewellers then," she said breezily, while simultaneously squeezing his arm, reassuring him that she meant it in jest.

"No you don't," he said in mock-horror as they reached the front door.

"No, I don't," she agreed. "Not this time anyway. Maybe for my next engagement…" she beamed at him and hurried inside before he could respond. He caught up with her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace and kissing her cheek as she sighed with contentment against him.

"Mary? Is that you?" They pulled apart as Cora's voice travelled through to the hall, before she appeared herself. "Ah there you are; we were beginning to wonder! Matthew, I've invited you and Cousin Isobel for dinner tonight, is that alright? We still have so much to discuss! There's flowers, and clothes, oh and the food!" Before either could respond, she disappeared again, leaving them watching after her in amusement.

"I fear we are going to have to present a united front tonight," she reached for his hand and arched her eyebrows. "It'll be like the debate about the convalescent home all over again."

"I think I'd rather be back in the trenches! I'll see you this evening," he bent and kissed her cheek. "Good luck in there!" He smiled and nodded towards the library before turning and heading back out of the door, back towards his own home and some wedding-free peace and quiet before dinner.

* * *

><p><em>I have it in my head that it was April when Lavinia died. I re-watched the last episode of series 2 but there was nothing giving away the date, so please let me know if I'm wrong!<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_A much quicker update this time. Thank you as so much for reviews/alerts, they really are appreciated. Warning: this chapter (well, mainly the bit in the middle) is the product of a very silly mood, for which I make NO apologies. None whatsoever. So there._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

"A letter for you Lady Mary," Carson handed her the envelope, and she smiled as she recognised the handwriting. She read it quickly and then relayed its contents to her father and sister.

"It's from Sybil, she wants us to go and visit. They're moving to a larger house apparently, so there'll be room for us to stay," she passed the letter over to Edith.

"Who does she want to visit?" Robert looked up from his own post.

"Just me and Mary. She has suggested a week in February. We can go can't we?" Both women turned to their father expectantly.

"I don't see why not, but why don't you write and ask if Matthew would be able to accompany you?" Mary frowned. Her father meant as a chaperone, it was written all over his face. It wasn't that she wouldn't want Matthew there; in fact the thought of a week away from him was…unthinkable; it was more the way that it was suggested that irked her.

"I can ask, but it is up to Sybil, and even if she agrees, Matthew might not. He might not be able to take the time away from his work."

"But could we still go even if Matthew can't?" Robert looked between them. They looked so excited at the prospect of seeing their sister, how could he refuse? And they were still unaware of Sybil's news, so maybe that was her reason for asking them to visit.

"Yes," he sighed, acknowledging his defeat, but he was at least rewarded with two bright smiles. "Does Sybil know about the engagement?"

"Not yet. I can tell her while we're over there," she paused, choosing her next words carefully. "Papa, I was wondering if I might request the motor today?"

"Of course. Where are you going?"

"Matthew would like me to meet him in Ripon this afternoon," she said as nonchalantly as she could manage, while feeling the heat of a blush creeping up her neck. Edith and Robert both noticed the colour suddenly flooding her face as she looked down, concentrating on her breakfast. They waited for her to continue. "He wants to take me shopping. For a ring." She couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face but hoped that by taking a sip of her tea she could cover it a little.

"Will you need the car all afternoon?" Robert tried to sound stern and serious, but Mary's smile was infectious; he caught Edith's eye and she smiled at him, both still quite unable to completely comprehend the change in Mary in just a few days.

"No, just to the station and back later on. He's only working until midday," she added, somewhat unnecessarily, to the amusement of her family.

"And will he be joining us for dinner tonight?"

"If that's alright," she smiled at her father, knowing that he would never refuse. He nodded and returned her smile.

* * *

><p>She stepped off the train and looked up the platform. He was walking towards her through the steam, smiling broadly when he saw her. Their eyes met and she couldn't help but smile back, just as broadly. He reached her, tipped his hat and bent to kiss the cheek she offered, anything more being wholly inappropriate in full view of a station full of people.<p>

"Good afternoon my dear," he murmured in her ear, his hand resting lightly on her back. She leaned in towards him. Her heart started racing. Since their walk a few days ago, this was the first time that they had been alone, save for a few minutes saying goodbye after dinner each evening, which didn't really count as 'alone' with Isobel and Carson stood by the door waiting, pretending not to see them but giving each other a conspiratorial smile.

"Hello, have you been waiting long darling?" She quickly pressed her own lips to his cheek before pulling away and looking into his eyes.

"No, I'd only just got here myself as the train pulled in. Would you like to get something to eat before…first?" He was trying to rein in some of the enthusiasm he felt about what they were doing, but failing. He felt like he was bubbling with excitement and anticipation. Some food might settle his nerves. Unknown to him, Mary was feeling much the same. She'd never had a ring off Patrick, because it hadn't really been an official engagement, and the monstrosity that Richard had given her, well that was it…he had picked it, wanting the biggest, shiniest, most ostentatious thing he could afford. Oh how she had hated that ring. The fact that Matthew wanted her to have some say in this most important of purchases meant so much to her, even though she knew that she would be just as delighted if he had presented her with one that he had picked himself. Her stomach fluttered in excitement. She nodded, beaming at him and taking the arm that he offered.

"Be careful where you step, it's still a bit icy," he reached to steady her as she slipped and lost a little of her balance on a patch of ice.

"Well then I'm glad I've got you to keep me upright. But I warn you now, if I go down, I'm taking you with me to break my fall," she arched her eyebrows and smiled teasingly at him as they took careful steps across the frosted pavement.

"There's a tearoom just up the street there. I've been before, it's quite pleasant," he started to lead her up the road.

"Whatever you think dearest," she smiled, squeezing his arm, comforted by the warmth he radiated. He held open the door for her, and they were led to a table in the window, where Matthew ordered for them both. It was so normal, as if they did it all the time. They sat in comfortable silence, looking between the street outside and each other until their food arrived.

"I had a letter from Sybil this morning," she paused as the plates were set down, smiling at the young woman who had brought them, before turning back to Matthew, who was looking at her expectantly as she poured the tea.

"Oh?"

"She wants Edith and me to go over and visit next month," she took a sip of the sweet brown liquid and winced slightly as it caught the back of her throat.

"Are you going?"

"Yes we are. It'll only be for a week though," she smiled as she thought of the trip.

"A week? Will you be quite safe?" his smile faltered and he frowned.

"I should imagine so. They're moving into a bigger house so we'll be able to stay with them this time," she smiled at him, hoping he'd return it, but he didn't. Her turn to frown. "What is it?"

He looked at her, and saw the concern that was filling her eyes. How could he tell her that he didn't want her to go, to be apart from him, when she was so excited about seeing her sister?

"Is your father quite happy for just you and Edith to be going?" She smiled wryly at that, remembering Robert's request at breakfast.

"It's funny you should say that, but he asked me to write to Sybil and see if you would be able to accompany us," she noticed him stop chewing for a moment before he carried on, as if he was trying to feign disinterest. "Of course, it would be for Sybil to decide, but I said that you won't want to go, because it'll take you away from your work," she watched him process what she had just said, her eyes sparkling mischievously, as she took a bite of a sandwich.

"No, I don't see why I shouldn't be able to go, if Sybil permits me of course…" he spoke quickly until he noticed her expression. "You were teasing. You want me to go with you," he reached for her hand.

"Of course I do. A whole week without you to entertain me Matthew? Don't be absurd!" she grazed his palm with her fingernails, sending little jolts of need through him. His eyelids fluttered and he fought the urge to groan at her touch.

"Entertain you? Is that all I'm good for?" he mirrored her teasing tone and met her gaze, leaning towards her slightly, feeling dizzy and noticing that the air around them suddenly felt very heavy.

"Of course not Matthew. I've already praised your potential as a soft landing," her eyes flicked down to his mouth, lingering for just a bit too long, before dragging them back up to his, which were now almost navy.

"Potential? Would you care to try it out sometime and eliminate the element of surprise?" his voice was hoarser than he remembered it. Had her eyes always been so dark and deep? He swallowed thickly. His words alone were innocent enough, but the way he said them and the way he was looking at her were making her head spin. Her fingers stopped tracing his palm, and she was finding it much harder to breathe. As if by some invisible force, they inched towards each other, lips parting, completely forgetting where they were as desire coursed through them…

A loud crash startled them and they pulled back, cheeks flushing as reality came back into focus. Mary looked round; no-one seemed to have noticed them, the attention being on the tray of broken china and the girl who had dropped it. Their exchange must only have lasted seconds, but when their eyes were locked on each other's it felt like hours. Matthew coughed awkwardly and drank some of his tea in the hope regaining some sense of calm, or at least the outward appearance of it. He looked at Mary and was surprised to see her looking completely unruffled, her gaze fixed on something outside, as if she was deep in thought.

"Mary?" she blinked and turned back to him.

"Oh, sorry," she said it somewhat distractedly.

"Is something the matter?"

"What? No. I was just thinking."

"Anything in particular?" He frowned.

"Could I see your office?" Whatever he had been expecting her to say, it was not that. The shock must have been evident on his face as she quickly followed it with "of course, if you don't want me to see then I perfectly understand, but it's just…I've never been, and I thought that while we were here…" inwardly she cringed. It had been a stupid idea. She had been imagining how their afternoon would pan out to pass the time on the train. They'd meet and then they'd go and get a ring, and then he'd take her to his office where they'd maybe indulge in some of the rather wonderful kissing before heading back to Downton. Instead he was looking at her like she had suggested eating mud for dinner. She picked up her teacup and turned to look back out of the window, brow creased in frustration as chagrin washed over her. He realised that he had offended her with his silence.

"Mary," her head turned slightly but she was still not looking at him. "My darling," her eyes met his at that, unable to resist the sound of his smooth voice calling her _his_. "I'm sorry; I was just surprised by your request. If you want to see my office then we can go afterwards but I must tell you that it's not very exciting!" He smiled warmly at her, encouraging her to smile back, reassuring her that he had not meant to offend. "Why do you want to see it?"

She shook her head, colouring slightly. "You'll think… Never mind, it doesn't matter. Are you finished? We should go," she stood and moved towards the door, giving him little choice but to pay the bill and follow her. Once outside, she took his arm again, huddling close to him as the cold air whipped around them.

"Mary, please, why is it suddenly so important to see my place of work?" He spoke softly, not wanting to upset her again. She may have said it didn't matter, but her eyes, always those beautiful eyes, were telling him otherwise. She sighed, defeated. He wasn't going to give up.

"I've seen you at Crawley House, albeit briefly and you've spent so much time at Downton that it seems almost odd when you're not there, but I've never seen where you work, and I know how important your job is to you…" she bit her lip, she hadn't meant to tell him most of that. It had meant to be a simple request to see his office, out of curiosity. Her reasoning became clear to him even if it was still not completely clear in her own head. She wanted to see this part of his life, to be part of it. And he realised he wanted to let her.

"Oh Mary," he spoke so quietly it was almost a whisper. He lifted her hand and pressed his lips against it, squeezing affectionately. If he had needed proof of her feelings, this was it. In her own way, she was asking to be included in the thing she had mocked him for all those years ago. It was almost like she was apologising, he mused to himself with a smile. They turned the corner and his heart started thudding as he saw the jewellers ahead of them. He took a deep breath, several deep breaths, as he led her towards it.

He stopped just outside the door. "We're here," he smiled at her, hoping he didn't look too anxious. She looked up at the sign above the window, before looking back to him, a nervous smile fixed on both of their faces. "I asked around, and this is the best place," he wondered if he should mention his visit the previous day, but thought better of it as he pushed the door open.

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday<em>

"Where are we going? I thought we were going to get something to eat?"

"We are. There's just something I need to look at first. A present for…someone." They stopped in front of the shop and looked up at the sign.

"Oh Matthew, I'm terribly flattered, but that large pile of paperwork you gave me this morning was more than enough, you don't need to get me anything else," Matthew turned to his companion who was grinning and pretending to be embarrassed. Edward Wallace had only arrived at the firm where Matthew worked in October. His wife had wanted to move closer to her mother, who lived alone and had recently become ill. He was four years younger than Matthew, but they had both made it through the war, and had become quite good friends in the short time of knowing each other. Both men admired and respected each other, and at times, shared an almost silly outlook on some things. Matthew smiled at him and opened the door.

"Good afternoon gentlemen, is there anything that you are looking for in particular today?"

"An engagement ring," Matthew kept his gaze on the kind looking older man in front of them, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Edward's eyebrows twitch in surprise as he tried to suppress a smile. The man beamed and directed them to a large glass cabinet where Matthew leaned in to get a closer look.

"If you require any assistance, please do not hesitate to ask," he nodded at the two men and went back to his post, waiting for the inevitable.

"An engagement ring?" Edward watched his friend as he seemed to be studying every item very carefully. Matthew nodded once. "Blimey Crawley, you dark horse! Who is the lucky lady? Or shall I just assume that it's Lady Mary?" Matthew became even more determined not to look at the other man, who had spoken the second question in jest but who was suddenly very aware of Matthew's silence and the mirth that had flashed in his eyes. "Matthew?"

"No, it's Mary," he said, trying to keep an air of nonchalance about him.

"Isn't she already engaged?" His curiosity was piqued now.

"She was. It ended," Matthew refused to add anything else, but the other man could tell he was trying not to smile.

"When?"

"Friday."

"Oh. Any casualties?" Matthew definitely smiled at that.

"His jaw. My jaw. A vase. Some cushions," Matthew pointed to a ring, trying to change the subject. "What do you think of that one?"

"Nice," he answered without even looking, more interested in this revelation of a fight. "I didn't know you had it in you, old chap!" He slapped his hand on Matthew's back and smiled at him. Matthew blushed. The jeweller reappeared and pulled out the tray Matthew was still pointing at.

"So when are you proposing?"

"I've…already done it."

"What? When? And you didn't already have a ring?" Edward smiled incredulously at the blonde man in front of him, who was now holding a very pretty gold ring up to the light. It had a large square diamond set on the top, and three smaller diamonds on each side, and with intricate detailing around the stones.

"Saturday. Did I mention the Servant's ball to you, at Downton?" Matthew looked over and Edward nodded. "Well, it was then, after then. And the reason I didn't have a ring, apart from it being somewhat unplanned, is that…" he looked away embarrassed, "I want her to pick her own out."

"Can't you just give her one of the heirlooms?" That Matthew was to become an Earl and inherit a large estate was a great source of fun to the other man.

"No, this time… No, she deserves something all of her own."

"Matthew, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"If she's picking out her own ring, what are we doing here?" Edward's stomach rumbled as if to emphasise his point.

"Contingency plan. If she doesn't see anything, then at least _I've_ found something," he licked his lips and turned to face his friend, who was watching him in amusement. "Edward," he held out the ring to him. "I need you to propose to me with this."

"Excuse me?" at first he thought he'd misheard, but then he looked between Matthew and the jeweller, who was beaming and who did not look in the least bit surprised, as if this happened all the time when young men were in his shop buying engagement rings, which unknown to them, it did.

"You need to propose to me with it."

"Why exactly?" Matthew frowned, he couldn't explain it, didn't want to explain it.

"Just…please?"

"Fine," Edward took the ring with an exaggerated sigh. "Now how do you want me to do this? Pretend that you're Lady Mary?" He grinned childishly. If Matthew was going to make him do this, then there was no way he was going to be sensible about it.

"Just…do it," he replied, desperately trying to ignore the ridiculous situation they were suddenly in.

"Fine. Will you marry me?" He held out the ring to Matthew, whose face spilt into an impossibly large smile. "If that's the ring, I hope she shares your taste!" He handed it back to Matthew who turned back to the jeweller.

"Is it possible to save this ring until tomorrow? I'm returning with my fiancée then."

"Of course sir." The older man nodded and asked for Matthew's name, quickly writing it on the small tag attached to the ring before replacing the trays. Edward and Matthew left and headed towards the bakery, their original destination.

Once settled back in the office with their food, and after Edward had calmed down after the events in the jewellers, Matthew thought it was time to get another man's opinion.

"How did you propose to Catherine?"

"I didn't. We were out walking one day and she just turned to me and said 'how about it then?' and I asked her what she meant and she said 'you know, getting married?' and I said 'oh, alright then. Don't see why not'." Matthew looked at the dark-haired man opposite in disbelief, his mouth hanging open.

"Really?"

Edward burst out laughing, "no of course not. I got her father's permission, and a few days later I took her out for a picnic at the seaside. With champagne and strawberries. And I had a long romantic speech prepared and everything. There may even have been a sonnet or two. Women love romance Crawley. And the ones who say they're not romantic, well they're lying and _they_ are the ones that need the biggest gestures." There was silence for a minute while they ate before he spoke again, "so how did you do it?"

"On one knee in the snow, after a relatively small speech asking her not to leave for America, amongst other things," Matthew smiled and shrugged. Edward sat back in his chair and thought for a moment.

"Good man. Even without a ring, you'll be rewarded for that for years!" He grinned and raised his eyebrows, making it clear exactly what sort of 'rewards' he meant. Matthew blushed and smiled, dropping his gaze to his food.

* * *

><p>"Good afternoon sir, madam. Can I be of any assistance?" the older man smiled at Matthew in recognition, and a little in mischief. Matthew's heart thudded as he repeated his request from the previous day. "Hello, we are looking for an engagement ring. Perhaps you have a selection that we could look at?"<p>

"But of course. If you would care to take a seat…?" He looked expectantly at the couple.

"Forgive me, this is Lady Mary Crawley, my fiancée," Matthew couldn't stop himself smiling at the last word.

"Lady Mary," he smiled at her as he led her to the chair next to the window. The jeweller went to collect the trays of rings, and Mary used the moment to remove her gloves and to look at Matthew, who was hovering nervously near the counter.

"Are you alright? You seem a little…tense." His head snapped up and he saw the concern in her eyes. He smiled, but it was forced.

"I'm fine." He wasn't fine. He was a mess. There were so many things that could go wrong. She might not like anything. She might like the most expensive ring in the shop, not that cost was really an issue but he certainly wasn't as wealthy as Carlisle. She might not like the ring he'd picked. She might not like any ring at all in any shop and they'd have to have an engagement without one. She might not even want a wedding ring… He reached for his collar and tugged ever so slightly at his tie. She frowned, her eyes following his every movement.

The sudden appearance of a tray of jewels distracted her and he sighed in relief. She looked at each one carefully, picking some up and holding them up to the light, casting a critical eye over them. Matthew felt like his heart had stopped but she seemed to be ignoring the tags hanging off them, looking mainly at the band and the settings. Some of them were pretty enough. Some were not. Some were downright ugly and reminded her too much of Richard's ring. Then one in particular caught her eye. It was modern, elegant, and understated. In short, it was beautiful. She smiled, feeling quite dizzy but she wasn't sure why.

"Matthew, I've found one that I like," she suddenly felt shy. He moved to her side and looked at the one she was pointing at, his heart skipping a beat as he recognised it. He smiled and nodded at the waiting jeweller, who moved the tray, removed the ring and pulled the tag off before handing it back to Matthew with a knowing smile. He knelt down in front of her, meeting her gaze.

"Matthew, you don't have to…not again…"

"You wanted me to do things properly, so I am," he gently teased, smiling as he took her hand. "Mary, will you marry me?"

"Do you really need an answer?" He nodded.

"Of course…yes!" She grinned as he slid the ring onto her finger and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her hand. They stood up and Matthew went to pay, feeling much lighter than he had when they'd entered.

"Congratulations sir," the jeweller nodded towards Mary, who was gazing at the ring on her finger in something akin to awe as she reluctantly replaced her gloves. "Will you tell her?"

"One day, maybe. Thank you," he smiled warmly at the man before taking Mary's hand and leading her back outside.

"It's beautiful Matthew," she went to look at her hand and felt disappointed when she saw her gloves covering it.

"You picked it darling," he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, the temperature having dropped considerably since they'd been in the jewellers. The walk to his office only took a few minutes and he was relieved to find that everyone else had already left. He unlocked the front door, let them in and locked it behind them.

"Well, I wouldn't want people to think we're open," he answered her quizzical expression. "My office is that one there," he pointed to a door before walking ahead of her and opening it. She removed her gloves and hat and started moving round the room. He held his breath as she looked around curiously, moving to the bookcase and glancing at the titles before moving to the window. He realised why he was nervous. He liked his office, it was _his_ place. It was a very pleasant room and he had everything exactly how he liked it, but it suddenly mattered that she might not feel the same.

She turned to smile at him but found him looking rather worried by the still open door. "Matthew, are you quite well? You really don't seem yourself today." She put her gloves in her hat, laid them on the desk, and walked over to him, hand reaching up to stroke his cheek.

"I'm fine. Your opinion just matters a great deal to me and…" he trailed off, not knowing what else to say, as he leaned into her caress. As his eyes flickered around the room, she understood.

"I like it Matthew. Though it shouldn't matter if I do or not, you're the one that works here and if you like it then that should be enough," she searched his eyes, trying to reassure him. He nodded once and she leaned up to kiss him, hands sliding to his shoulders, pulling him towards her. He responded by gripping her waist and holding her tightly to him. He moved his head and she moaned softly as the kiss deepened and their tongues met. Her hands moved down and started to unbutton his coat, sliding her hands inside once she had completed her task. Matthew pulled away suddenly and shut the door behind him before removing his own gloves and hat, and shrugging off his coat, hanging it on the back of the door. He smiled at her as she started to unfasten her coat, throwing it over the nearest chair when she was done. She stepped towards him and he took her hand, kissing it and admiring the new decoration on it.

"It's very beautiful," she followed his gaze. "You have excellent taste my dear," he looked into her eyes, unconsciously rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Yes. Although I suspect that you do as well," she smiled serenely. He swallowed. She couldn't know, could she?

"Wh…what do you mean?" She took in his slightly panicked look and arched her eyebrows with a curious smile.

"Only that I would have been just as happy with something that you picked out," she smiled shyly at him. "Because it would be from you, and what it-" he silenced her with a kiss, unable to stop himself. She responded keenly, wrapping her arms around his neck as his circled her waist. Mary was the one to pull away this time, her eyes shining and dark, and her cheeks and lips a deep pink. "I hope you won't keep interrupting me Mr Crawley, you might miss something important!"

"Oh I think I could catch up if I needed to!" He smiled and she leaned into his embrace with a happy sigh, both of them content to just be in the other's arms. She pulled her hands from his neck and rested them on his cheeks, fingers gently stroking across his face and along his hairline. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of her fingertips and then her lips lightly dancing across his skin. His hands stroked up and down her back, and their mouths met again, but there was no urgency in their movements this time; they were happy just to _be_.

Eventually, and somewhat reluctantly, Matthew pulled away, an almost-forgotten ache throbbing in his lower back. He stretched and checked the time.

"We should probably think about going to get the train soon," he tried to smile but winced instead. It really was very cold without the fire lit and they had been stood for a while. He walked around and stretched again, easing the pain, before deciding that they definitely needed to go. As Mary was fastening her coat, her eyes drifted to the desk.

"Is it quite sturdy? The desk?" She broke the silence, a thought having occurred to her.

"I imagine so," he watched her replace her hat with interest. She seemed distracted by something. "It is certainly sufficient for its purpose." He put on his own outdoor things and moved to collect his briefcase from where he had left it earlier, keeping his eyes on her.

"Yes, of course it is," she flashed him a smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

They left and she didn't say anything else on the subject. He glanced at her, genuinely confused by the interest in his office furniture. They reached the station and found seats on the train, but still she said nothing. She spent the whole journey leaning against him but looking out of the window. They were nearly back in Downton before she spoke again, in a low whisper in his ear, her warm breath on his neck, her hand suddenly resting on his thigh, applying a little pressure. He swallowed thickly.

"I've been thinking Matthew, perhaps one day we could see how sufficient your desk is for _unintended_ purposes," her lips brushed his ear, causing all sorts of images to flash through his mind and his eyes to flutter shut. Desire flared through him and… "Oh we've arrived. I do hope Pratt is waiting for us." She stood and made to leave, a mischievous smile playing across her face.

This was going to be a very long engagement, Matthew thought as he sighed and forced himself to stand and exit the train after her.

* * *

><p><em>Yes, I did pay tribute to an episode of Friends there (10 points if you can work out which bit in the chapter and the episode). No, I don't really mind if it's not historically accurate. Yes, I do want the silliness to continue. <em>

_Next chapter: BOAT TRIP!_


	5. Chapter 5

_It's been a while again, for which I sincerely apologise. Thank you though, to everyone who has been reading, reviewing, alerting, and adding to favourites…I really do appreciate it!  
>AN - It takes about 3 hours to travel from Holyhead to Dublin so that's what I've stuck with.  
>Also, after the last chapter a couple of people suggested a whole chapter about the desk and their erm…antics; in response to that I have started a one-shot involving said furniture, and I will get round to writing it properly soon!<em>

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

"Mama we will let you know when we have arrived. We will be perfectly alright so please stop fussing!" Mary smiled affectionately at Cora, who was giving her and Edith a list of instructions for their trip. "And besides, Matthew will be with us, and he's hardly going to let anything happen to his fiancée is he?" She turned her head and smiled at him, waiting just behind her, before kissing both of her parents on the cheek and stepping aside to let Edith do the same.

"Well, have a safe crossing, and give our love to Sybil. Stick together, and with Matthew. And don't let either of them lead you astray," Robert spoke sternly, still not entirely happy about the trip, but taking some comfort in the fact that Matthew was going with them. "Make sure you look after them."

"Of course," Matthew smiled at the older man before reaching out to shake his hand.

They finally made it out to the waiting car and told the chauffeur to leave before Cora could think of any more reasons to delay them. Edith watched as Matthew's hand automatically took her sister's as they settled in the car, fingers lacing together with a smile. She also saw how Mary rested her head against his shoulder, and feeling a pang of…something, and tears prickle in her eyes, she turned her head to look out of the window, away from them. It wasn't that she was envious, well she was, but not in a spiteful way like she once might have been, and she certainly didn't resent them their happiness, especially after everything they had been through. It just seemed like she would never find love, at least not in the way that Sybil and Mary had; that all-powerful, all-consuming, would-do-anything-for passion. After her visit to Sir Anthony Strallan on New Year's Day, she had resigned herself to the fact that the most she could probably hope for in a marriage, if she ever even got married, was probably a lukewarm affection…if that.

The sounds of whispering and soft giggling brought her out of her reverie, and she wished that she had sat in the front with the chauffeur. What else could they possibly have to talk about? She frowned, guilty for her disgruntled thoughts. She was tired, that was all. As if to reinforce the point, she suddenly yawned and felt her eyelids start to droop, distracting her from her train of thought, as she felt herself drift towards sleep…

"Edith, we're here," Mary shook her gently, and her eyes shot open. They exited the car while the chauffeur found them a porter for their luggage.

Mary cast a wary eye at the grey sky above them as they boarded the boat, "do you think the weather will change as we're crossing?"

"No, I shouldn't have thought so," Matthew smiled reassuringly and was slightly alarmed when Mary's expression didn't change, but decided not to press the matter. They boarded and Mary immediately headed for the dining room. Matthew watched his fiancée as she looked around before seating herself on a settee towards the centre of the room. Edith followed with a small smile.

"There's no need to look so worried darling. I suffer from a little sea sickness. It's nothing," she smiled but he could see the anxiety in her eyes. "I'm sure I'll be perfectly fine." As long as the water remains as calm as possible, she added to herself. She pulled off her gloves and hat, resting them carefully on the side-table. She glanced at Edith, who understood the unspoken request, and excused herself from them, as he sat beside her.

"As long as you're sure." He watched her carefully as she looked around the room, twisting her engagement ring round her finger. Something she did, he had noticed, when she was agitated, which was becoming a more common occurrence as the wedding drew closer. He reached for her hand, the fidgeting starting to bother him. Just then Edith returned with a large bowl, a cloth and a glass of water.

"Just in case," she shrugged while Mary smiled gratefully at her. The engines suddenly roared into life and the boat moved. They were off. Mary closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Calm calm calm. Please. There were more people in the dining room now, and Matthew ordered some tea from a passing waiter.

"I'm going to go on the deck for a bit, would you care to join me?" Matthew finished his drink and looked at Mary expectantly. They had only been travelling for about half an hour, and she already looked a little paler than usual.

"No thank you. I'll stay here. You don't mind do you?" She looked slightly panicked at the thought of leaving her seat, of having to stand up, her head already aching and her stomach already churning.

"Of course not. Are you sure you'll be-"

"I'll be fine. Besides, Edith is here," she interrupted with a bright smile, but it was forced and didn't reach her eyes. "Go Matthew. It's not like we're going anywhere!"

He frowned but she was still smiling, "I'll see you shortly then," he knew he should stay with her, but he was actually glad of the few minutes alone, the most he would probably get all week. And really, she wasn't on her own, and she had practically insisted, he reasoned to himself.

He'd been wrong about the weather. Out on the deck, large gusts of wind billowed and rocked the boat, causing him, and the few others that had chanced it outside, to cling to the railings. The water was getting choppier and the sky was definitely darker than before. The sharp wind battered around him and stung his face, and it wasn't long before he decided to head back inside.

He almost ran back to Mary when he saw her. In the short amount of time he been away from them, she had adopted a grey-green waxy hue. She was holding onto the bowl, resting it on her knees, every so often bending her head over it. Edith was sat frowning in concern as she held a hand to Mary's forehead and rubbed her back with the other, whispering soothing words to her elder sister. He looked round; no-one was paying them any attention. For some reason he found this reassuring.

"Good god Mary, are you alright?" He knelt in front of her, and made to reach for her but stopped himself, vaguely aware of the terror stirring in his gut. He'd never known her to be ill, and this looked a lot worse than just a 'little sea sickness'. She met his gaze and tried to offer him a small smile.

"Oh I'm fine," but as she said it the boat lurched and she dropped her head back into the bowl, shoulders heaving. He shifted off the floor and sat next to her, his own hand resting on her lower back.

"Is she always like this? On a boat I mean?" His eyes met Edith's and he was surprised to see that she didn't look as worried as he knew that he did.

"Yes. Ever since she was a baby according to Mama. When she was ten, she nearly died," Edith turned properly to look at Matthew over Mary's bent head, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Really Edith, there's no need to be so dramatic," a voice came from the bowl, and they both smiled as she struggled to adopt a haughty tone to her shaky voice.

"But it's true," her sister replied indignantly. Mary groaned, another wave of sickness making her unable to argue.

"What happened?"

"We were going to visit Grandmamma, and the crossing was bad, horrible and stormy, and it made Mary so poorly that she couldn't keep anything down, only a little water. She was so dehydrated and hadn't eaten for days, but she just kept being sick… Papa hardly left her side. The doctor told us to prepare for the worst. Of course Sybil didn't really understand at the time…" she trailed off and Matthew noticed that her brown eyes were suddenly filled with tears. She blinked them back and carried on. "The doctor even called for the priest. We were just a couple of hours away from New York when the weather finally relented. As soon as it was calm, the change in her was…miraculous," she smiled fondly at her sister, who was now sitting up straight, taking deep breaths, streaks of tears visible on her cheeks. Edith handed her the water and the cloth. She wiped her face and sipped the water, keeping her eyes closed for a moment.

"Thank you," she smiled at Edith. "Let's hope that was it," she reached out a hand and patted Edith's leg affectionately. Matthew suddenly felt like he shouldn't be witnessing this rare moment of sisterly affection between them, even though it showed him that their relationship was possibly at the best that it had ever been. It almost felt like he was intruding. His arm moved up and covered her shoulders.

"Darling-"

"Matthew, don't worry. I'm fi-" but she was cut off by the sudden drop of her head back to the bowl. He chuckled softly and rubbed her back as Edith had done.

"Oh my dear, how on earth would you have coped crossing to America by yourself?" He wasn't expecting an answer but she croaked one out anyway.

"Sedatives." She squeezed her eyes shut, and took a deep breath. She was utterly drained and they weren't even halfway through the journey yet. She felt wretched, and knew she probably looked it. Her head was pounding. Why did she always forget just how ill being on a boat made her? She tried to listen to the conversation that Edith and Matthew were having, but it took far too much effort to even hold her head up, let alone join in. Eventually their voices became just a hum in the background. All she was aware of was a cool hand occasionally touching her forehead, the secure and comfortable warmth around her shoulders, and the glass of water occasionally being placed in front of her to drink from. How long she stayed like that she didn't know.

"Mary, we're here. We've docked," his voice was low in her ear, but just as soothing as his arm around her. She slowly sat up straight, blinking as she took in her surroundings. Mercifully, her stomach seemed to have stopped its somersaults, but the headache remained. She wiped her face again, before finishing the water that Matthew offered. She covered the bowl with the cloth and motioned for a passing waiter to collect it. Matthew helped her stand, and she smiled at him briefly but gratefully. She felt lightheaded and her legs were weak. Probably the lack of food. "How are you feeling?"

"Awful. I just want to lie down," she sighed and leaned against him. He resisted the urge to say something teasing, sensing that it would probably not go down well at that precise moment. He led her off the boat to Edith, who was waiting with the luggage and their brother-in-law.

"Are you alright Lady Mary?" Tom asked as he took in her pale, clammy demeanour and the way she was leaning against Mr Crawley.

"Fine, thank you Tom," though it was clear to everyone that she was not fine. "Where's Sybil?"

"She wanted to stay at the house to make sure everything was ready," he smiled. "I've got a cab waiting."

The journey to the Branson's house passed in an awkward silence. Without Mary taking the lead, feeling too unwell to make polite chitchat, the others were stuck with how to begin a conversation with the former chauffeur. However, it wasn't too long before they arrived at a reasonably-sized, relatively smart looking house that seemed to be in fairly pleasant area of town. Both Edith and Mary looked up and down the street, realising that they were quite far from their comfort zone. Matthew simply smiled; his old house in Manchester being quite similar. The two men carried the bags to the front door and Tom let them in.

"You're here!" Sybil's voice travelled through the hallway as she rushed out from what was presumably the living room. She beamed as she saw her sisters, hurrying to embrace them but stopping dead when she saw her eldest sister, her nursing instinct kicking in. "You are going to bed right now!" Mary nodded mutely, her head still throbbing. "Tom, bring up the bags and I'll show Mary to her room. Kathleen?" A girl of about seventeen appeared from round the door of the kitchen and bobbed her head at the guests.

"Yes Mrs Branson?" Edith flashed Mary a small smile at that. Their little sister was a _Mrs_.

"Please show Lady Edith and Mr Crawley into the sitting room. We'll be back down in a minute." She nodded and smiled at the lady and gentleman before indicating for them to follow her.

Sybil opened a door at the top of the stairs and led Mary inside, followed by Tom, who left the bags just inside the door before heading back down. "Bad crossing?"

"Awful," Mary sank onto the bed and sighed as she removed her hat, coat and gloves, before passing them to Sybil's outstretched hands.

"You rest, and I'll come and check on you in a little while. We don't change for dinner, so there's a lot more time," she grinned mischievously.

"Good thing Granny's not here!" Sybil smiled and switched the light off as she closed the door behind her. Mary pulled the blankets back before sliding under them. Goodness this bed was comfortable. Her head hit the pillow, the ache easing a little, and her eyes fluttered, struggling to stay open, and then as she warmed up, she felt a not unpleasant spinning sensation and…

"Mary? Are you awake?" Sybil's voice was soft and quiet, and as Mary blinked her eyes open she saw her sister, gently illuminated by the light coming from the open door. "I'm just seeing how you are. I've brought you some tea. How are you feeling?" Mary sat up and took the cup offered by her sister, slowly sipping the sweet liquid before placing it on the side.

"A little better, thank you. Where are Edith and Matthew?" She looked round the unfamiliar room, suddenly aware that this was her _sister's_ house.

"Downstairs with Tom. I believe congratulations are in order," she glanced at Mary's hand and back to her face.

"Who told you?" Her eyes widened in realisation.

"Matthew. When I went down, I mentioned seeing a piece of jewellery on you that I hadn't seen before…and I don't think he could keep it quiet." She beamed at her sister.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you myself," her eyes adjusted to the light, she looked over her sister properly and smiled back, having not noticed earlier. "But I see congratulations of my own are in order!" Sybil looked down smiling, a flush colouring her cheeks, her hand moving to stroke her bump. "I take it you are pregnant, and you've not just had a large lunch?" Mary smiled wryly at the younger woman, who giggled at the question.

"Yes of course! Obviously, Edith and Matthew know. And Mama and Papa. I wrote to them at Christmas but told them not to tell you. We wanted to tell you in person. You don't mind do you?"

Mary opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted, and distracted, by Matthew appearing in the doorway, neither of them unable to stop their faces lighting up at the sight of the other. Sybil looked between them, smiled and quietly left. Matthew approached the bed and sat on the edge, reaching for her hands, thumbs gently rubbing her knuckles.

"How are you feeling?" He was smiling, but his bright eyes were filled with concern.

"Better," she sat up straighter, meaning it. He shifted slightly towards her.

"Oh good," he murmured close to her face before leaning in and kissing her softly. Just as she was starting to enjoy the feel of his lips on hers…he pulled away with a sigh. "I came up to see if Sybil had asked you about dinner?" At the mention of food, she blanched and he smiled.

"No. Thank you. I don't think I can eat anything yet." He nodded, still holding her hands, lifting them to kiss them. "Matthew? When you go down, would you send Edith up? Or Sybil?"

"Of course, why?" She dropped her gaze, embarrassed, and bit her lip. "Mary?"

"I can't…I'll need one of them to help me…my…corset," she looked back at him, waiting for the information to register.

"Oh. Ah. Of course," he stammered and blushed, his eyes lingering on hers for a moment longer than necessary, as if he was tempted to offer his own assistance. "I'd better go, dinner won't be long. I'll check in on you after, if that's alright?" She nodded and he kissed her again, and again, and a final time before standing up and walking out, flashing her a smile that would have made her knees weak had she been stood up.

* * *

><p>"Are you feeling better?" Sybil asked brightly as Mary walked into the dining room, greeting them all with a smile and a nod, and a kiss on the cheek for Matthew.<p>

"So what are we doing today?" Edith turned to Sybil.

"We thought we'd take you into the city. Maybe we could go and look at wedding dresses!" Behind his newspaper, Tom groaned, while Matthew rolled his eyes, both of which did not go unnoticed by the Crawley women.

"Well you can go and do something else while we're looking! It's not like _you_ need a wedding dress Matthew," Mary responded with a smile as she sat down.

* * *

><p>The walk into the city centre didn't take long, and the five of them talked and laughed as they made their way through the streets, Sybil holding hands with her husband, Mary linking her arm with Matthew's, and Edith walking between the two couples. Sybil led them to the dress shop where her own wedding dress had been purchased and turned to Tom and Matthew.<p>

"We'll meet you on the Ha'penny Bridge at noon," she smiled and kissed Tom before ushering her sisters inside the boutique. Tom shrugged at Matthew, who smiled, and they headed towards the castle.

"What are you looking for?" Sybil asked Mary, who was trailing her hands over different gowns, seemingly deep in thought.

"Oh I don't know. Mama has her own ideas of course, but I told her that if I see something I like then that is what I shall have."

"Yes but Mama is not getting married. She's not being too bad is she?" They followed her lead and picked up the soft silk and lace creations, holding them up for Mary to have a proper look.

"No. Well, not by herself. The older Crawley women have united. Mama, Granny and Isobel make quite the formidable team!" Mary caught Edith's eye and they both smiled at the memory of some of the rather heated arguments that had taken place. Edith had managed to extricate herself from the planning early on and, in a show of solidarity for her sister, had stated that she was happy to go with whatever Mary wanted. "And it's May that bump is due to make itself known?"

"Yes. Matthew said the wedding is June."

"Do you think you'll be able to be bridesmaid?"

"I hope so, but you won't be offended if not will you?"

"Darling of course not," she beamed at both of her sisters as she something caught her eye. "What about this one?" they both nodded and smiled at the dress she was holding out.

Mary paid and arranged for the dress to be delivered to Sybil's house, and then they left, seconds later finding themselves first in a jewellery shop, and then a shoe shop. The time passed without them noticing, and all of a sudden they were running late to meet Tom and Matthew, who they could see waiting for them as they approached the bridge.

"Lady Mary!" A voice called from behind her and she spun at the familiarity of it, smiling broadly when she saw the source.

"Evelyn!" She started walking towards him, Sybil and Edith in tow. She took his hand before stepping back. "Do you remember my sisters, Sybil and Edith?" They both smiled at the gentleman as he nodded towards each of them.

"Yes of course. A pleasure to see you both again," he caught Edith's gaze for a second longer than he had Sybil's, causing her to flush, and drop her gaze. He swallowed before turning back to Mary. "So what brings you to Dublin?"

"Visiting Sybil, and I have also taken on the mission of finding a wedding dress."

"Really? And who am I to offer my congratulations to? Not Richard Carlisle?" He frowned slightly.

"No. Matthew Crawley," she smiled as Evelyn's eyebrows raised first in surprise, then recognition.

"Ah yes, the heir…nice fellow. He was injured in France wasn't he?" Mary's eyes darkened a fraction at the mention of the war, and she opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Matthew, who had appeared at her side, having watched her stop and greet a gentleman in a very friendly manner, and who had felt jealousy surge through him in an instant.

"Yes I was," his tone was cold, and they all turned to look at him, surprised at his rudeness. "But I'm quite recovered now."

"Matthew, don't you remember Mr Napier?" He looked over the other man and distant, foggy memories surfaced in his mind, reminding him of a time he had repressed for a reason. Several reasons.

"Yes of course," his face and voice softened, after all it wasn't _his_ fault… Matthew forced the thought from his mind before speaking again. "Were you there?" Evelyn nodded, and an unspoken understanding passed between the two men in a simple look that excluded the others. They had been there, they _knew_. The others hadn't, and would never understand, not really.

"And what brings you to this side of the Irish Sea Evelyn?" Mary took charge of the conversation once more.

"I'm visiting an old friend. He teaches at Trinity. In fact, I'm running a little late to meet him. I should like you to come for tea though, before you go, all of you," he glanced at Edith, "when you have some time of course." He reeled off his address, doffed his hat and walked off, with a final glance at Edith, something that was not missed by her eagle-eyed sisters.

* * *

><p>The following few days passed in a flurry of sightseeing and walking, before the light started to fade as each night approached, and Mary, Edith and Matthew all began to feel weary; collapsing into their seats once they were back in the comfort of Sybil and Tom's house. Yet, tired as they were, they had never felt so relaxed. They had changed for dinner only once during the trip, and that was when they had been for dinner at Tom's mother's house. They had also managed to have tea with Evelyn, which had been an interesting afternoon, at least from Mary and Sybil's point of view. Tom had been at work, so it had just been the four of them. Matthew and Evelyn shared war stories while the sisters had simply sat and nodded and looked shocked in the right places, but they didn't mind, especially when Evelyn's gaze kept roving to the blonde sister, catching her eye and giving her a small smile, which she returned with a blush, before he turned back to the other man.<p>

* * *

><p>Their final night arrived, and as they relaxed in the lounge after dinner, Tom spoke, "I was thinking we might take them to The Clock tonight." The words were directed at his wife but his gaze drifted to his guests. "Seamus wants to meet the sisters-in-law that he's heard so much about! He's one of my colleagues," he answered as he saw Mary's eyebrows twitch in a question.<p>

"Yes let's go, you'll enjoy it!" Sybil may have been six months pregnant, but the thought of her sisters in a pub was too tempting to resist. Without really having any say in the matter, it was decided. To The Clock they were going.

* * *

><p>They walked into the crowded bar, and Mary and Edith instinctively moved closer together, closer to Matthew, who merely smiled at their reaction. The pub was loud and full, and the sound of singing drifted over from the rear of the room. Sybil led them to a table, where Edith and Mary quickly sat down, sizing up the patrons with wary but practiced eyes, themselves being eyed up, while Tom went to get the drinks, returning after a few minutes with a tray of four glasses of a dark, almost black, liquid, and water for Sybil.<p>

"Guinness. Nectar of the gods!" Tom beamed, ignoring Mary and Edith's horrified looks, instead handing them a glass each. "Cheers!" Both he and Matthew took a large glug, grinning as they set their glasses down…while Edith and Mary looked at theirs in thinly-disguised disgust. "Come on ladies, it won't kill you!" They looked at each other, took a deep breath and drank some of the liquid, frowning slightly at the unusual taste.

"That wasn't too bad," Mary put her glass down and smiled triumphantly, earning a chuckle and a peck on the cheek from Matthew.

"Tom Branson! I thought it was you! Sybil! Now who are these lovely ladies?" A short, brown-haired man appeared at the table, practically bouncing with excitement. Tom stood and shook his hand.

"Seamus, this is Lady Mary and Lady Edith, Sybil's sisters. And this is Mr Crawley, Mary's husband to be!"

"I see beauty runs in the family then. I'll bet your ma's just as lovely!" He grinned and held out a hand to them. "Now I'm not leaving until one of you comes and has a dance with me!" He looked between the two women expectantly.

Edith downed the rest of her drink with a cough, shook her head, and stood a little unsteadily. "I will!" She ignored the shocked look from Mary, and the impressed one from Tom. She was on holiday. She wanted to have fun. That was allowed wasn't it? And it wasn't like being at a party at Downton or in London where everyone knew someone, she knew only the people on her table.

"And a pleasure it will be Lady Edith," he smiled and led her to the centre of the pub where a space had been cleared for dancing. The music changed to a fast song and they all watched, laughing as Edith was spun and twirled and moved from partner to partner in a merry jig, more and more people joining the throng of dancers, while the people watching clapped and stamped their feet in time. Seamus managed to get a dance out of all three Crawley sisters, though a slower one with Sybil. He twirled Mary back to the seat and Matthew's waiting arms, before dragging Edith up again.

"Well, you seemed to be enjoying that. Do I have to worry that you might end the engagement?" He clumsily draped an arm round her shoulder, knocking her towards him. His eyes flickered over her face, noticing the flushed cheeks, the bright eyes and the hair that was coming loose from the previously immaculate knot. She was still so beautiful. He sighed and lifted his other hand, reaching up to brush her cheek.

"Yes Matthew. I'm sorry, but that man has danced me off my feet. You don't mind terribly do you?" She answered with a broad grin before titling her head up to kiss him, their lips meeting far more passionately than she had intended. She felt dizzy, but not unpleasantly so, and moved her arms so they were around his neck. Someone jostled into them from behind and they broke apart, embarrassed that they had been so public in displaying their affections.

"Sorry! Oh don't mind me lovebirds. I see the rock, when's the wedding?" A large bearded man was stood far closer to them than Mary would have liked. Matthew kept his arm around her and looked up at the man.

"June!" He grinned.

"Ah good man, she looks like a keeper!" Mary hung her head, cheeks burning. "Oh don't mind me. If you kiss him like that before you're married, you stand to have a very nice time after the wedding!" Matthew flushed at that and the man walked off laughing to himself. He reached and took a sip of his whiskey - when had he got that? – Before pulling Mary closer to him, his other hand caressing the nape of her neck distractedly. She sighed and leaned into him, the combination of the beer, dancing and Matthew's fingers on her skin making her feel pleasantly lightheaded. She watched as Edith was spun round and round the floor, letting go a fraction too early and stumbling into someone. Into Evelyn. Who held out his hand to steady her, smiling broadly.

Mary sat up and watched her sister as she was led to the bar, but she suddenly found she was distracted by a low voice in her ear. "Perhaps we could go and get some air," his lips brushed against her neck, making her eyes flutter shut and her heart pound erratically.

"And why would we want to do that?"

"Well, come with me and find out," he kissed her neck again, making them both forget that Sybil and Tom were sat just across from them, and that they were in a crowded pub. She was dizzy and warm and tingling all over, and she knew that it wasn't just because of the beer that the sensations felt heightened. She nodded, meeting his dark gaze with her own. He laced his fingers with hers as they stood, smiling and giggling, determined to ignore Tom and Sybil's knowing looks as they left.

He pulled her out of the pub and down the dark and deserted alleyway they had passed on their way to the pub, the cool air doing nothing to dampen the fires burning within them. With a gentle push, he backed her against the wall and she gasped, all of it happening too quickly to actually process, her reactions already slowed due to the drinking.

"Matthew!" She exclaimed as his hands gripped her waist before he bent his head and kissed her, her hands sliding up and resting on his neck. His mouth moved quickly to her neck and ears, both of them moaning softly as his hands started to travel over her.

"Do you think Edith would notice if you weren't in your room tonight?"

"She might!"

"Just one night Mary…our _last_ night," he kissed her ear, each touch making him want more.

"Why Mr Crawley, I do believe you are trying to lead me astray! We _can't_…"

"Please…" he was completely lost in a lusty drunken haze where nothing apart from the feel of her pressed against him made sense. She was trying to stick to her resolve, really she was, but his lips just felt so heavenly against her skin, scorching her as he lightly traced along her jaw.

"Maybe…" She felt him smile against her.

"Better. We don't have to…that…other things…" her mind started racing at what he was implying, her breathing becoming shallower, as he mumbled into her ear between hot kisses.

"Matthew, your hand is inside my blouse; please explain where one might draw the line!" He chuckled and it vibrated through her, eliciting a small gasp. She pulled back, hands resting on his shoulders, smiling as their eyes met. The separation did not last long however as he couldn't resist leaning in to kiss her again, a slow and deeply passionate kiss…and then abruptly pulling away from her completely, watching as she stumbled slightly without his arms around her, keeping her upright. "What are you doing?" The frustration she felt was evident in her wide eyes and the disbelief in her tone.

"You're right. We can't. We shouldn't. Shall we go back inside?" His eyes were full of mischief as he started walking backwards from her. Her eyes narrowed. This was payback for the comment about his desk. Well, two could play at that game. Maybe she would pay a visit to his bedroom after all. She settled her expression into one of absolute serenity and followed him back to the pub. No, it certainly wouldn't do to let him have the last word in this case. She smiled. This was going to be fun.

* * *

><p><em>AN – I've never written Sybil, Branson or Edith at any great length before so I hope I've done them justice. And yes, I brought Evelyn Napier back (I blame spending too much time on tumblr for that).  
><em>

_Chapter 6: A birthday surprise...  
><em>


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you for all of your continued support with this! It really means a lot that so many of you are reading it, and more than that, enjoying it! So thank you, again, sincerely. Also, apologies, again, for the delay. The end of this chapter has been driving me mad and I just wasn't happy with how it was going. I have also written three one-shots in the interim (which you can find on my tumblr page). This has also become a really long chapter…but never mind!_

_I should probably enlighten you to some sort of time-scale as well, because it's occurred to me that you might not actually be able to read my mind! The trip to Dublin took place from the 15__th__ – 22nd__ February 1920. That's probably the main one, for now anyway…_

_Happy Monday everyone!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

_Monday 8__th__ March._

"They're in the drawing room sir, just go through."

"No!" Carson couldn't hide his shock at the harsh, loud whisper that had escaped Mr Crawley's lips. "I'm sorry Carson. I don't want to see Lady Mary; it was Lord Grantham that I was hoping to speak with. Alone." He looked at Carson, who was eyeing him suspiciously. "It's about Lady Mary's birthday," he kept his voice low, but his gaze still flicked around the hall, as if she might at appear at any moment.

Carson gave a small understanding smile. "If you wait in the library sir, I'll fetch his lordship for you," he nodded at the younger man, who let himself into the library, hands clasping and unclasping nervously.

* * *

><p>Robert sat back and took a sip of his drink. He had been surprised when Carson had appeared and whispered that he was needed urgently, even more so when he saw Matthew standing in the library, looking like he was about to face the gallows. He looked at the young man carefully. There really was no-one better than him for Mary.<p>

"I wanted to run it by you first, before I do anything. What do you think?" He tapped his own glass, still full of the amber liquid, unable to stomach anything other than a sip or two of wine since the trip to Dublin. Robert smiled; love made men do funny things, even sensible men like Matthew.

"I think that it is an excellent idea. And if you need anything, anything at all, you need only ask my dear chap. Does she have any idea?"

"No. Well, I don't think so. I hope she doesn't. And I want to keep it that way!"

"And you know she really doesn't like-"

"Yes, Sybil said. I mentioned it to her and Edith in Ireland," he replied quickly, noticing Robert's eyebrows twitch in surprise, and hoping he hadn't flushed at the mention of the trip.

"Well, in that case, if you're sure, all I can say is good luck!"

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday 9<em>_th__ March._

"Are you alright Matthew? You seem distracted," his gaze snapped back to her, ready to brush off the question she had asked him three times already, but on seeing her brown eyes so filled with love, and her brow creased in concern, any irritation he felt vanished. She was asking because she cared, because she loved him. And he was being rotten company, he knew that, but he was worried about what he might reveal if he let his guard down.

"I'm fine. I just have one or two difficult clients at the moment," he smiled, but she was not placated. He was nervous and tense, and had almost berated her for appearing at his office that day until he remembered that they had arranged to meet for luncheon, and she wasn't just turning up unexpectedly. She frowned, wondering where his mind was, as he looked back out of the window of the teashop.

"Granny said there's a new doctor starting at the hospital," it wasn't the most interesting piece of information, and no doubt Isobel had probably already mentioned it, but it was all she had that wasn't wedding related or repeating herself in this one-sided conversation with him. He didn't respond. "Doctor William Taylor. He's moved from Wales. He's a widower." Still nothing. "And apparently he dresses like a clown and slaps his patients."

"What?" He looked back at her, blinking, as if he'd forgotten that she was sat across from him, a frustrated expression on her face.

"Nothing. Do you know, I think I'll head back. I promised Mama I'd help her with a few things," she pulled on her gloves.

"Yes of course." He walked her back to the station in silence. "I'm not coming for dinner tonight," he turned to face her as they reached the platform; the most attentive he had been to her that afternoon.

"Oh?"

"I've got too much work to do I'm afraid. I'll try and see you tomorrow night though," he leaned in and quickly kissed her cheek before turning and walking off, leaving her watching after him in disbelief and confusion. The feelings did not disappear as she boarded the train; something was playing heavily on his mind, and it wasn't just his workload. She chewed her in lip in thought, a frown etched onto her face.

* * *

><p>"Now who on earth is that at this time?" Mrs Hughes headed towards the back door, knowing that they weren't expecting anyone, but also painfully aware that it was getting closer to dinner time upstairs. Carson followed after her, equally baffled. If the knock on the door surprised them, it was nothing compared to the shock they felt when they opened the door.<p>

"Mr Crawley! Is everything alright?" They stood aside to let him in.

"Yes. I'm sorry for coming here like this, but I wanted to speak to you both. And to Mrs Patmore and Anna as well, if you wouldn't mind sparing me a few minutes. I understand that this isn't the best time…" he looked between them, his heart hammering loudly in his chest and his hands feeling clammy.

Carson, recognising the similar demeanour from the previous day, stepped forwards, and spoke in his low, deep voice, "is it to do with why you wanted to speak to his lordship yesterday Mr Crawley?" Matthew visibly relaxed, and he nodded. "Mrs Hughes, perhaps we could go into your room? If you would go and fetch Mrs Patmore and Anna, I'll show Mr Crawley through," the housekeeper smiled at the butler before walking off, and Carson indicated for Matthew to follow him. They were joined moments later by the women. Mrs Hughes closed the door behind her, and all four servants looked apprehensively at Matthew, whose nervousness had returned as he pulled out some papers from his coat pocket, and coughed.

* * *

><p>"And his lordship is quite happy about all of this?" Carson broke the silence.<p>

"Yes. I wanted to speak to him first, and he is willing to help how and where he can. Obviously, if any of you have any objections-"

"Oh I don't think you need to worry about that Mr Crawley. If his lordship is happy with the arrangement, then I think we all can be," Anna interrupted and offered him a kind smile. Helping him was the least she could do after his continued help with John's case.

"You do understand that it is not to leave this room though? It must remain absolutely secret, for now anyway." They all nodded, smiling at each other.

"You have our word Mr Crawley," Carson smiled at him, knowing then that Lady Mary would be a very happy woman when she married the future earl. "Will you be wanting to join the family tonight sir?"

"No thank you Carson. I don't want them to know that I was here." The butler led him back to the door. "Sorry for disrupting the evening. I'll be in touch," he flashed a grateful smile at the butler, before replacing his hat and leaving.

* * *

><p><em>Friday 12<em>_th__ March._

"Excuse me Lady Edith, there's a telephone call for you." Mrs Hughes smiled as she entered the room, noting the look of surprise that flashed across the face of the young woman. Edith placed her embroidery on the table and followed the housekeeper out of the room.

"Has Matthew decided on his suit yet?" Cora turned to Mary, who looked up from her book in surprise.

"Hmm? Oh, no. I don't think so. I'll ask."

"Well he needs to sort it out soon. Is he coming for dinner tonight?" Since January, Matthew and Isobel spent most nights dining at the big house. Not that anyone minded, not even Violet.

"Yes. Well I think so. He's not said otherwise. Isobel will definitely be making it though," she smiled at her mother and shrugged, returning her attention to the novel in front of her, but finding her concentration had lapsed, her mind suddenly full of other things. She had reminded herself of his distraction the other day, and something about it still bothered her. He had not seemed like himself for a while now. She tried to think back to when he'd started to act a little more distantly…Dublin? Yes, it must be. She hoped he wasn't still embarrassed, he hadn't mentioned it, and he had been fine, mortified, but fine when they'd returned. Or at least, he'd told her he was fine.

She tried to suppress her smile as she reminded herself of the last night there; what an event that had been. His memories of it were…hazy at best. She knew he remembered going back to Sybil and Tom's house. There was possibly some recollection of the two men laughing like children as they made it through half a bottle of potcheen, to the disapproving raised eyebrows and shushing of the two dark-haired women, Edith having dragged herself to bed as soon as they got in, the effects of the beer already wearing off. She knew he hadn't remembered attempting an Irish jig with Tom and falling over, resulting in a rather spectacular bruise on his leg. Lord it's a wonder he hadn't hurt his back doing that! And he definitely didn't remember her and Sybil having to help both him and Tom upstairs. Or Mary helping him to change into his pyjamas before he collapsed on the bed and passed out. She had left him as he was, served him right really, and had gone to her own bed. The next morning, he had taken her outside and, blushing furiously, had mumbled and coughed and whispered his way through an apology for his behaviour, and went so quiet that she had just about managed to make out a few words that sounded like "should have waited" and "wedding night" and "not how I intended things". She had had to bite back a smile, wondering how long she could tease him for, before the anguish on his embarrassed face finally made her relent and fill him in on what had really happened, which was actually nothing at all.

The door clicking and Edith's reappearance startled her out of her reverie. Her sister looked nervous and flustered.

"Edith?" Cora turned to look at her, suddenly concerned as her middle child hovered and fidgeted.

"I'm going out for a walk. See you later," and with that she left again, leaving both Mary and Cora looking at each other, more than a little confused.

"What do you think that's about?"

"I have absolutely no idea," although a part of Mary briefly wondered if it was something to do with Evelyn Napier.

* * *

><p>"Ah Edith, do sit down," Violet smiled as Edith stood awkwardly, taking in the sight of her grandmother and Cousin Isobel drinking tea together. "No need to look so surprised. Now have you spoken to Matthew?"<p>

"Have I spoken to Matthew?" She sat in the indicated chair, peeling off her gloves.

"There's no need to repeat dear, you're not a parrot. Has he mentioned Mary's birthday to you?"

"Well, he asked me and Sybil about it when we were in Dublin, but he hasn't said anything since," she looked between the two older women, clearly confused. Violet and Isobel exchanged a knowing smile before they both fully turned to face Edith.

* * *

><p>"So what do you think?" They looked at her expectantly.<p>

"Well…I…I suppose it is a good idea but we did tell him that she doesn't-"

"Yes, yes," Violet waved her hand. "But are you on board?" Edith looked between the two older women, nodded and smiled, feeling that, really, she had little choice but to agree.

"Now, to other matters, Edith, have you met the new doctor yet?" Violet asked with a smile as she poured more tea.

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday 16<em>_th__ March._

She found him in the library. There weren't many other places he'd be, but she'd still been surprised when he hadn't come through with her father. He was sat on the settee, totally absorbed in a book. She walked over and stood next to him for a moment, noticing then that he wasn't actually reading, merely staring at the pages before him, and he hadn't noticed her presence. A horrible feeling of dread washed over her. It had been what…almost two years since he had returned from France? And he had been fine, well apart from the obvious. Or had he? She frowned. Was it possible for shell-shock to set in after so long? Had he really been alright or was he just very good at pretending?

"Matthew…" her voice was soft, but his head snapped up and he looked at her in surprise at the sound of it. When had she come in? When had she sat down? He blinked and looked down; her hand was gently resting on his arm, the engagement ring shining in the low light. He looked back up and met her concerned gaze.

"I'm sorry my dear. Your father said I could borrow one or two books and I suppose I got a bit distracted," he smiled and kissed her cheek, his heart suddenly racing in panic. Her eyes narrowed a fraction. She didn't believe him, and he knew it. She recovered her expression, flashing him a bright smile. There was a secret between them now, and it didn't feel pleasant for either of them. Maybe he could just tell her and be done with it…

"I keep meaning to ask, Mama wants to know what you're doing about your suit," she interrupted his train of thought, still wondering if it was the after-effects of the war, or something else entirely, that was causing his distraction.

"My suit?"

"Yes, for the wedding. You know, that day when we are to be bound as husband and wife," she rolled her eyes in frustration. He looked at her, taking in how lovely she looked in the soft light of the lamps and the fire. In the past couple of weeks, what with everything else that had been going on, he had completely forgotten that he was getting married. He knew that there was going to be a wedding, but for some reason that thought had not connected itself to the idea of being married, and with a jolt, he realised that this beautiful woman next to him was going to be _his wife_ and he felt the rush of giddy excitement that he hadn't experienced for a while. He put the book down and leaned in, kissing her slowly, one hand reaching up to caress her cheek, the other sliding around her waist. He took her by surprise, but she quickly relaxed into it, resting her hands on his chest as they moved closer together. He pulled away after a few minutes and took her hands in his.

"I'm sorry my darling, I fear I've neglected you somewhat and left you to face the lions by yourself," he smiled, chuckling when she returned it with an arch of her eyebrow. "I will wear whatever you want me to wear. You. Not my mother, or your mother, or Cousin Violet," he smiled ruefully in a plea for…forgiveness almost. No, he couldn't tell her. Not when it was so close.

A thought flitted across her mind as he spoke, dissipating all others, and she tried to dismiss it, it reminded her too much of a time when… No. But it wouldn't disappear. Maybe…

"I know how you can make it up to me," she smiled as he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "How about something formal for the wedding?"

"Well it shall already be formal my dear, I can hardly turn up in my pyjamas!" He flushed at his choice of words and all that they implied. He wasn't the only one, and she thought back to Dublin and how she'd undressed him, and resisted the (very strong) urge to run her hands over the smooth skin of his torso…

"No I suppose not," she smiled, willing _those_ thoughts back into control. "I was thinking of something more formal than a suit. I was thinking of…" she paused as the image settled in her mind, and it was an image that caused her heart to flutter and desire and heat to flood her. "I was thinking more of your mess kit." He frowned, and she wondered if it was possibly the worst idea she'd ever had. What if he was shell-shocked and she was now asking him to wear something that would remind him of the war on the day that was meant to be their happiest? He was just looking at her, an unreadable expression on his face. "I'm sorry. It was silly of me to suggest. You should choose what you wear…you have far more experience in selecting men's attire than I do!" She spoke quickly and with a false smile, now feeling uneasy at even mentioning it.

He noticed the nervous smile, and the far too breezy tone…but he had also noticed the spark in her eyes when she had mentioned his uniform, and how her smile – her real smile – had brightened a fraction, and the faint flush that had coloured her cheeks. He tilted his head to the side and smiled, surprised and more than a little curious at her reaction to the red uniform. "My darling, if that is what you wish, that is what you shall get! Besides, I'm sure your father won't mind wearing his. And Edward as well," he smiled and dipped his head, meeting her gaze, before leaning in to kiss her, feeling her lips curl into a smile against his.

* * *

><p><em>Friday 19<em>_th__ March._

"Anna, are you alright?" Mary watched the maid carefully in the mirror as the other woman fixed her hair. It seemed like she was actively avoiding looking her in the eye.

"Of course my lady. All done," Anna briefly met her gaze before stepping away and busying herself with putting away the rejected outfits. Mary frowned. Everyone was behaving so strangely at the moment. She wondered if it was the wedding planning, which was now in full force. Although Mary had had very little to do with that so far, and it didn't seem like that would alter any time soon. It must be Bates. Well, she hoped so…

"How are things with Bates?" Anna looked stunned at the question, almost as if she had been expecting something else but recovered quickly. Not quickly enough. Mary had noticed the sudden panic that had flashed in her eyes.

"He's keeping his spirits up my lady, and Mr Murray and Mr Crawley are doing the best they can. I'm going to see him later today," she smiled, bobbed her head before leaving. Yes, everyone was definitely acting very strangely. Anna let out a sigh as she left Lady Mary's room. She would be glad when tomorrow was over, but until then she had an appointment to keep.

* * *

><p><em>Saturday 20<em>_th__ March._

She paused at the door and took a deep breath, before fixing her most gracious smile and turning the handle…

"Happy birthday!" The chorus of voices greeted her as she walked into the dining room, and smiled and nodded as her parents moved to kiss her on the cheek, followed by Edith, and finally Matthew.

"Happy birthday my lady, what would you like?" Carson smiled at her warmly as she made her way to the food that was laid out ready, knowing, perhaps better than everyone else, that it was all a show.

"Just some toast. Thank you Carson," she caught his eye and offered the butler a small smile. It was going to be a long day. They all ate in silence, glancing between each other with knowing smiles, and Mary, who had fixed her gaze on her breakfast and was ignoring them.

After breakfast they headed into the library, where Violet and Isobel were waiting for them. Matthew closed his hand around hers, holding her back as they walked through.

"Are you alright?" She turned to look at him, the false smile again plastered across her face.

"Yes of course. It's my birthday. Why wouldn't I be?" She gave a slight shrug and walked off to sit on the settee, and he began to wonder if he should have maybe listened to her sisters, but it was too late now.

There was a small pile of presents on the floor next to Mary's feet, Matthew's included. He hoped she would forgive him.

"Open this one first, it's off Matthew," Cora nodded at him as she read the tag and passed the present to her reluctant daughter. Cora smiled, some things never changed.

"What is it?" They were all watching eagerly as she carefully peeled off the thick paper.

"It's…a copy of _Persuasion_," she was unable to stop the flat tone creeping into her voice. She smiled at him and nodded in thanks, but they could all tell that it was not what she had been expecting.

"I thought you'd like it!" He knew very well that she was not overly fond of Austen. She'd forgive him. She would. She had to... "Open it…I wrote something inside!" He beamed at her. She opened the front cover and raised her eyebrows.

"So you did. To Mary, many happy returns on your birthday. Love Matthew. Thank you darling. You really shouldn't have," he grinned, as if oblivious to the anger in her eyes and the disdain that dripped from every word. The rest of the presents were just as disappointing, to Mary anyway, but after Matthew's, she kept her feelings hidden, merely smiling and nodding as she received a hideous hat, an equally hideous trinket box, some drawing pencils, and various other items that she had neither use for nor interest in. No-one was fooled by her performance, but they played along. It would be worth it later.

"We didn't think you'd want much, what with the wedding coming up," Cora smiled. Mary nodded, for once unable to articulate her feelings. Everyone chatted around her while she looked through the presents.

"Mary, would you like to go into Ripon for a bit?" eventually Edith addressed Mary directly and looked at her expectantly, hoping that she would agree. Mary sighed; well she didn't have much else to do.

"Alright. The day can only improve I suppose. Are you coming Matthew?" All eyes were on him, all knowing, except for Mary, that he would refuse.

"No. I can't sorry. I've got too much work to do. But I'll be back for dinner tonight."

"Oh," this was a disappointment she did not try to hide, even as he kissed her cheek in apology. She might not like her birthday, but she had at least been looking forward to spending the day with her fiancé. "Well, I'll go and get ready then." They let out a collective sigh as she closed the door behind her.

* * *

><p>"Edith, I really want to go back now. I don't think there's much more we can look at, and it is past lunchtime." They had been in Ripon for almost three hours, and while Mary had enjoyed spending the time with her sister, there wasn't a great deal to do. They had spent well over an hour in a dress shop for goodness sake. Edith was also fed up, not of Mary's company though. Honestly, it had been so nice to be just the two of them, something which hadn't happened in a very long time. But she had strict instructions. She checked her watch. Finally.<p>

"Yes, alright." They walked back to the car, and Mary was grateful that Edith had offered to drive. The younger woman turned to her sister and bit her lip. Now…now came the tricky part. "Mary…there's something I need to do, and you're not going to like it." She reached into the car and pulled out a scarf.

"Edith," it was a question, a warning. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry. I'm following very specific orders," she moved behind Mary and tied the scarf around her eyes, making sure she couldn't see a thing before helping her into the back of the car.

"Whose orders might I ask?"

"I can't say." Mary sighed, and had she not been blindfolded, she would have rolled her eyes. Kidnapped on her birthday, by her own sister. Well, she supposed that it was one way of making it a memorable one.

After a while, though Mary could not say how long, they stopped and she was helped out of the car, and led through a door.

"Can I take this off yet?"

"No."

"We're not at home are we?" Edith didn't answer, afraid of giving something away if she said anything else. "Edith?" No answer. She was being led up some stairs now, and through another door. Well she thought so; it was so hard to tell.

"Just trust me Mary." Those words filled Mary with panic. At first, it had been amusing, but now, the novelty had worn off. What was going on? She felt someone start to undress her and she pulled back, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Edith…what is going on?"

"I can't say. But you must trust me, just let it happen." Mary nodded, cautiously moving her arms to her side, really having no other choice. She was at the mercy of her sister. She was undressed and then redressed, and then had some jewellery put on her, and then the scarf was held to her eyes as it was untied and something was done to her hair. She realised then that there was someone else in the room with them, and she didn't know whether that was reassuring or not. Finally, Edith declared that she was ready and that they were going back downstairs. Mary hoped that she would be able to eat soon…it was so long since breakfast.

She was led into what was presumably another room, and then Edith's warm grasp disappeared, and she felt quite alone. She clasped her hands in front of her and waited...

"You look beautiful," the familiar voice, low and smooth in her ear, made her gasp and her heart started racing. She felt his hands at the back of her head, and she blinked several times as she adjusted to the sudden brightness around her. She turned to face him, and felt quite faint as she looked over him, taking in the mischievous smile, the brightness of his eyes…and that he was in his dinner suit. She quickly looked down and saw that she was in her favourite evening dress. Then she looked round the room. They definitely weren't at home. It was a dining room, and there was something familiar about it, but she wasn't sure what it was…

"We're at Crawley House," he smiled gently as she studied the room. "I have…one or two things for you."

"Is one of them food?" He chuckled, reaching for her hand and lacing their fingers together. "I'm serious darling. I've not eaten since breakfast!" She automatically stepped towards him and leaned in for a kiss. "And why I am here?"

"You'll find out. Now, just come with me." He led her out of the room and up the stairs, choosing to ignore her raised eyebrows, and instead nodding once at Molesley as they walked past him. He stopped outside a room and took a deep breath before pushing the door open. He nudged her inside but stayed in the doorway, smiling as she blushed when she realised which room it was.

"This is my bedroom, and when we're married, it will be yours as well. I've made some minor adjustments to it, for you, because, well, I know it'll be different, living here, and I just want you to be as comfortable as possible, and I've had a bed installed in the dressing room, and I've had the room redecorated, and a more suitable dresser put in here for you, and I'll be moving my things out of here and into there when you move in…" he trailed off, running out of breath, unable to read her expression. She moved towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his cheek before pulling back and looking deeply into his eyes as his hands slid to her waist.

"Thank you," she leaned in to kiss him. She hadn't even thought about the fact that she would be moving to a new house once she was married. But Matthew had. She didn't think she could have loved him any more than she did at that moment.

"There's still more my darling," he took her hand and led her back downstairs. "I've also had a new chair put into the study, just in case…I mean you wouldn't have to, but I just thought you might like somewhere to read…and if I'm working in there, well we'd still get to spend time together," he blushed and dropped his head. When he'd explained it to everyone else, it hadn't sounded so…romantic. Not that he was embarrassed by what he'd done, he just… He didn't know.

Mary didn't dare to speak, feeling so overcome with emotion that she was certain words would not do justice to what she felt at that moment. Instead, she squeezed his hand and stood on her tiptoes and pressed another kiss to his cheek, hoping that that would be enough.

"There's one more thing… We have a new member of the household staff who'll be joining us after the wedding…" they were back outside the dining room, he slowly opened the door and stood back, letting her see for herself. Stood in the middle of the room was…Anna, who smiled and bobbed her head.

"Matthew…what-" she glanced at him before looking back to Anna, who was beaming at them both.

"Anna has been training Ellen for a few weeks, and will continue to do so until the wedding, and then they'll swap."

"What about Papa? What does he say about all of this?" She didn't know why that was the first thing she thought of. It was all far, _far_, too much.

"He helped. He was very obliging. He even donated the dresser, from your room in the London house I believe," she spun to face him properly and, not caring that Anna was there, flung herself at him and buried her face into his shoulder. "Happy birthday darling," his hands settled on her back, keeping her close to him. "You didn't think the book was all I'd got you did you?"

Her stomach rumbled before she could answer, and they both laughed. "Well, yes I suppose I did. Now can I please eat?"

"Not just yet. We have to do something else first. Anna?" She stepped forwards, holding the same scarf that had been removed not that long ago.

"Not again. Oh for goodness sake Matthew, is this really necessary?" Everything went dark as the scarf was tied around her face for a second time.

"Yes I'm afraid so," he chuckled as she sighed loudly.

"I hope you realise you are going to pay for this dear," he laughed again as he led her back…outside, the air was cooler and fresher than inside. She was back in the car, Matthew maintaining his grip on her hand. He was glad she couldn't see. So far, everything had gone exactly as he'd hoped. Well so it should…he'd meticulously planned every detail, thought of every possible scenario. She would forgive him. He wasn't quite sure why he had to keep reassuring himself of that.

The car stopped and she turned her head towards the door that opened.

"Aren't we getting out?"

"No, not yet." He squeezed her hand before bringing it up to his lips in a sudden surge of affection. Three months down, three months to go.

"What time is it?" She was so disorientated. She hadn't known the time since leaving Ripon with Edith. Edith. Where had she gone after leaving Mary's side at Crawley House? And Anna? Mary knew now that whatever was going on, Matthew was behind it all. She sighed again, the temporary blindness starting to annoy her.

"Twenty-past five. It's alright, we'll be there soon. I promise." He kissed her cheek and leaned back in the seat, his heart pounding in his chest. This was where it could all go so very, very wrong. After ten minutes they stopped again, and Matthew slid out of the car first, careful to stay on the mats that had been laid out on the gravel. He helped her out, wrapping one arm around her waist and keeping her other hand in his, guiding her from behind. He smiled and nodded as they walked through, exuding a calm that he certainly didn't feel.

"Matthew?" Her voice was nervous. Of course, he hadn't left her, but she needed to know he was there anyway.

"I'm here Mary," he squeezed her hand to reassure her of his presence. They stopped and he took a deep breath, slowly puling his hands from her and reaching to the back of her head. "Forgive me," he murmured into her ear as he untied the scarf.

Forgive him? What for? What had he done? She felt it release and then…

"SURPRISE!" Mary flinched as the crowd shouted at her and automatically turned to go, but found that Matthew was stood right behind her.

"I'm sorry darling," he grinned, not sorry at all. He gently turned her back around and urged her forwards. She looked round their surroundings…they were in the hall at home. It had been decorated with flowers and streamers and…lord was that bunting? It looked like a fete. On a table to the left was a pile of presents, and to the right was the food, including a large cake that was covered in strawberries and cream. She looked back to the guests…everyone was there…her parents, Edith (how…? She'd ask her later), Granny, Isobel…Aunt Rosamund, all of the servants… She understood why he wanted her forgiveness. How could he even think he needed it though? He had done all of this, and everything at Crawley House as well, for her. She honestly didn't know whether she would laugh or cry. She turned to look at him and was given a smile that was so full of love and affection that, despite her shock, she couldn't help but return.

Everyone watched her relax as the initial shock wore off, some music started playing and Mary moved through the party, thanking people for coming, finally getting something to eat, dancing, but all the while being aware of Matthew keeping relatively close to her. They sang happy birthday around her as she blew out the candles on the cake (her favourite she noticed), and cheered when she cut the first slice, laughing as she handed it to an eager Matthew, before letting Mrs Patmore take over.

And then it was time for the presents, and Mary was filled with the same sense of dread that had filled her that morning – already that felt like another world away – as she was sat down in the chair in the centre of the room to unwrap the gifts that her mother handed to her.

A rather nice new hat. A pretty summer dress. Some lace gloves. A parasol. A new travelling case. A book about Italy. Mary was becoming more confused with each present. As lovely as they were, they didn't make sense. Finally, everything was unwrapped. There had been some more summer clothes, even some light coloured-shoes, some more books about Europe…things that implied a holiday. Except she knew that she wasn't going anywhere…or was she? Her mind was racing now, desperately trying to connect all of this to...something… Then Matthew stepped forwards holding an envelope, she met his gaze and their eyes locked. Everyone else took a step back and left him to it, giving them a moment. He knelt beside her as he passed it to her, hoping she wouldn't notice his slightly trembling hands…

"Matthew, what is it?"

"Your real present. I wasn't sure what to get you at first, and then I had an idea, and everything else came from that," she stared at him for a moment before carefully opening the thick envelope and pulling out the papers inside. His heart stopped as she read it and then looked at what she held in her other hand. He felt almost sick with anticipation, even though it seemed like she had enjoyed the party so far...

"A honeymoon?" She spoke so quietly that he would not have heard if he had not been so close. "You've got me a honeymoon? For my birthday?" She looked back to him, incredulous. He nodded and smiled.

It was_ all too_ _much_. She stood and hurried into the library, muttering 'excuse me' as she pushed through people, the papers still clutched in her hands. Robert looked at Matthew who was frozen to the spot, utterly confused. It had been going so well. He stood and rushed after her.

She stood facing the fireplace, taking deep breaths to calm herself and wiping her eyes, the overdue tears spilling down her face. He'd follow. She knew he would. After a minute, she heard his footsteps crossing the room.

"Mary? I'm sorry. If you don't like it, I can get you something else. I just thought…" he reached her and she turned to face him, his heart breaking when he saw that she was crying. "Mary, please, I'm so so sorry-"

She put a finger on his lip, eyes searching his, "stop. Please don't be sorry. It's…it's the best present that I've ever had. Truthfully, it's been the best birthday I've ever had. So thank you," she leaned in and kissed him softly. "I don't know what I've done to deserve you Matthew, but I...I can't wait to be your wife!"

He grinned and wrapped his arms round her waist and pulling her towards him in a deep and passionate kiss, the pieces of paper fluttering to the floor as she slid her hands into his hair, returning the kiss with just as much passion.

* * *

><p><em>AN: For those that don't know, potcheen (also spelt poteen and poitin) is Irish moonshine, and it is LETHAL. Imagine drinking white spirit/paint stripper and that is pretty much the experience. It can reach an ABV of __**up to 90%**__. Ouch.  
><em>

_Also, I know I'm taking massive liberties with Mary's birthday, and basically just making stuff up to suit my story, but no-one has ever had a birthday. In __**8 years**__! We've only been given a vague indication to Sybil's back in S1 when it was coming up for her first season but that's been about it!  
><em>

_Anyway, chapter 7: Chocolate! Easter! Bunnies, and erm…hot cross buns, oh and a surprise arrival…_


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you all for continuing to read this, review it, alert it, favourite it, ask me about it, etc…I really do appreciate all of your support…thank you!_

_A/N: I am rubbish at updating regularly. I know this, and for that I am truly sorry! But I really struggled with this chapter, more than any of the others, even though it's a relatively short one. It became the petulant toddler that was refusing to do anything, or would only do the opposite of what I wanted, but then it spent some time on the naughty step and started to behave. That aside, everything else is pretty much planned or partly written so those will appear much more quickly!_

_Anyway, we've now reached April and May. We start off on Easter Saturday and an Easter egg hunt…_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

_Saturday 3__rd__ April_

The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue sky, the gentle breeze was fluttering against hair and skirts, and in the distance the new lambs could be heard as they frolicked around their field. In short, it was the perfect day for an egg hunt.

"…and no cheating!" Robert turned and smiled at his two daughters.

"Why are you looking at us Papa? We would never do such a thing!" Mary smiled back and Edith giggled. He raised his eyebrows and turned back to the crowd gathered on the lawn.

"And on that note, the best of luck to you all!" There was a round of applause and then squealing as all of the children ran off in every possible direction. Robert walked over to where Mary and Edith were stood with Matthew and Doctor Taylor. "It's so nice to be able to do this again," he beamed.

"Again?" Doctor Taylor looked between them confused.

"We used to do it before the war, as well as a few other things for the people of the village. But things change," the men all nodded in a sad agreement. "I'm sure little Alfie will have a lot of fun with it though!" Robert straightened up and smiled at the doctor, before turning back to Mary and Edith, "I need to go and find your Mama now. And I meant what I said…no cheating!" They all laughed as he walked off.

"Come on Matthew, you can take me for a walk around the grounds," she smiled at Edith before offering her arm to her fiancé.

"What did he mean about the cheating?" He asked once they had been walking for a few minutes. She quickly glanced at him and smiled.

"When we were younger, Carson used to tell us where some of the eggs were hidden. But then Papa found out, and we weren't allowed to join in after that!" Matthew chuckled.

"And I suppose you were the ringleader in all of this?" He raised his eyebrow and smirked at her. She shrugged and smiled mischievously.

"I'm not saying anything," she patted his arm, then turned and stole a quick glance behind them. Matthew followed her gaze.

"And what of Edith and the doctor?" Mary looked at her sister again, who was chatting animatedly with Doctor Taylor.

"Well, you can hardly talk to someone properly when your sister and her fiancé are glued to your side."

"What about Mr Napier?"

"The less said about _that_, the better," he looked at her, waiting for her to elaborate, but she didn't.

"Is he still coming to the wedding?"

"I don't know at the moment," she shrugged again, meeting his gaze with a smile. They were momentarily lost in each other…so funny how often that happened these days…so lost that they didn't notice the three children racing towards them shrieking…until one crashed right into Mary, causing her to stumble backwards.

"Oh!" Matthew quickly grabbed her arm and steadied her, and they both turned to look at the dark-haired boy who was now picking up some brightly coloured eggs that had scattered around their feet, apparently already having a very successful afternoon.

"I'm s…s…sorry Lady…M…Mary," he stammered. Both Mary and Matthew stooped to help him, placing them carefully in the basket. "Have you seen my papa?"

"Yes, he's just over there with Lady Edith. Are you having fun Alfie?" Matthew smiled kindly at the boy, who looked up, wide-eyed in shock and embarrassment. They all stood up and Mary handed the basket back to the young boy.

"Y…yes thank you. Excuse me," he smiled shyly and ran off to his father, who greeted him with open arms. Mary sighed as she watched after him, an almost wistful look on her face, something that was not unnoticed by Matthew. They resumed their walk, and quite unconsciously headed towards a familiar bench.

They sat and watched as children ran around…older siblings either dragging along or trying to shake off their siblings, younger children giving up and searching for their parents or squabbling with others over who was the first to find an egg. Even more amusing were the adults, who were being overly enthusiastic as brightly coloured eggs were pushed in their faces while they tried to enjoy their tea and hot cross buns and chocolates. Matthew smiled as he remembered Mary's fond gaze at the doctor's son, and he reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Would you like to have children? When we're married?" She looked at him in surprise, her eyes flashed in panic, quickly searching his. It was the first time that either of them had alluded to the future beyond their wedding and honeymoon, but she quickly recovered.

"Darling, we hardly have a choice in the matter. It's what is…expected. You're the heir. I have to produce the next heir. It's not a case of want, it's a case of when," she had meant it to sound light, teasing, but her voice faltered, betraying her, making it sound like it was already a lost battle. His face dropped, and she realised that that was not the answer he had been expecting. "But darling, know that I would very much like to have _your_ children. Very much," her eyes drifted unconsciously to his mouth and he licked his lips, his own gaze mirroring her path. He leaned in and kissed her softly, chastely, for there were far too many people around for anything more.

"I think that you'll make a wonderful father," she smiled, her cheeks a little pink from the feelings he had roused within her with his kiss, the idea of him as _Papa_ also making her giddy, but in a new way entirely.

"And you will be an excellent mother," he replied, images of them pushing a pram together and rocking a tiny baby to sleep suddenly flashing through his mind, as she nodded in acknowledgement, her cheeks colouring a little more, and they drifted back into silence, both of them imagining a life with a Baby Crawley. It was a very pleasant thought indeed and one they dwelled on for several minutes.

"What if we don't have a boy?" He spoke suddenly, but quietly. "What will your father do?"

"Papa would love any child dearly, whether it was a boy or a girl. And if he complained, then I think that my mother and grandmother, and even your mother, would have something to say to him about it!" He chuckled, she was right of course. The Crawley women would never let Robert be annoyed about the birth of _any_ child. He truly was a good man though, and Mary was lucky to have him as a father. He was lucky to have him as a…well, father in law-to-be he supposed. But it wasn't the same… And with that, a single thought occurred to Matthew, something that had kept creeping into his mind, almost begging for attention, and each time he had quashed it, ignored it, but now it seemed…appropriate.

He licked his lips, unsure of where to begin. "Mary, I was wondering if I could ask you something?" He looked at her and she nodded, a curious expression on her face. "I was thinking that…well, it might be nice for us to go to Manchester for a trip, even just a day there would suffice. We don't have to go now, we can wait until…after the wedding."

"A day trip, how lovely," her face lit up at the prospect of a day out with him. "Why Manchester especially?" He frowned and squeezed her hand.

"I'd like…I'd like to take you to where my father is buried," he swallowed thickly as a surge of emotion flooded him. It had been so long… He shook his head, as if trying to rid himself of something. "If you don't want to then I perfectly understand of course, but I just…it would mean a great deal if you did. So, will you?" he fixed his gaze on their entwined fingers, suddenly feeling afraid of her answer. If she didn't want to go he couldn't press her, but he hoped she would understand just how important this was to him. Tears prickled in her eyes at the catch in his voice and she brought her free hand to cover their joined hands.

"Matthew, of course I'll go with you. I'd like to," he nodded and looked up, blue eyes meeting brown, letting himself get lost in her beauty once more.

"You must miss him terribly," she offered her statement tentatively, painfully aware that it had been years since he had last spoken of his father at length. He nodded, staring out across the lawn.

"I do, sometimes, but then there are times when I don't miss him at all, which makes me feel quite guilty" he flashed her a brief, sad smile. Mary was suddenly filled with sadness for the man sat next to her, having to grow up so quickly, and having to look after Isobel but also still needing to depend on her. It was at that moment that Mary realised just how very fortunate she had been, and still was, with two parents and two sisters for her to depend on.

"You have nothing to feel guilty for. A wise person once wrote 'better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.' I think that's true," she smiled gently, desperately hoping that she was helping. She shifted closer to him, shivering at the closer proximity, even though it was unseasonably warm. She was still looking deeply into his eyes. "Another wise person once said, not that long ago, that whatever else, you still have me. You'll always have me," she raised her eyebrow and smiled a little more broadly.

"This person sounds very wise," he smiled back, a hint of mischief in his expression.

"Oh yes, he is. I'd love for you to meet him sometime," her lips quirked, trying to prevent a giggle from escaping, her eyes sparkling as he leaned in to kiss her again, their noses almost touching…

A loud shriek startled them and they sprang apart as a group of children ran past them, reminding them where they were. They laughed and Mary rested her head on Matthew's shoulder, nestling closer as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, both slipping back into their own thoughts.

"Was he disappointed that you didn't want to be a doctor, your father I mean?" She thought it was a safe topic now. She glanced sideways and saw the brief smile that lit up his features.

"No. He and mother said that as long as I was happy, that was the most important thing. My grandfather on the other hand… Well he couldn't understand my fascination with the law, but it wasn't up to him," she could tell he was smiling. "And I told him so once." He said it so gleefully that she straightened and turned to face him, a large grin spreading across his face.

"Matthew Crawley, I am shocked. Do you mean to tell me that you were once _rude_, and to one of your elders no less?" She grinned back at him.

"Yes. Only the once though. I was sixteen and I thought I knew it all," he raised his eyebrows at her.

"You mean you don't?" She retorted quickly, old habits dying hard, and they smiled, both feeling perfectly happy and content with each other as they sat in the bright dappled sunlight and the warm gentle breeze.

* * *

><p><em>Saturday 22<em>_nd__ May_

"Darling! Look at you!" Sybil rolled her eyes but accepted her mother's embrace with a smile, before moving to her sisters and hugging them. Robert smiled and hesitated for only a second before wrapping his arms around his youngest daughter. He pulled back and smiled at her, before looking over her head and nodding at Tom, frowning curiously as his…son-in-law and Matthew then greeted each other as old friends, an almost secret, shy smile passing between them.

"When is the baby due?" Robert spoke first after they had all seated themselves in the library for afternoon tea, earning himself a warm smile from Cora. He knew the answer, of course, but it was the best he could come up with to start the conversation. But he was on his best behaviour. He'd promised.

"In four days," Sybil frowned, rubbing her stomach, clearly agitated. "I just wish it would hurry up now."

"Oh my dear, baby will come when baby is ready," Cora was practically bubbling with giddy excitement over her first grandchild, chatting away with Sybil, or rather _at_ Sybil, about many things relating to pregnancy that the others stopped listening to.

The afternoon passed quickly, Sybil and Tom regaling them with tales of life in Dublin, until the dressing gong sounded through the house and it was time to change for dinner.

It was after the soup that Sybil started to feel unwell; everything was aching and she felt quite sick. She went to her room, requesting Anna to help her change, telling Tom not to worry, that it was probably nothing. Anna arrived at Lady Sybil's room to find her bending over the bed, clutching her stomach and biting back a scream. It was time. Doctor Taylor was immediately called and the house stirred into action.

Anna, Edith, Mary and Cora all stayed with Sybil until the doctor and his nurse told them that there were too many people. The library door opened and the three men stood, smiling as Edith and Mary appeared. Tom was pacing. Matthew and Mary started a game of chess, watched by Edith. Isobel and Violet were discussing the wedding, and Robert was reading. It dragged on, and on, and on. Hours passed. They hadn't managed to finish their dinner so Carson and Mrs Hughes had some sandwiches prepared for them all. Eventually, one by one, they began to tire. Isobel left with Violet, accepting Matthew's answer that he would walk home later. The game of chess was abandoned, reading materials were discarded, and they all just sat. And waited…

"It's a girl!" They all jumped up as Anna burst into the room excitedly. "You can go up in a minute, they're just cleaning her up," she bobbed her head and left the room again. Tom was vaguely aware of both Robert and Matthew grasping his hands and shaking them warmly, large grins plastered across their faces. Edith and Mary kissed him on the cheek, and they all headed up the stairs to meet the newest member of the family.

* * *

><p>It was four days later when Mary gasped in shock as she read the newspaper at breakfast time.<p>

"Mary, what is it?" Edith looked at her sister in concern. They were all thinking the same thing. Every day, they all checked the various newspapers, looking for…anything, but as yet there had been no mention made of any of it.

"Lord and Lady Grantham, of Downton Abbey, Yorkshire, are delighted to announce the birth of their first grandchild, Erin Margaret Branson, daughter to Mr and Mrs Thomas Branson. At this time, they also announce the engagement of their eldest daughter, Lady Mary Josephine Crawley to Mr Matthew Arthur Crawley, son of Doctor (deceased) and Mrs Reginald Crawley. They will be married in June. Papa, did you do this?"

"Your mama executed it, but it was my idea," he smiled kindly at his daughter. "We had to announce it sometime Mary, and with the birth of Erin it seemed like as good a time as any!" Her expression softened and she nodded, reading over the words again. She wasn't annoyed, quite the opposite in fact. How strange it was to see it in black and white though, after all of this time. She was getting married to Mr Matthew Arthur Crawley in a little over two weeks; she smiled, knowing that he would have already seen the papers that morning. She quickly scanned through the rest of the newspaper, looking for any indication, any sign, that her world was to be crushed, but still there was nothing. It didn't make sense. Not that she was going to complain: she was getting married to Matthew, _Matthew_, in sixteen days, she had a niece that she adored so completely, her father had even been getting along with Tom before he'd had to travel back to Ireland. Just for a change, everyone was happy and excited, and everything was going well. No, Mary thought to herself as she took a sip of her tea, re-reading the announcement for the third time, she really had no reason to complain at all.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for reading!<em>

_A/N: Yes I've invented a history again, but there is so little to work with, so just go with it and enjoy the ride! And yes I lied about there being bunnies; that was just a ruse._

_Also, Mary is quoting from Christina Rossetti's poem 'Remember', which is one of my absolute favourite poems of all time, and is just beautiful, so you should all go and read it!_

_**Chapter 8**: "Going to the chapel, and they're going to get married…"_


	8. Chapter 8

_Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments about the last chapter, you're all darlings! And thank you for reading, alerting, adding to favourites, etc…you have no idea how much I appreciate all of your support! Also, a HUGE thank you to __thatramblingmind __who helped me a lot with this chapter!_

_Well, we've reached June, and that can only mean one thing…_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

_Saturday 5__th__ June_

"I've invited Matthew and Cousin Isobel to join us for tea," Violet spoke nonchalantly, ignoring Mary's arched eyebrows.

"Oh, and why is that?"

"Am I not allowed to invite them for tea? Really Mary, you're so suspicious," Violet deflected with her own raised eyebrow.

Mary watched her grandmother in a sort of fascinated disbelief, but she was giving nothing away, because of course she was up to something. It was Granny after all. Before Mary could inquire further, Matthew and Isobel were shown into the room; Matthew looking equally perplexed as the older women shared a look.

"Sit down Matthew, there's no need to stand on ceremony," he nodded and sat next to Mary, accepting the cup and saucer offered to him by Violet's butler. "No doubt you're wondering why we wanted to see you together, away from the others." They looked uncertainly at each other before turning back to Violet and nodding.

"Cousin Violet and I have been talking, and we have agreed that I shall come and stay with her for a while," Isobel relayed the information calmly, as if it were the most natural idea in the world, and took a sip of her tea.

Mary blinked in surprise, glancing at her grandmother before she returned to look quizzically at her fiancé's mother. "But why? I hope you don't think that I want you to leave; Crawley House is your home!" Mary exclaimed, a part of her wondering if she had already done something to offend Isobel, for she could think of no other reason for such a drastic action.

"No, it's nothing like that," Isobel smiled kindly at her daughter-in-law to be; almost unrecognisable as the woman she had first met all those years ago. In Matthew's presence and with the openness and security of his love, Mary lit up and shone, and didn't seem to be able to stop smiling. And the change in her son! Well, he too couldn't stop smiling, and sometimes he looked at his fiancée in such awe, as if he _still_ couldn't quite believe that she wanted _him_, that she had accepted _him_, and that she loved _him_ just as much, just as fiercely, as he loved her. They were both just _so happy_. She quickly glanced at Violet, who nodded once, and cleared her throat. "It's not permanent. It would just be before you go to Italy, and then for a little while when you return. About a month or so."

The tone she used and the knowing expression on her face left no room for misinterpretation and Mary caught on immediately. Feeling the colour rise up her face, Mary dropped her gaze and drank some of her tea. Matthew, however, was apparently oblivious.

"Is that wise, given your history?" He directed the question to his mother with a wry smile, addressing only the first part of what Isobel had said, being too distracted by the small cakes the butler offered him to hear the second part.

"What are you trying to suggest Matthew? That Cousin Violet and I do not get along?" He shifted uncomfortably under his mother's gaze, feeling like a small boy who was in trouble and not wanting to say anything that would offend either woman, however true his words might be.

"No, no, of course not. It's just…" he stumbled over his words, but quickly recovered. "I'm afraid I still don't quite understand Mother." The three women bit back their smiles, wondering how long it would take him to catch up.

"We just thought that you might like to have the house to yourselves for a bit."

"But why exactly?" He frowned, and Isobel sighed. For someone so clever, her son could sometimes be very stupid.

"Because Matthew, where there are newly-weds, it is best to have as few people around as possible." She looked at him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He stared at her for a moment; then blinked as if some fog had lifted from his thoughts.

"Oh. Oh! Yes, well…" he frowned and stammered and coughed and blushed furiously, wishing, so very desperately, that he could leave. "That's very…thoughtful of you - of both of you," he kept his head down and tried to block out the images that were now flashing through his mind. Next to him, he felt Mary shake uncontrollably as she tried to suppress her laughter, her gaze fixed on the cup that she was resting on her lap. He coughed again and took another sip of tea, ignoring the fact that it was far too hot and far too sweet. The two older women smiled at each other as the young couple drank their tea and stared at the floor in silence, Mary's shoulders still shaking with unreleased laughter.

* * *

><p><em>Monday 7<em>_th__ June_

The knock on the door startled him and Matthew's head shot up, smiling as Edward appeared carrying two brown paper bags and two bottles of ginger beer.

"Catherine brought us some sandwiches," Edward returned the smile, and passed one lot over to his friend and taking the seat opposite, both silent for a moment as they unwrapped and examined their food. "And so the countdown begins. Are you nervous?"

"Not really, am I supposed to be?" Matthew chewed thoughtfully for a moment. He hadn't been feeling nervous though; he'd been too busy focussing on all of the work he had to finish before he took so much time off. If anything, he felt excited. But now that Edward had mentioned it, he could definitely feel the familiar fluttering of nerves in his stomach.

"Yes. Except that I wasn't talking about the day itself," Edward raised his eyebrows and grinned.

"Oh?" Matthew swallowed, already sensing where this might be going, his neutral expression slipping.

"No I was referring to Saturday night," he smile grew even larger as Matthew flushed; his meaning as clear as glass.

"Oh." Matthew took a bite of his sandwich and looked down.

"Yes. Are you nervous?"

"Edward, this is not a conversation that I want to have," he used his most stern voice, hoping that his friend would take the hint.

"I'll take that as a yes then!" He was still grinning, taking far too much delight in teasing his friend. "You can tell me Matthew, you know I won't say anything."

"I'm serious Edward. I don't want to talk about this."

"Why? Who else is there? I am your best man after all."

Matthew sighed, relenting, "Alright fine. Yes. A bit."

"So…have you ever…?"

"No!" Matthew looked horrified at the question and felt heat flood his face. "No. I haven't," he swallowed thickly. Edward really had no shame in asking about anything, however inappropriate.

"Not even in France?" Neither of them spoke of the war. It had happened, they had survived, that was all there was to it for them. But Edward's question brought some repressed memories to the front of Matthew's mind. He knew what he meant…trips to the backstreets of Paris on the journey to or from the front, taken by so many men, married and unmarried alike. It had never even occurred to Matthew though. He had been there to fight, nothing more.

"No. I couldn't…I didn't want to." He frowned and shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts that now filled his mind, thoughts that he would much rather forget permanently.

"There's no need to be nervous though, Lady Mary is in the same position, so to speak," he smirked at his own joke, but it disappeared as Matthew's face dropped, his mouth set into a hard line, and something unrecognisable flashed in his eyes. "Matthew?"

Matthew looked up, meeting a green-eyed gaze that was filled with concern. Edward wouldn't say anything, he wouldn't even judge, but it was not Matthew's tale to tell. "It…doesn't matter," he shook his head, and spoke slowly and deliberately, hoping that the other man would recognise the end of that particular line of questioning. Edward nodded once in understanding, and they continued with their lunch in silence for a few minutes.

"What about Carlisle?" Matthew's head shot up again, his stomach churning at the mere mention of that man. Since the servant's ball, Carlisle and his threat to ruin the family had not been mentioned by anyone, but Matthew knew that Mary checked the newspapers daily, just as she knew that he did the same.

"What about him?"

"Do you think he could have…had his wicked way with her?" Matthew searched his friend's face for any sign of teasing, but Edward was deadly serious. The words pierced Matthew's heart. The very thought of it… He shook his head and swallowed.

"No. She would have told me," he replied with a degree of certainty that he definitely did not feel at that moment, doubting himself before the words had even finished forming. Would Mary have told him if she and Carlisle had…done _that_? Yes she would, he decided, because surely she wouldn't have accepted him if she had. After all, she wouldn't marry him without telling him the truth about…Pamuk. Oh how it pained him to even think of that. More than all of that though, if Mary had been…_intimate_ with Carlisle, he definitely would never have let her go.

The two men finished their lunch in silence and Edward left with a smile and nod, sensing that he had, for once, said something that had perhaps gone too far.

As much as Matthew tried to concentrate on his work for the rest of the day, he couldn't, for his mind kept drifting uneasily to Edward's suggestion. Mary definitely would have told him if they had, which they must not have done. He lost count of how many times he repeated this to himself, suddenly feeling rather sick and full of a new, pressured anxiety about the fact that for the second time in a few days, his wedding night and all that it entailed was the main topic of conversation.

* * *

><p><em>Monday evening<em>

"Excuse me Lady Mary, but Mr Crawley is here to see you," Carson appeared in the drawing room and nodded towards her.

"Well send him in then Carson," Robert interrupted loudly, his smile almost splitting his face, his excitement for the wedding threatening to bubble over.

"He has requested to speak with Lady Mary privately my lord," Carson informed them. Mary stood and smiled fondly at her father, before following the butler.

"Is he in the library Carson?"

"No milady, he's outside. He said you'd know where to find him," Mary frowned for a second before recovering as she followed Carson, who held the front door open for her.

"Thank you Carson," she smiled as she stepped out into the warm evening, the sky having adopted the dusty pink hue of a mid-summer sunset. It didn't take long to find him, but she walked slowly, enjoying the very gentle breeze and the scent of roses and honeysuckle that filled the air. Matthew was sitting forwards, elbows resting on his knees, and staring intently at the ground.

He looked up as she silently approached, sensing her presence. Her head was tilted to the side, her lips curved into the gentlest of smiles, which became broader when she caught his gaze. She was so beautiful, _so beautiful_, that he ached just looking at her. He stood as she approached, reaching for her gloved hands.

"Hello. I wasn't expecting to see you tonight," she leaned in and kissed him deeply, knowing that they were alone, for a few minutes at least anyway. She pulled her hands free to rest them on his shoulders as his automatically moved to her waist. He smiled and kissed her again before pulling back and casting an appreciative glance over her cream evening dress.

"Can I expect to see something similar on Saturday?" He raised his eyebrows mischievously, before bending his head and kissing her cheek.

"Now that would be telling!" She smiled as his lips found their way to her neck. "It's bad luck for you to know about the dress beforehand!"

"I'm sure that whatever you wear, you are going to look beautiful," he murmured against her skin, clutching her a little more tightly than before. She sighed and leaned into his embrace, her hands sliding to his neck, fingertips just brushing into his hair. His mouth met hers again, and he kissed her with a new intensity, both holding each other tightly, soft gasps and moans filling the quiet air. The lingering kisses and gentle caresses they had been allowing themselves had started to build a dizzying need for the other that was only becoming more desperate as the wedding drew closer.

Matthew's hands stroked up and down her back, causing her to shiver and sigh and press herself even closer to him, her hands now fully twisting in his hair. But something wasn't right. Oh he was enjoying it, but his thoughts were still racing. Normally the feel of her lips against his, of her arms wrapped around him, would send his mind completely blank. But not tonight. The thoughts…the one thought in particular…that he had spent all day trying to ignore were pushing through the hazy, wondrous sensation of Mary pressed against him, and he froze. She pulled away, concern filling her dark eyes.

"Matthew, are you alright?"

"Can I ask you something?" He reached for her hands.

"Of course." He glanced up, licked his lips, brought his gaze back to meet hers, and took a deep breath. His silence unnerving her, she spoke again, "Matthew, what is it?"

"Did you…did Carlisle ever…were you and he ever…intimate?" He felt sick to his stomach. He didn't want to know. And yet at the same time…

Her mouth dropped open, her eyes wide in horror. "No. How could you even think that? Would it change anything if…if I had been?" She pulled her hands free and stepped back.

"I just…" he trailed off, not knowing how to justify his query. But he needed to, the hurt that was written across her face was making his heart ache. He closed his eyes again; anything he said now was surely only going to make things worse. "No, it wouldn't change anything."

"Then _why_?" She frowned; utterly confused as to where this had come from. He sighed; he had to tell her the truth.

"I…don't want to disappoint you. On Saturday," he reached for her hands again, feeling a flash of relief when she didn't pull away.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to disappoint you on Saturday _night_, or ever, as your husband," he bit his lip, hoping she wouldn't make him spell it out. She watched him intently for a moment…and then recognition flashed in her eyes.

"Darling, of course you won't," she smiled, but he knew that she still hadn't quite understood his meaning.

"How can you be certain though? I might prove to be a…terrible disappointment," he felt his cheeks flush. He had wanted to avoid such a discussion for as long as possible, but the conversation with Violet and his mother, as well as the one with Edward, had kept the issue at the front of his mind.

"Matthew, I don't understand. What-"

"I mean that you have…and I…well I haven't have I?" he interrupted loudly.

It was like being slapped. She gasped and flinched, taking another step back, pulling her hands free once more. In six months, he had never mentioned _that_, had never even alluded to it. Not forgiven, not forgotten.

"That doesn't matter to me Matthew, I thought you knew that," the words, though reassuring in nature, were spoken in a cold voice. He looked at her, and he just _knew_ that she had put the walls up.

"Well it matters to me!" He practically shouted, unable to stop the irritation that bubbled through him. He regretted it instantly. It had come out louder, more bitter, than he had intended.

"I see." She took another step back, putting on the mask that she had worn for years. That was, after all, something that she was an expert in. Her voice was like ice. Her heart felt like it was shattering.

"Mary, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"I think Matthew that it would be wise if you left now before something is said that one, or both, of us will regret in the morning. I'm going back to the house, excuse me." She turned and started walking away, feeling like she couldn't breathe. She knew it had been too good to be true. Of course it was. She was happy so something had to go wrong.

A hand closed around her wrist and she stopped, bowing her head as his arms wrapped around her, and his lips brushed her ear.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Please," he held her close, pressing soft kisses to her neck, his eyes squeezed shut. "Mary, please…" he turned her slowly and saw that her eyes were red with unshed tears.

"After all of this time, after everything, how can you think that…what happened is anything like what we share? Because it's not. Not at all," she whispered, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek, meeting his gaze. "And Saturday is going to be special for us both Matthew, because it's _you_. And I love you," she smiled, small and brief, but he returned it, his heart soaring as she spoke those three little words. He knew she did, but she so rarely said it. It was almost as if she was still so guarded with her feelings that she was afraid of voicing them too often, in case everything shattered around her. He nodded, resting his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you." He felt her nod, so he tilted his head and pressed his lips lightly to hers, waiting only a fraction of a second before she responded, their mouths opening to each other; tongues meeting, tasting, exploring, both of them groaning in pleasure. How long they stayed like that, they didn't know, but eventually Mary shivered, the night air having cooled considerably. They pulled apart, breathless and smiling weakly. He slipped his arm around her shoulder as he walked her back to the house, holding her close to him.

They said goodnight and she watched him walk up the drive, wondering if he was still worrying, before she closed the door on his retreating back.

His head was spinning and not in a good way. Despite Mary's reassurances, he still felt like something wasn't quite right. Perhaps he just needed a good night's sleep. It had been a while since he had slept properly. Yes that must be it. He'd get Molesley to fix him a nightcap when he got home, and tomorrow everything would be alright again.

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday 9<em>_th__ June_

It was mid-morning and the two younger Crawley sisters were talking quietly in the nursery as Edith rocked her niece to sleep with gentle encouragement from Sybil.

"Excuse me my ladies, but you're wanted in the library," Mrs Hughes appeared in the doorway of the nursery, casting a fond smile to the small bundle in Lady Edith's arms.

"What is it Mrs Hughes?"

"There's a lady to see you, a Mrs Wallace. She says she is the wife of an associate of Mr Crawley's. I'll tell her you'll be down shortly," she smiled and nodded before leaving them.

"Wallace? Isn't Edward Wallace Matthew's best man? Haven't you met them?" Sybil turned to her sister as they carefully made their way down the stairs.

"Yes he is. And I have met them, but only the once though, when Papa held the engagement dinner back in April. I wonder what she wants, unless she doesn't know that Mary is out," Edith frowned as they entered the library, pausing to hand Erin back to her mother, before turning to the woman who was waiting in the middle of the room. "Mrs Wallace, I do hope we haven't kept you waiting long, but I feel I should tell you that Mary has gone into York for the day," Edith smiled, assuming such was the reason for the unexpected visit.

"No, not at all Lady Edith," she paused for a moment. "But it wasn't Lady Mary that I came to see. I hope you don't mind me coming to see you like this, unannounced and uninvited, but I have quite a delicate matter to discuss with you." At that moment, the new footman entered carrying a tray of tea, surprised to find the three women still standing in the middle of the room.

"Oh, thank you…James. We will serve ourselves, though," Edith nodded at the young man, who bowed his head and left. They sat and Edith poured the tea, while Mrs Wallace cooed over baby Erin, her own small bump just visible against the linen of her dress.

"You said there was something that you wanted to discuss?" Edith smiled as she handed the cup to the auburn-haired woman.

"Yes, that," Catherine Wallace's grey eyes looked between the two sisters and she took a deep breath, her fingers tapping gently against the cup. She really didn't want to do this, but Edward had insisted. "It's about Matthew." They both looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't.

"What about him?" Sybil's voice was low and serious, and unconsciously, she clutched Erin closer to her. Both Sybil and Edith held their breath. There was something about Mrs Wallace's countenance that didn't seem quite right…

"Well, the thing is that…he's gone missing."

* * *

><p><em>Cue dramatic cliff-hanger music.<em>

_Oops, I appear to have lulled you into a false sense of security.  
><em>

_But where has Matthew gone? And Mary doesn't know? Or does she? Is she really in York? Are these actual spoilers or am I just toying with you? Aaaahhhh!  
><em>

_(And now I retreat into a safe hiding place away from the inevitable lynching, at least until the next installment anyway!)_

_**Chapter 9**__: Find that groom!_


	9. Chapter 9

_I am sorry for the cliff-hanger. (I'm really not that sorry though!) It was essential to the story. That is my defence and I'm sticking to it!_

_Thank you for all of your continued support, it really does mean a lot! Special thanks to __tumblindownton__, for letting me bounce a few ideas at her. Even more special thanks to __thatramblingmind__, again, for all of her support._

_Without further ado…_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

"_Well, the thing is that…he's gone missing."_

Missing.

The word hung in air, and rang in their ears, and raced through their minds; the two sisters unable to mask their shock. Suddenly they were, very briefly, back in 1918. The silence was deafening and Catherine looked anxiously between the other two women as they tried to process the information.

"I'm sorry, but missing?" Sybil eventually broke the silence, rocking Erin, though the baby had not stirred; her tone a mix of incredulity and irritation. "How can he be missing? He only works in Ripon and he only lives in the village."

"He was supposed to be dining with us last night, but he apparently left work at around eleven o'clock yesterday morning, telling the clerk that he was unwell and would be going home. Then this morning he didn't arrive at the office. The clerk was the last person to see him." She took a sip of her tea; it sounded so much worse aloud than it had in her head as she had planned out what to say.

"Well surely he is at home then?" Edith spoke as if that was the most logical explanation, but even before she'd finished speaking, Catherine was shaking her head.

"Edward doesn't think he is. He's gone there now though. But you see, Matthew left a note, in his office."

Edith and Sybil were both gripped with a sudden panic. A note. And he was missing. That could only mean one thing… But Matthew loved Mary. Surely he wouldn't jilt her so close to the wedding. He wouldn't jilt her at all. He just wouldn't. Would he? Edith opened her mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by Carson appearing in the doorway.

"Excuse me, miladies, but there is a Mr Wallace to see you."

"Please, send him in. Thank you Carson." The butler nodded his head and showed the gentleman in, who smiled and headed straight towards the settee, sitting next to his wife.

"Good morning Lady Edith, Lady Sybil. I'm sorry that we have to be the bearers of bad news," his expression shifted into one of solemnity.

"So he's not at Crawley House then?"

"No I'm afraid not. And his man doesn't seem to know where he is either. Matthew told him yesterday morning that, after dining with us, he would not be returning home, that he'd be staying with us for the night."

"What about Isobel? Does she know where he is?"

"Mrs Crawley was not at home. She is out for the day. She is expected back in time for dinner I believe."

"Could he be with Isobel do you think?" Sybil turned to Edith.

"No, because Molesley would know that," Edith lifted a hand to her temple and rubbed gently, attempting to ease the tension that had suddenly developed. "You mentioned a note Mrs Wallace," she remembered with a start. Catherine looked at Edward who nodded and pulled out a sheet of paper and an envelope from his jacket pocket.

"Yes. These were on his desk this morning," he handed them to Edith, who looked over them quickly before handing them to her sister.

"I'm sorry. Please give this to Mary," Sybil read out, frowning as she looked at the sealed envelope, her sister's name scrawled messily across the front, as if it had been written in a hurry. "He's sorry? If he jilts her, he will be!" She spoke too loudly and the baby stirred. She gave the papers back to Edith and stood, starting to pace in angry circles to try and send the crying Erin back to sleep.

"Sybil, we don't know the full story, there's no need to be drastic," she smiled at the younger woman, her eyes pleading with her. Sybil sighed before reluctantly smiling back, slowing her pace. Edith turned back to Edward, "Are you going to give it to Mary? She's in York though; she won't be back until later today."

"No. I want to find him first. I don't think we should tell her anything until…_unless_ it is absolutely necessary. Do you agree? She is your sister after all," he smiled briefly, his gaze flicking between the two women.

"Edith we can't tell her. Not unless we know for sure. And she shan't be back for a while yet, so we might not have to, she might not even have to know-" the door opened and they all froze, turning to see…Tom walk in. He paused and looked between the three women and the man, sensing he had interrupted something.

"I'm sorry; Mrs Hughes said you were in here. I just wanted to get Erin," he strode over to Sybil and took the baby from her with a bright smile at his wife, and an even brighter one at his daughter. "I'll get out of your hair," he smiled and nodded at the two strangers as he headed back to the door.

"Tom, Matthew has gone missing," he stopped and spun to face Sybil, who was still standing, her expression grave. "He hasn't been seen since yesterday morning and no-one knows where he is, and Isobel is out…" she trailed off with a sigh.

"Does Lady Mary know?" They all shook their heads. "Well we need to find him." He strode back towards the seats, handed Erin back to Sybil and started pacing. "Have you checked Crawley House?" He turned to Edward, who nodded.

"Yes, and he wasn't in any of the other offices at work. One of the clerks is checking around Ripon, and the other is going to telephone some of Matthew's clients and see if he's having any meetings with them. Beyond that, what else can we do?"

"Well, we need to search the village and the estate too. He won't be in the house, someone would have said," Edward nodded in agreement as Tom spoke, the three women quite forgotten. Edith poured them all some more tea as the two men planned out a strategy.

* * *

><p>"I think I'm ready for luncheon Anna," Mary turned to the other woman with a smile as she felt her stomach churn with hunger.<p>

"Me too milady, if you don't mind me saying so. There's a tearoom just across the road there," she smiled and they carried on walking, both gazing up in awe as they strolled past the Minster.

"Beautiful," Mary murmured as she looked at the imposing structure, and she briefly wondered if Matthew would like a day out to the city; they could have a picnic and walk along the river. She beamed as she realised that it would have to wait for several weeks.

"Are you alright milady?" Anna raised her eyebrows, noticing the smile.

"Yes, thank you Anna. I just…I was thinking how nice it would be to come to York for the day with Matthew, but we can't for a while, because we're getting married on Saturday," she bit back a giggle in disbelief. It was such a strange, exciting thought. The wedding was days away. _Their_ wedding. Hers and Matthew's. Matthew. Her mind repeated his name over and over, making her heart flutter. She had never been so excited about anything before in her whole life, and she almost had to pinch herself to remind herself that it _was_ real. It wasn't a dream. She was going to be _his wife_…

Sensing her distraction, Anna gently steered Mary towards the teashop with a knowing smile, ordering for them both as they sat down.

"How was Mr Bates?" Mary dragged herself out of her reverie and focussed her attention on the blonde woman opposite, smiling brightly.

"He was very well milady. He's excited for Saturday," Anna beamed back at Mary.

"I'm sorry that he can only be out for a few hours," Mary frowned as something crossed her mind.

"It's better than nothing though!"

"I'm sorry that he's in there at all. If it wasn't for me…" she trailed off and bit her lip.

"He doesn't see it that way milady," Anna spoke softly, sensing where the other woman's thoughts had taken her. "And you mustn't either." Mary nodded once and turned her attention to the window. "Thank you for coming with me today. I really am grateful for all of your help," Mary's gaze snapped back to Anna, who was smiling kindly at her, hoping to further reassure her mistress.

"Of course! And it's the very least I could do, after all of the help you have given me!" Mary smiled tremulously as the briefly ignored thought surfaced at the front of her mind. "I'm so glad you're coming with me Anna. I don't know if I could do it without you." Mary smiled and took a deep breath, her gaze drifting back to the window, fingers unconsciously twisting her engagement ring.

Anna watched her carefully, recognising the anxiety that Lady Mary had started to feel over the past month or so, hitting her every so often without warning. It had started when they had decided to pack up her winter clothes, ready for them to go to Crawley House. Bit by bit, over the past two weeks, they had started to move her things to her new home, and now all that remained at Downton was what she needed for the next few days. They had laughed with Isobel as they had unpacked Mary's things in the bedroom; joking about how much space Matthew _really_ needed for all of his clothes, and if Mary could take any of it without him noticing. But Anna knew that, despite the jokes and the overwhelming excitement, Lady Mary was nervous about leaving her home and the life she had always known.

"I'm sure that you would have been fine without me, milady. Mr Crawley would have made sure of it!" Mary looked up, saw Anna's warm smile, and nodded, returning it, some of her nerves dissipating with Anna's reassurance.

They ate in a companionable silence; slowly sipping their tea and watching the world go by, their minds wandering pleasantly to other matters.

Neither woman spoke again until they were almost at the train station.

"Anna, I'm going to go to Ripon on the way back and see Matthew. Do you mind going back to Downton by yourself?" She tried to stop herself smiling as she thought of how wonderfully adorable he looked whenever she visited him unannounced, his mouth hanging open in surprise as she appeared in the doorway of his office... She snapped her attention back to Anna.

"No milady. I'll let them know where you are when I get back," she gave another knowing smile, and they walked to the ticket office.

* * *

><p>Once in Ripon, Mary strolled leisurely to Matthew's office. It had only taken her three visits to find it without his help, and now she was sure she could find it with her eyes closed, not that she would try of course, but it didn't lessen her sense of achievement about it. She opened the main door and the clerk stood on seeing her.<p>

"Good afternoon Lady Mary."

"Good afternoon Mr Johnson," she smiled, stepping forwards, glancing at Matthew's office door before looking back at the clerk.

"I'm sorry Lady Mary, but he's still not turned up."

"Who hasn't?" Mary raised her eyebrows in amusement. As pleasant as Matthew's colleagues were, she also found them a little…_eccentric_ at times.

"Mr Crawley of course," the young man smiled, but Mary said nothing, instead looking at him in utter confusion.

"What do you mean 'of course'? What's going on?" All colour drained from the man's face as Mary's words registered.

"I'm sorry Lady Mary…I thought…I thought you knew," his expression was one of horror. He swallowed, continuing before he lost his nerve. "Mr Crawley is missing. No-one has seen him since yesterday morning."

She stared at him for a moment as his words sank in. Matthew was missing. Missing. Matthew…missing. She frowned, closed her eyes, shook her head…it didn't make sense. He couldn't be missing, not again, not _now_. She swayed slightly on her feet…then felt a hand on her elbow.

"Perhaps you'd like to sit down for a moment." She nodded as Mr Johnson led her to the nearest chair. "Would you like some tea?" She shook her head, needing her thoughts to settle for just a minute. There had to be an explanation for it. There just had to be. Oh god…what if he was…what if he was _jilting_ her? Tears prickled in her eyes and she remembered their conversation from Monday; how nervous and upset he'd been. She had reassured him though, hadn't she? He had been happy when he left though. But what if he'd been lying? What if he really hadn't forgiven her, and now he was hurting her as she had once hurt him? What if the past six months had all just been a cruel joke leading up to this? She felt sick, like a knife was twisting in her stomach. No, he could never be…cruel. Could he? He'd had plenty of time to call off the wedding if he was unsure, but he'd said he was sure… Her hands gripped at her little bag, her knuckles white with the tension underneath her gloves, as she tried to drag her thoughts back to something resembling rational, aware that Mr Johnson was hovering awkwardly next to her, unsure of what to do or say. She squeezed her eyes shut and took several deep breaths.

_In._ No. He was not being cruel. He was merely…having doubts.

_And out._ Yes, that was it.

_In._ Monday must still be playing on his mind.

_And out again._ But if he was jilting her…

"What is being done to find him?"

"We have checked around Ripon and telephoned Mr Crawley's clients, but there has been no news. Mr Wallace has gone to Downton I believe." She looked up at the clerk.

"Does his mother know?"

"Mr Wallace was going to go and call on Mrs Crawley. Lady Mary, is there anything I can do?"

She thought for a moment. She had to speak to Isobel. She would know where he was. She had to.

"Oh, no. Thank you," and with that she left, desperately hoping that Isobel would have some information.

* * *

><p>Anna ambled slowly from the train station, enjoying the sunshine. She'd had a lovely day; first going to see John, and then walking around York and luncheon with Lady Mary. Yes, it had been very pleasant indeed. She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice someone shouting her until they had caught her up and touched her arm. She spun round, coming face to face with…<p>

"Mr Branson! What on earth…?"

"Anna, you can still call me Tom," was his first, defensive, response. "Where is Lady Mary?" He was breathless from running after her, his eyes darting around the quiet street.

"She decided to go into Ripon to visit Mr Crawley. Why? What's happened?"

"Oh god. She'll know then."

"What is it?" Anna couldn't keep the worry out of her voice, Tom's obvious anxiety suddenly putting her on edge. "What will she know?"

"Mr Crawley has gone missing. Mr Wallace, his best man, said he didn't turn up for work. He's left a note for Lady Mary, but no-one knows where he is…" he trailed off and ran his hands through his hair. He liked Matthew, really he did, but he knew that if Matthew was planning on leaving Mary, then he would have to side with his wife rather than the man he considered his friend.

"What about Mrs Crawley? And Mr Molesley? What are people doing?" They started walking, past the church and Crawley House, towards the Abbey.

"Mrs Crawley is out for the day and Molesley said Matthew hasn't been home since yesterday. We've searched the house, even though we knew he wouldn't be there. We've checked Crawley House, the church, most of the village, and we're going to start on the estate now… They've looked in Ripon. Anna, he's nowhere to be found!"

Anna couldn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. All she could think of was how happy Lady Mary had looked only hours ago when she had talked about a day trip to York.

Carson showed them into the library where Edith, Sybil, Edward and Catherine were already waiting. Introductions were made and tea was poured as they went over every detail of the day so far. Eventually, they decided on their next course of action, splitting into their groups to go and search the acres of the estate and the surrounding villages.

* * *

><p>Mary arrived at Crawley House at the same time as Isobel and they immediately went through to the sitting room.<p>

"I do hope I'm not intruding," Mary smiled as Isobel indicated for her to sit, and asked Molesley to bring them some tea, before turning back to the younger woman. It had become something of an appointment for them since January; taking afternoon tea together once or twice a week, and getting to know each other as they had not done before.

"Of course not. What brings you here today?" Isobel knew that as the wedding drew ever closer, Mary was getting nervous about moving into the house, of becoming the mistress, of replacing her as the first woman in Matthew's affections. Well, she hadn't been first for a long time, Isobel mused to herself, but that was how it should be. Many of their conversations had been Mary admitting some of her worries about married life and Isobel reassuring her.

Mary took a deep breath, "Do you know where Matthew is?"

If Isobel was surprised at the question, she did not show it. "Well he should be at work." Mary was shaking her head even before Isobel had finished speaking, and she quickly relayed what the clerk had told her at the office.

Isobel pursed her lips and nodded. "I see. Had anything happened between the two of you? He seemed agitated on Monday."

Mary dropped her gaze and took a sip of tea before replying. "He was worried about a few things but he was fine when he left. At least, he seemed to be." Isobel nodded, half-wishing that Mary was not so reticent when it came to her feelings about Matthew, but also knowing that she perhaps did not need, or want, to know everything that the couple spoke of. Isobel thought for a moment, and then it came to her.

"I think he'll be in Manchester," she said it so calmly, so matter-of-factly, as if she had just said that it was warm outside.

"Manchester? Why?" Isobel watched Mary intently for a moment. Perhaps it was time to tell her.

"To visit his father's grave. After that garden party, that's where he went. That's when he enlisted," she paused, her gaze flicking over Mary, who nodded once, neither really wanting to be reminded of that time. "Even before we moved here, that is where he would go to think."

To think. To make his mind up. To decide that he didn't want to be with her after all… No. She didn't know for definite that that's what he was doing. She thought back to the conversation they'd had at Easter.

"He asked me to go with him one day," Mary spoke softly, and met Isobel's gaze, noticing that her eyes were red. She hadn't even thought of the wife that missed her husband, only of the son that missed his father.

"Yes, I thought he would eventually." She stood and crossed the room to the small table under the window, quickly scrawling something on a scrap of paper, before turning back to Mary and handing it to her. "This is the address of the church. It doesn't take long to get there from Piccadilly station. You should go first thing tomorrow."

They finished their tea in silence and Mary thanked Isobel, taking a deep breath as she left and headed home.

She got to the front door to find Edward and Catherine leaving, smiling at them in greeting. It was a smile that didn't reach her eyes, and told them what they feared.

"You know don't you?"

"Yes. I went to the office and Mr Johnson told me. I've been to see Isobel and she thinks he's in Manchester. I'm going to go tomorrow."

"What if you don't find him?" Catherine asked, her face filled with concern.

"Then I suppose there won't be a wedding," Mary smiled ruefully, almost as if she was apologising.

"Would you like us to come with you?" Edward spoke softly.

"No. Thank you. I'll let you know…how I get on though," a real smile this time.

"Oh Lady Mary, before we go…this was on his desk. It's not been opened." He pulled out the envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it to her with a smile, before they said their goodbyes and climbed into their waiting car.

* * *

><p><em>Thursday 10<em>_th__ June_

The church was easy enough to find, and she only had to ask for directions once. She saw him as soon as she stepped through the gate into the cemetery. He was sat on a bench, much as he had done on Monday evening, leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees, staring intently at the headstone in front of him. He looked up as he heard the gate clang shut, standing when he realised who it was, his face lighting up.

"Mary! What are you doing here?" He walked towards her, stopping just a foot or so in front of her.

"I could ask you the same," she bit her lip, regretting her accusatory tone. She didn't want to fight. "Isobel said you might be here."

"Well of course I am. It was all in the note," he looked at her in disbelief, surprised at her coldness.

"The note? What…ah," she pulled out the still sealed envelope and held it out to him. "I only got it yesterday afternoon. I didn't want to open it because…if you have something to say to me, I'd rather you told me yourself than hide behind words on a page." Her heart was pounding, and she felt tears prickle in her eyes as she stared into his, almost losing herself in the blueness of them. He frowned, confused.

"But I wasn't hiding anything! All it says is that I was coming here for a few days, because I had some things to think about and I didn't want to cast a gloom on your week, but I would see you on Friday!"

"What things Matthew? Why couldn't you have just sent a note to the house telling me where you were going?" She took a deep breath and spoke again, lowering her voice, suddenly aware of where they were stood. "You left and didn't tell anyone where you were, and I thought…I thought you were jilting me."

Her words registered and his eyes widened in shock. "Oh my darling. No," he closed the space between them, reaching for her hands, his note crumpling between them.

"I was angry-" she opened her mouth to speak but he interrupted before she made any sound. "No, please. I was angry. Not at you Mary. Never at you. I was angry for upsetting you the other night, for letting…things get to me, for doubting you. I was angry with myself Mary. I am sorry I didn't tell you where I was. And I'm sorry that you thought I was going to leave you. I'm just…I'm so, so sorry, for all of it. Can you forgive me?"

He looked over her face, his eyes pleading with her. She nodded slowly.

"Matthew, you have to be honest with me. We wasted so much time not telling each other how we felt-" he interrupted her with a soft kiss.

"I'm sorry," he smiled as he pulled away, raising his eyebrows, trying to make her smile.

"Matthew…" she tried to make it sound like a warning, and failed. He leaned in and kissed her again. This time she did smile.

"Am I forgiven?" She nodded with a smile. "I'd like to introduce you to someone then," he was suddenly serious, and he took a deep breath before gently pulling her towards the stone he had been sat in front of, a fresh bunch of flowers lying at the base.

"Lady Mary Crawley, this is my father, Doctor Reginald Crawley," he squeezed her hand and she smiled at him, before reading the headstone. She frowned, and quickly counted backwards. Matthew had only been seventeen. She was hit by an overwhelming sadness that he had never mentioned how old he had been when he had suffered such a tragic loss.

"Oh Matthew," she breathed, turning to him and raising her hand to rest on his cheek, leaning up to kiss his forehead. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, burying his head against her shoulder as he let the long-repressed tears fall. One of her hands rubbed his back, as she had done when he was in the hospital, and her other moved to his head, just dipping into the hair at the nape of his neck, all the while whispering in his ear that it was alright, that it was all going to be alright.

They stayed like that for a while, until he pulled back and rubbed his face with his hands.

"Are you alright?" Her brow was creased in concern, her eyes red with her own, unshed, tears.

"Yes, I am now," he led her to the bench, sliding his arm around her shoulder, keeping her close to him. They sat in silence for a while, both deep in thought.

"I was angry with him too you know," his voice filled the air and she turned to look at him, but he remained staring straight ahead. "There have been so many times that I've wanted to talk to him, and I couldn't. He's not been there for so many things, and now he's missing our wedding…" he trailed off, clenching his free hand into a fist.

"He'd be there if he could. You know that. I'm sure he'd very proud of you though; proud of the man that you became, of the man that you are," he turned his head to meet her dark eyes.

"Have I told you just how much I love you my darling?"

"Not recently you haven't, no," she quirked her eyebrow with a smile, which he returned, gently squeezing her shoulder. They slipped back into silence.

"So, where have you been staying?" Mary asked eventually, aware that they couldn't stay there forever.

"In a hotel. I need to go and get my things before we go back. Are you alright to come with me?" She nodded and they stood, looping her arm through his as he offered it, before leisurely strolling through the streets towards his hotel. A comfortable silence settled around them again; they still didn't need to speak, not now. Mary let her mind wander as Matthew gently led her, and she was so lost in her thoughts of him and the feel of him so close to her, that she didn't realise that they had arrived in the hotel lobby.

"Oh," she looked around in surprise, before meeting his gaze with a shy smile. "I'll wait here."

"You don't have to. I'm only collecting a bag. And besides, what if _you_ decided to suddenly…disappear?" He raised his eyebrows and smiled mischievously.

"Oh well if you just want to keep an eye on me, then I suppose it's alright!" She replied flirtatiously, letting him lead her through the corridors until they stopped at a door.

"Alone in a bedroom with a woman when you are not married Matthew? How scandalous!" She teased, eyes twinkling, as he let them in, closing the door behind them.

"Oh I don't really see you objecting too strongly my dear," he replied with a smile as he moved past her to collect his things. She watched him intently as his back was turned, and her mind started to wander…thinking about that night in Dublin when she'd undressed him, and the smoothness of his skin, the warmth of it…how it would feel to wake up next to him… A thought struck her – they could. Now. They were completely alone. No-one would need to know… Heat flooded her as her thoughts drifted, making her cheeks pink and her heart race… As if sensing her gaze, he spun round to face her, a look of amused confusion on his face.

"Mary?" She smiled and stepped towards him, hands reaching for his lapels, pulling him towards her, leaning in and kissing him passionately. He momentarily froze, before wrapping his arms around her waist with a groan, desire coursing him through in an instant. She responded by locking her arms around his neck, tilting her head to deepen the kiss… He groaned again and pushed her backwards until she was pressed against the door… She gasped into his mouth and opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. He smiled, before dropping his lips to her neck, placing teasing kisses against her skin, while she moaned softly, letting her fingers slide into his hair. His own hands skated across the buttons of her coat and pushed it to the floor.

"We should stop," he murmured breathlessly, though he made no effort to move away from her.

"I agree." Her hands found their way to his tie and she tugged it loose, before reaching for his jacket. "Definitely…should…stop…" his mouth claimed hers once more.

"We should wait… Saturday…" She nodded in agreement, but then he pressed himself against her, dulling her senses as a wonderful, foggy haze of sensation took over.

"Absolutely…"

Whether Mary pushed or Matthew pulled, they did not know, but they were suddenly away from the door and stumbling towards the bed, hands travelling over the other, mouths meeting in a desperate clash of tongues and teeth, their moans and gasps filling the still air. They collapsed onto the bed, limbs tangling together as they kissed, not wanting to think too much about the rapidly progressing situation as desire burned through them, their need for each other dissipating all rational thought…

* * *

><p>Mary smiled as Matthew's arms pulled her even closer to him, propriety all but forgotten as she turned her head and kissed him on the cheek, so very warm and content in his embrace.<p>

"I can't wait for you to be my wife," he murmured, reaching for her hand and pressing his lips to it before lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently.

"Me either. I'm glad we were interrupted you know." She coloured slightly and fixed her gaze out of the window, remembering how they had leapt apart as a maid had knocked on the door, hastily straightening their clothes and replacing their discarded coats and hats. Oh they hadn't gone far, but both knew that they wouldn't have stopped if they had not been interrupted.

"Oh? And why is that?" He was glad too, though it had not felt like it at the time.

"Because it wouldn't have been right to…_continue_, and Saturday, well it will be as it should be," she sat up straight and turned to face him, looking deeply into his eyes and smiling affectionately. "It's only two more days anyway!" They both leaned in at the same time and kissed softly, tenderly, pulling back shyly as the conductor walked past, announcing their arrival at Downton station. Two more days and they would be married. Two more days…

* * *

><p><em>Found him!<em>

_**Chapter 10**: There's only two days to go, surely nothing bad can happen now…can it?_


	10. Chapter 10

_Two things you should know about me: I'm very silly, and I'm easily amused. This chapter was not in my original plan for the story, but the idea came to me a couple of weeks ago and would not leave me alone, and so after some research and a lot of note-making, here it is!_

_It is bridging the gap between Thursday and Saturday (or what I like to call 'Friday'…)._

_A/n: Definitely not to be taken seriously! I mean it, just go with it!_

_Thank you, as always, for all of your support! I do appreciate it!  
><em>

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

_Friday 11__th__ June_

"Is he nearly finished do you think?" Matthew muttered under his breath. Mary tapped him firmly on the arm and narrowed her eyes as he looked at her.

"Sshhh! It's for you as much as it is for me!" She hissed back. Although she was not too annoyed by Matthew's interruption; Robert had been giving his speech for a good twenty minutes, and he wasn't showing any signs of stopping.

"If this is his short speech, I dread to think what it will be like tomorrow!" Matthew raised his eyebrows with a smile. Mary opened her mouth to protest before deciding against it, realising that he was probably right, instead trying to catch her mother's eye.

"My dear, perhaps it is time for the presents," Cora interrupted, seeing her daughter's exasperated expression, gently resting a hand on her husband's arm as she looked at him with a smile. He turned to her in surprise, saw the raised eyebrow and turned back to the guests.

"Of course. To Mary and Matthew!" He raised his glass, indicating for the rest of the party to do so, and they all repeated the toast as the couple looked at each other and smiled, getting lost in each other's eyes… Before Robert coughed and their attention snapped back to the guests that were gathered around them, earning a few chuckles and knowing smiles as their cheeks flushed slightly. Edith and Isobel crossed the room to them, while everyone else went back to their own conversations for a moment, allowing the bride and groom-to-be a moment of almost-privacy to exchange their presents for each other.

Edith handed Mary three small presents all wrapped in thick paper. She smiled at her sister in thanks before handing the first to Matthew. It was a small, square box and he examined it carefully before peeling off the paper, handing it to Mary as he opened the lid.

"It's a pair of cufflinks!" He picked one up and examined it closely, frowning as he turned it over in his fingers. "These were my father's," he murmured, looking first at his mother, and then his fiancée.

"Yes. Do you like them?" Mary asked, suddenly worried that he might not. "I didn't know what to get you and then I asked Isobel, and she thought you might like these. They had to be cleaned, but apart from that…" she trailed off and bit her lip.

"Oh darling…they're wonderful. Thank you," he smiled broadly and leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek. "Thank you as well Mother." He nodded at Isobel.

"Well, you always liked them so much. Do you remember asking if you could look after them? You used to say to your father 'Papa, I shall have these because you never know when pirates might come to steal them'." Isobel smiled fondly at her son, at the memory of his six year old self. "And he'd let you, saying 'Matthew, these are very special. They were a present from your grandparents when I became a doctor, so you must guard them with your life!'" They all laughed and Matthew met Mary's gaze with a nod. It was the best she could have done to have the late Doctor Crawley as a part of their wedding, and he didn't think that he would never be able to explain just how much it meant to him that she had thought of that, especially after Thursday.

"I've not finished yet though darling, there are two more things," she smiled brightly and handed him a slim, flat box, which was unwrapped and examined in the same way.

"A watch! Mary, you really didn't-"

"Stop. Yes I did," their eyes met again, and he sighed before taking it out of the box, looking carefully at the square face and dark brown leather strap. It was a very fine watch. "Last one," she handed it to him before he could protest further. It was a new fountain pen. "Well, you said you thought yours was leaking," she smiled and gave a small shrug. He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him, pressing a lingering kiss to her cheek, briefly ignoring his mother and Edith.

"Thank you my darling. Now, for yours. Mother?" He handed his gifts to Isobel who handed him one flat box in return. He handed it to Mary with an affectionate smile. It was beautifully wrapped, and she wondered if he had done it. She untied the ribbon, fumbling slightly as she felt his gaze on her. Inside the small box was a thin gold chain with a small pendent, set with a single sapphire. She gasped on seeing it. "You don't have to wear it tomorrow, and I don't know if you already have something, but it could be your 'something blue'." He tilted his head slightly waiting for her response.

"It's beautiful. Of course I'll wear it tomorrow. Thank you," she beamed at him and, not caring who might see, leaned in and kissed him properly, lightly pressing her lips to his, as her hands rested against his chest.

"There is something else as well, but you can't have that until tomorrow," he whispered in her ear as they pulled apart.

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows but he merely shook his head. Edith took the presents from them, and they were led into the drawing room where the rest of their wedding presents had been laid out. The door clicked behind them…they were alone for the first time all afternoon.

Matthew reached for Mary's hands, pulling her towards him, before sliding his hands around her waist, as hers came to rest on his shoulders.

"Thank you for the presents."

"You like them then?"

"Yes. I do," he grinned and bent his head to kiss her, their eyes closing as their mouths met, opening to each other as the fires from the previous day reignited, hands pulling the other closer. "Just think, this time tomorrow, we'll be married," he murmured against her lips before pulling back with a smile. Mary was suddenly overwhelmed with love and buried her face against his neck, clutching him tightly to her. He kissed her hair and they stayed like that for several minutes, until a knock on the door brought them out of their little bubble, both smiling as Cora appeared.

"It's time to go in to eat!"

"I'll see you afterwards, have fun!" He kissed Mary's cheek and headed to the dining room to join the rest of the male guests.

Mary followed her mother to the library, where the female guests were assembled. What followed was a lot of giggling, and tea drinking, and tales of embarrassing incidents from other weddings, as they devoured the buffet. Talk quickly turned to children, and all that that entailed. Mary stayed almost silent, smiling and nodding at the appropriate times, but feeling too distracted to take part properly, grateful though, for the presence of her sisters on either side of her. All three of them smiling as their Grandmama repeatedly clashed with Violet, who was being backed up by Isobel, while Cora rolled her eyes and turned her attention away from them to the other relatives. Every so often laughter could be heard coming from the dining room, and Mary turned her head instinctively, wishing she could be in Matthew's arms once more.

Matthew was in a similar state of longing, glancing in the direction of the door every few minutes. He was feeling unpleasantly woozy from the cigar smoke that was whirling around them, but still pleasantly dizzy from his embrace with Mary earlier. Talk had turned to shooting, and hunting, and inevitably, the war. He was grateful, at least, that he had been seated between Tom and Edward; though the conspiring looks they were giving each other was more than a little unsettling.

Eventually, it was time to leave the dining room for the groups to come together for an hour or so of dancing. Matthew sighed, it was all such a fuss, especially when tomorrow was going to be much the same. Except that tomorrow he wouldn't have to be parted from Mary. He smiled. Just a few more days with the family, then one month in Italy with each other and no-one else. He was among the last to leave the dining room and he immediately scanned through the people for his fiancée, frowning when he couldn't find her, deciding to head to the library as he thought she would most likely be in there…

* * *

><p>"I thought you'd be out here," she turned with a smile, recognising the gentle voice behind her.<p>

"You know me well," he reached her side.

"Old habits," they both turned and smiled warmly at each other. She took a sip of her champagne and turned her attention back to the view in front of her. "I'm sorry about what happened in London Mary."

She turned to face him, raising her eyebrows in surprise. "It's not me you have to apologise to Evelyn."

"You know she won't answer my letters?" He sighed, exasperated.

"Yes she said. And therein ends my involvement in the situation. It's between the two of you!" She smiled fondly at her friend. "I suppose we should go back inside, before someone thinks I'm escaping!" He laughed and they headed back towards the house, talking about the following day.

As they reached the door, Mary laid a hand on Evelyn's arm, "Will you keep an eye on Matthew tonight? When you go…wherever it is you're going?"

"Of course. Should I be concerned by your request though?"

"No. I'm more worried about what the best man and my brother-in-law have got planned!" They both laughed and headed back in to the party, unaware that they were being watched as they entered the hall.

Mary sensed someone's gaze on her and looked up, her chocolate eyes meeting Matthew's blue ones, her face breaking into an impossibly broad smile. "Excuse me Evelyn, but I think I'm owed a dance. Go and find Edith and apologise!" He smiled and nodded as she walked into her fiancé's waiting arms.

"I wondered where you'd gone," he murmured as he led her straight into a waltz as the music started behind them, pulling her a little closer than was proper, but he didn't care, after tomorrow he wouldn't have to be proper with her.

"I just needed some fresh air. How bad was it in there?"

"It was alright. How about you?"

"I don't think we need to worry about Granny and your mother getting along. They appear to have united against Grandmama!" He chuckled and they settled into a comfortable silence, occasionally squeezing the other's hand.

The party continued…people danced and drank, the excitement for the wedding building as the night progressed. Some guests retired, some left, and then it was time for Tom and Edward to take Matthew away.

Mary walked with them to the front door, leaning up to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear.

"Be careful darling. Sybil said Tom has planned something but she doesn't know what!"

He turned and wrapped his arms around her, not caring who could see as his mouth found hers in a brief but deep kiss, both of them ignoring the cheers of the men stood a few feet from them.

"I'll be alright. I'll see you tomorrow," he pulled away and their eyes met, and he saw the mixture of excitement and anxiety and desire that he felt mirrored in her own eyes. He kissed her sweetly on the cheek, maintaining a hold on her until he absolutely had to leave. He walked up from the drive, following the rest of his group, which was an odd mix of people containing Tom, Edward, Evelyn Napier, Doctor Taylor (William, he did keep telling them), Mr Molesley, Thomas (whose presence was a mystery to Matthew but not to Tom, or Edward), and the new footman and some of the kitchen boys, whose names Matthew did not know. He looked back over his shoulder and saw that Mary was still stood in the doorway, watching after them, but now joined by Mr Carson, who had apparently declined the invitation to join the festivities, and Edith.

"Come on Crawley, get a move on!" Edward held back, waiting for him to catch up, and they all made their way into the village.

* * *

><p>"Mary, are you ready?" Sybil, Edith and Catherine appeared in the doorway, all in their nightclothes.<p>

"Yes. Thank you, Anna. You're coming back though?"

"Of course milady," she smiled and left the room, letting the other three women in, where they all headed straight for the bed, flopping down with a giggle.

"Sybil where did you get the champagne?" Mary spun on her vanity seat and pointed at the bottle that Sybil was holding, her eyes quickly glancing at the wrapped box that was in her other hand before meeting her sister's eye.

"I asked Mrs Hughes. And she said she'd tell Carson that we drank more tonight than he thought."

"I've got the glasses, and some chocolate truffles," Edith beamed.

"And I'm on water," Catherine smiled and stroked her small bump.

"Don't you mind being away from Edward for the night?" Mary moved and sat down, settling herself next to her pillows, legs folded underneath her.

"No. Besides, Matthew needs him more than I do tonight," Mary nodded, but before she could speak, there was a knock on the door and Anna appeared, now in her nightdress, and padded softly across the room, joining them on the bed.

"Have you started yet Lady Sybil?" She asked with a knowing smile.

"No Anna, I wanted to wait for you!" Mary looked between them all, feeling that she was somehow out of the loop. The champagne was opened and poured with giggles that were stifled by hands, then the chocolates were opened, and as they all settled, sat in a small circle on Mary's bed, Sybil handed the large box to Mary.

"This is from all of us, but I chose it. I hope you like it," she raised her eyebrows at her eldest sister, who looked nervously between the other four women and the box that was in her hands.

"Why didn't you just leave it with the others?"

"Because this is just for you," Sybil giggled, smiling at Anna and Catherine.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled carefully at the ribbon and slowly removed the paper, unable to imagine what could possibly be so secretive. She lifted the lid and moved the tissue paper, finding something…lacier and frillier and silkier than she had ever seen before in her life. She lifted it out, unable to stop the blush from rising up her face, her mouth and eyes open in shock.

"Is this a nightgown?"

"Of sorts," and Sybil collapsed into giggles once more, but seeing her sister's horrified expression she stopped. "It is, but it is not for sleeping in," she giggled again, this time joined by Catherine and Anna.

"What do you mean? If it's not for sleeping in then what's the point of it?" They all looked at Edith, who was staring at the garment in a mix of incredulity and fascination.

"It's for being looked at and removed," Sybil was almost breathless now. Mary and Edith shared a look. "Although I doubt you'll wear it in Italy. I doubt you'll wear anything in Italy," she took a chocolate, dropping her head as she bit back yet another giggle, sensing Mary's gaze on her.

"What do you mean I won't be wearing anything?"

"It's nothing to worry about Mary. Just that you might not leave your room, or bed," Catherine reached across and patted her hand reassuringly.

"Oh…oh! That," her cheeks flamed again as she realised, thinking back to the afternoon in Manchester, how close they had been to not stopping…how wonderful it had felt to have his weight pressing so comfortably on top of her…

"So have you and Matthew…?" Catherine raised her eyebrows with a smile as she noticed Mary blush; she was just as curious as her husband.

"No! Of course not!" She protested loudly and quickly.

"Really?" Sybil looked at her in disbelief; she had seen them in Dublin, she knew that they struggled to keep their hands off one another.

"Yes, really. Honestly Sybil. I don't want to discuss this anymore," she took a sip of her champagne and thought about Matthew, and all of the conversations they'd had that week…was it only a week? It felt like much longer, and yet not long enough. It suddenly felt like there was not enough time…that nothing would be ready tomorrow, which was ridiculous, because of course everything would be ready… Her head was spinning…

"There's something else in here," Edith broke through Mary's reverie and they all turned to her as she pulled a book out the box. She flicked through, saw some of the pictures and gasped in shock, her cheeks flushing as she threw the book to the centre of the bed. Sybil, Anna and Catherine all collapsed into a fit of giggles once more. Mary retrieved the book and quickly flicked through, eyes widening.

"It's if you get bored," Sybil gasped out.

"Yes. How thoughtful," Mary arched an eyebrow, wondering how on earth she was supposed to get these into Crawley House without anyone knowing about them.

"I have a question for Edith," Sybil switched her attention to her middle sister, who suddenly looked like a deer about to be shot.

"What? Why me?"

"I only want to know what's going on with you and Mr Napier. And you and Doctor Taylor. I feel like I've missed out on something," she smiled at Mary.

"It's nothing. Evelyn and I… It's nothing," she repeated, fixing her gaze on the bed cover.

"And the doctor?" Edith flushed even more, if that were possible, and shook her head. They all fell about laughing, and finished the chocolates and champagne as Sybil and Catherine enlightened the other three women about wedding nights and honeymoons, laughing all the more as Mary and Edith blushed and looked away, but all five giggling and whispering as the hours dragged on.

* * *

><p>Mary pulled the covers around her for the last time in this bed, in this room. Tomorrow night, she would be married and in a new bed, in a new house, with a new husband…and she had never felt more excited. And as she closed her eyes, she was still wondering how she would ever be able to sleep...<p>

* * *

><p>Matthew sipped the warm ale. Really, he didn't have much of taste for beer after Dublin, but it would have been rude to refuse Molesley's quietly insistent offer. They were sat in the Grantham Arms and things were getting…he didn't know…the night had taken a turn for the strange once they had arrived at the pub. Evelyn and the doctor were glaring at each other from across the table, though he could not fathom <em>why<em> they were glaring, occasionally taking sips from their glasses. Thomas and Tom were huddled in a corner talking, and the furtive glances they kept casting around did nothing to reassure Matthew that it was an innocent conversation. Molesley was staring into his glass in fascination. The others had…actually he didn't know where they were…no matter.

"I said, how are you feeling Crawley?" His head snapped round and he realised that he'd missed what Edward had said.

"Oh, sorry. Alright." He nodded and took another sip, trying to make it last as long as possible. He didn't want to be drunk and wake up tomorrow with a bad head. Also, he just didn't want to be drunk.

"No nerves now? You're not going to vanish again?" Edward smiled and slapped Matthew's arm.

"No. I'm quite looking forward to it." He thought of Mary - though truthfully, when was he not thinking of her? – And wondered if she was nervous, if she was already in bed, or would she be running through last minute preparations? He let his mind wander as the alcohol dulled his senses and the background noise became just a low mumble in his ears…

"Ah, Matthew, we've got a present for you!" Tom was looming in front of him, a mischievous grin spread across his face. Matthew sat up and looked in the direction that Tom had pointed to, seeing two women in very short dresses - good lord, was that their knees? – That were adorned with beads and feathers. His face froze in panic, while the attention of the other men was now on the women. "This is Cleopatra and Guinevere," Tom raised his eyebrows and flopped onto the seat next to Matthew, nodding at the two women to start.

"Cleopatra and Guinevere? Who on earth would call their daughters that?" He spoke a bit too loudly, and the rest of the men at the table all turned to look at him, pausing for a moment before they burst out laughing.

"I don't think that they are their real names Crawley," Edward boomed, pushing his friend's shoulder. Matthew nodded once in understanding, feeling a blush colour his cheeks. The two women started dancing and twirling their feathers, and Matthew kept sipping his drink and thinking about Mary, drifting off again. Molesley was entranced...he'd never seen women do that before! The rest sipped their drinks and clapped and cheered as the women twirled and danced in the middle of the pub, pulling Thomas to his feet to dance with them.

"He knew a man who knew a man who could get the girls," Tom muttered to Matthew, as if he had asked. Instead he just nodded and smiled.

Eventually, it was time to leave…beer and whiskey had been drunk, they had laughed and they had danced…but it was time to go.

Edward and Matthew ambled in the direction of Crawley House, assuming that Molesley was behind them, enjoying the quiet as they strolled through the village. Quiet until…

"It's a fight! It's a real fight!" Molesley was running towards them. "Come on, it's a fight!" They shared a confused look and turned to follow Molesley, finding themselves back outside the pub as Evelyn and William danced around each other, fists raised, occasionally flinging out a hand but missing their target. Evelyn tried a new tactic and kicked out a leg, but he'd had a drink and stumbled, falling backwards into Thomas.

"What's going on?" Matthew moved to Tom's side.

"Oh it's something to do with Edith, we left and they just started… No-one's thrown a decent punch yet though!"

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Matthew turned back to two men, who were still circling and flinging their arms and legs at each other but neither making contact.

"Oh I don't know, it might get good yet!"

"I doubt it! Look, you get Evelyn and take him back, and we'll get the doctor, alright?" Tom nodded, and he, Matthew and Edward all stepped in between the other two, keeping them apart, eventually managing to calm them down and leading them in the opposite direction from the other.

* * *

><p>It was a relief when Matthew finally sank into his bed, and he grinned when he realised that tomorrow night he would be back in the bedroom, in his own bed, with his new wife. He lay back, still grinning, and quickly slipped into a deep sleep despite the giddy excitement he felt.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Saturday 12<em>_th__ June_

A pair of bright blue eyes and a pair of dark brown eyes snapped open at the same time. A blonde man and a brunette woman both rolled onto their backs, and two pairs of hands clutched and bunched the bedclothes around them, unable to still their fingers as a nervous, excited energy bubbled through them, causing large smiles to spread across their faces. They both turned to the window…the sunlight was pouring through the crack in the curtains, and they smiled again, the same thoughts occurring to them at the same time.

This was it…

Today was the day…

The day they were getting married…

_They_ were getting married…

_Married_…

Finally.

* * *

><p><em>An: Yes I did reference __Bridget Jones' Diary__. Yes bachelor dinners were a real thing, dating back to ancient Sparta (I Googled it and everything). Yes, Sybil did get Mary a copy of the Kama Sutra. _

_I regret nothing about this chapter._

_**Chapter 11**__: Well, we've reached Saturday, that can only mean one thing! _

_I do hope no-one turns up unexpectedly.  
><em>


	11. Chapter 11

_Thank you, as always, for all your wonderful support and your response to the last chapter. I know I say it every time, but it really is genuinely appreciated! And thank you to the lovely Orangeshipper, who helped with some of the specifics._

_I'm not going to make funny or clever comments about this…all I'll say is that I hope you enjoy it, I know I've teased you all for long enough!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

He rolled back onto his back, unable to keep still, unable to stop smiling. He was still tapping his fingers. It was no good, he couldn't stay in bed. He got up and checked the clock…seven. He still had hours yet. He momentarily debated ringing for Molesley before deciding against it. He pulled on his dressing gown and slippers and headed down to the dining room.

"Good morning Matthew! Pyjamas at the breakfast table?" Isobel smiled fondly at her son.

"Well, there's no point getting dressed to then get changed an hour later. Good morning Mother," he added with a smile, before sitting down and pouring himself some coffee. Edward joined them minutes later, still in his own pyjamas.

"How's your head this morning Matthew?"

"Oh, fine," he beamed, looking up from the newspaper in front of him, quickly scanning through it as he waited for his breakfast, though truthfully he didn't have much of an appetite. "Yours?"

"Fine, fine. Although I doubt the doctor and that Napier fellow will be able to say the same!" They both laughed, and Isobel looked between them curiously, but declined to comment. Whatever happened the previous night was none of her business. Molesley brought in their food, and they all ate in a comfortable silence, feeling too excited and distracted to make proper conversation.

* * *

><p>Mary shifted and wriggled under the covers; she was wide awake and unable to keep still as excitement bubbled through her. Oh it was no use trying to stay in bed. She got up and crossed to the window, pleased to see that it was a glorious day. It was the last time she would have that view. She took a deep breath at the thought, suspecting that she would be doing that a lot throughout the day. She rang the bell for Anna, not knowing what else she could, or should, do. Quickly glancing at the clock, she noticed that she had hours yet. She wondered what Matthew as doing; if he was up yet, if he had slept as well as she had, if he had enjoyed himself the night before…<p>

"I brought you some tea and toast milady. Mrs Patmore didn't think you'd want to eat much," the maid smiled as she entered the room with a tray, interrupting Mary's train of thought.

"Thank you Anna," she smiled but only sipped some of the tea, having no real appetite as her stomach flipped and fluttered with nerves.

"I'll go and run you a bath milady," Anna beamed at Mary, who was only half-listening to her, her mind elsewhere as she stared at the dress hanging on the front of the wardrobe.

"Yes, thank you Anna," she repeated, smiling again as she looked at the gown.

* * *

><p>"You look very handsome, just like your father. He'd be so proud of you today you know," Isobel smiled and then sniffed into a handkerchief as she appeared in the doorway. Matthew turned to face her, fixing the cufflinks he had been given only the day before, and smiling fondly as his normally reserved mother became teary as she looked at her only child.<p>

"Here, let me," she crossed to him as he fumbled slightly with one.

"Mother-"

"There," she interrupted as she finished the task, stepping back out of the way as Molesley held out his coat to him. His heart was suddenly racing, and he didn't know why. He wasn't nervous, well, not much anyway, but that was more to do with the evening than anything else, though he was ignoring all of those sorts of thoughts. Six months…had it really been that long? Was it even long enough? Yes, more than long enough. He'd waited for almost eight years.

Molesley gave the jacket a final brush, "All done sir," he smiled and stepped back, picking up the hat, ready to hand to Matthew.

"Thank you Molesley. Is Edward ready?" The servant nodded and smiled. "How long do we have Mother?"

"Twenty minutes. We'll go when you're ready. Have you got the ring?"

"Yes." He nodded, looking once more in the mirror. "I think I'm ready," he turned back to them, but they'd gone, giving him a moment alone. He looked over himself in the mirror and fiddled with his watch strap, and pulled at his jacket, and tapped his fingers against his hat, and took a deep breath. And another. And another. He was on edge and fidgety as reality had suddenly hit him like a bolt of lightning.

This was it.

He slowly made his way down the stairs – was it slowly? He didn't know anymore. Everything had stopped and yet was whizzing past at the same time. Edward and his mother smiled at him as he reached the bottom, he nodded in reply, turning and nodding to Mrs Bird and Molesley as they appeared from the kitchen. They all made their way to the front door, and he took another deep breath as the occupants of Crawley House left to start the short walk to church.

This was it.

* * *

><p>"Are you alright milady?" Anna smiled as she placed the last pin in Mary's hair.<p>

"Oh, yes," she flashed her a small smile, but her tapping fingers betrayed the serenity of her expression. Oh why was she so nervous? She felt giddy and shaky and a bit too warm. There was no reason to be nervous, unless he'd disappeared again…she shook her head, now she was just being silly.

"There," Anna stepped back to admire her handiwork, as well as to check that it looked perfect, which naturally it did. "When you're ready milady, I'll put your dress on."

That seemed to jolt Mary from her thoughts and she met Anna's gaze in the mirror, accepting her words with a nod. She had been unable to speak properly since she'd got out of the bath, her stomach filled with a hundred butterflies, regardless of how many deep breaths she took. Silently Anna helped Mary into the fitted silk gown and slowly fastened the buttons with a smile. Mary was stood still but her hands were clenched into fists and she was still taking deep breaths. Anna finished and they both patted and smoothed the dress. Mary sat down again and closed her eyes as Anna fixed her tiara and veil into her hair, grateful that her friend didn't feel the need to fill the silence.

"All done milady," she beamed as Mary stood and turned to the mirror, gasping as she saw her reflection. "I think they'll have to stop Mr Crawley from coming down the aisle to get you himself!" Both women giggled, though Mary's was more out of nerves than anything else, and she felt tears prickle in her eyes…how was it possible to be so happy and excited and nervous all at the same time?

There was a knock on the door, and it opened to reveal her mother, both grandmothers, her aunt and her sisters, all ready and beaming at her.

"Oh my dear," Cora breathed as Mary turned to face them. "You look beautiful!" She crossed the room to kiss her daughter on the cheek. Mary nodded once and smiled, her head ducking as a faint pink flush crept up her face, every inch the blushing bride. They all looked at her in awe, and if anything, it only made her feel more nervous than she already did. One by one they all kissed her cheek, Sybil and Edith briefly squeezing her hands, before leaving with a smile.

"We'll see you there. Your father is already waiting for you downstairs," Cora was about to leave when Mary grabbed her hand.

"Thank you Mama," Cora smiled again before embracing her daughter, pulling away quickly as tears threatened to spill down her face, nodding and leaving with Anna.

It was time.

She glided down the stairs, for it really did not feel like her feet were on the ground. Robert's face lit up when he saw her, and she smiled back, still too nervous to speak.

"You look beautiful," he smiled, his own eyes shimmering as he handed her the bouquet before reaching for the delicate netting of her veil, pulling it over her face. "Shall we?" He held out his arm and she nodded, taking another deep breath as they walked outside to the horse-drawn carriage that was waiting for them.

It was time.

* * *

><p>The walk to the church felt like both the longest and shortest of his life. Everyone in the village had come out, it seemed. There was bunting, and flowers, and people were waving and clapping. He smiled bashfully, unused to being the centre of so much attention, accepting people's best wishes as graciously as he could when they stopped him to shake his hand. He knew it was important; he was marrying the Earl's daughter, he was the future Earl himself, but he'd had no idea just <em>how<em> important it was to all of the people that were lining the path to the church. Only the presence of his mother at his side kept him in reality, for surely this was all a dream, wasn't it? A wonderful, impossible dream.

Isobel watched her son as he accepted the wishes of the crowd, and suddenly, just for a moment, he was her little boy again; the tiny baby who seemed not to care how much trouble he had caused his parents as he took almost two days to make his way into the world…the angry seventeen year old, filled with so much pain that his father had left them…the proud young man who had almost cried at his university graduation…the soldier who had been broken in every possible way, but who had recovered, thrived, and learned to love and accept love again. She took a deep breath and blinked back her tears.

They reached the church and he shook hands with the vicar before going inside and greeting the guests that were already there; still taking deep breaths, still trying to calm his shaking hands.

* * *

><p>As the crowd of servants disappeared from view, the horses started moving, slowly trotting down the long drive. Robert took a moment to observe his daughter; he'd never seen her like this, with a small, nervous smile gracing her features and her hands twisting the flowers round and round and round as she stared out of the window. He was suddenly filled with a pang of regret. Three daughters and he would only experience this with two of them. Would Sybil ever forgive him? Could she? Maybe he could make amends now that they had Erin.<p>

The finally arrived in the village, and Mary took a deep breath as she saw the crowds of people. She'd tried not to think about that, about how many people would be there, but now they were waving at her and her father, and she couldn't help but smile and offer a wave back, but tears still prickled in her eyes. Dropping her hand, she did something she had not done for many years, and sought her father's hand, squeezing it as her nerves overtook her. He met her gaze and smiled, returning the squeeze, and in that brief moment, she was his little girl again; the tiny baby that he had held so carefully hours after her arrival, staring at her awe…the bossy two year old that clambered onto his lap with the newspaper, demanding to be read to…the awkward ten year old who had sat so shyly during her first proper dinner with the adults…the young woman who had quietly loved and cared for the broken man that had returned from the war, showing a depth of compassion beyond all expectation. He felt tears prickle in his own eyes, and took a deep breath. She turned to smile at him again, their hands clasping even more tightly as the church suddenly came into view.

* * *

><p>"Mary, there's no need to be nervous," Robert smiled at her kindly, the first time he had spoken since they had left the house. She turned to him, her hand gripping his arm a little tighter, nodding and smiling.<p>

"I know," but it did nothing to calm her. Edith and Sybil beamed at her, and she smiled back. She felt like she was shaking, maybe she was, but she was suddenly grateful for her father's presence, certain that she might fall over if he wasn't there.

The doors opened, and the music started. Sybil walked out first, followed by Edith a few moments later. Robert gently led her to the doorway to wait, just for a very short while, and then…

It was time.

* * *

><p>"Matthew," he turned to Edward in surprise, completely lost in his own thoughts. "Deep breaths," the best man beamed at him and patted his shoulder.<p>

"Deep breaths," he muttered, but hadn't he been doing that all morning with no effect? He slowly inhaled anyway, fixing his gaze on the spot in front of him.

The music started. Oh god, this was it.

He glanced quickly and saw Sybil, then Edith, both smiling broadly at him as they took their places.

That must mean…

* * *

><p>She saw the red jacket. The blonde hair. His head moved up, then down, and his hands moved from behind him to in front of him, and then he was still. Edward was looking over his shoulder, and caught her eye with a smile and a wink. She smiled back before turning to smile at the guests on each side, tightening her grip on Robert's arm as she remembered how to put one foot in front of the other.<p>

He could hear the low murmur of the congregation as she approached, but he couldn't turn yet. If he looked now, he would wake up, he was sure of it.

"You should see her Crawley," Edward muttered to him with a grin, but he could only nod, keeping his eyes on the spot in front of him.

* * *

><p>They stopped and Robert turned to her, carefully lifting the veil and leaning in to kiss her cheek. Then he took her hand and they stepped forwards.<p>

Edward nudged his elbow, and Matthew turned, his mouth dropping open. At his side, smiling, cheeks flushed with the softest pink, dark eyes sparkling, was Mary. She was like an angel, a goddess. He thought his heart might burst as she smiled at him like she never had before, not even when he had proposed.

This couldn't be real. It just couldn't.

She felt her hand be placed in Matthew's, but she was so lost in the impossible bright blue of his eyes that everything else faded, and she felt herself smile as she took in his expression of absolute adoration; he smiled back, and she thought that he could hear her heartbeat, for it was pounding so loudly in her chest.

Their hands clasped together, the only thing that felt real as they stepped towards the vicar.

Matthew licked his lips and smiled, nodding at her, feeling the tremble of her hand in his as their nerves bubbled and flitted through them.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony…" the vicar started, but their attention was only for each other. It was if they hadn't seen each other for days rather than hours. Their eyes quickly dropped and looked over the other appreciatively.

She had never looked more beautiful; though beautiful seemed a wholly inadequate description for how she looked. Stunning, breath-taking, divine, radiant…she really was glowing. She was perfect.

He was so handsome, _so_ handsome, but so unaware of it. She was sure her heart actually stopped as she drank him in. He wore the red coat so well, he even held himself taller, straighter…prouder.

"…Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can show any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace." Their hands unconsciously gripped tighter, if anything were to go wrong it would be now. They held their breath as the seconds dragged, fixing their gaze on the vicar as they both expected the worst…breathing a sigh of relief as the vicar continued.

"Matthew Arthur, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"

"I will," he turned back to her, smiling and speaking softly, though everyone heard.

"Lady Mary Josephine, wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

"I will," she beamed at Matthew, her voice coming out much calmer than she actually felt.

"Now repeat after me…"

"I, Matthew Arthur, take thee, Lady Mary Josephine, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and thereto I give thee my troth." He met her gaze with a smile, how often had they already acted on these vows before they were even engaged?

"Milady, repeat after me…" she turned back to the vicar, her head bowing slightly as she nodded.

"I, Lady Mary Josephine, take thee, Matthew Arthur, to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and thereto I give thee my troth." And oh she did love him, had loved him for so long, and she would do anything, _anything_, for him.

The vicar was saying something about the ring, and then Matthew was placing the gold band on her finger, looking deeply into her eyes, and she wanted to laugh, to cry, both. She didn't know. Suddenly their hearts were racing, they knew what was coming next. They had practiced it. They had talked about it with the vicar. They both took a deep breath, turning their attention to the old man in front of them, hands still clasped together.

"…and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be man and wife together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." Their smiles broadened, and they both leaned in at the same moment, claiming a soft, sweet chaste kiss, before pulling back and dropping their heads as the congregation clapped, their cheeks flushed and their eyes bright.

The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur. They were married. Married. _Married_. To each other. Finally. Hymns and prayers didn't matter. Nothing else mattered. They smiled shyly at each other, their eyes only leaving the other's when it was time for them to leave and they turned to the congregation, most of whom were dabbing their eyes, including both of their mothers and Violet, who mouthed 'I have a cold' at the couple with a smile.

They did not speak until they were sat inside the carriage, hands still joined.

"Hello," he murmured, leaning in to kiss her properly, his nerves dissipating as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him.

"Hello," she smiled back, letting her free hand stroke up to his cheek as their eyes met. They would never get tired of looking into each other's eyes, they were sure of it. "Well we did it darling," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him again, dislodging his hat slightly.

"I would say the hard part is over, but we still have the rest of the day to get through!"

"Yes, but we have each other, and we don't have to spend any time apart now. In fact, you are not allowed to leave my side for the rest of the day!" He chuckled and kissed her again, pulling away to look over her once more.

"You look beautiful," he spoke suddenly, unable to keep it to himself.

"Thank you. You look very handsome," she smiled back.

"I do? You've never said that to me before," his eyes widened slightly, and his mouth curved into a gentle smile.

"I haven't? How remiss of me. Because you are _very_ handsome, especially in your red coat!" She leaned in and kissed him again, not liking it when they weren't kissing now that they definitely _could_. He smiled against her lips, remembering a conversation from several months previously, and her fascination with his mess kit suddenly made sense. They kissed again, slowly and deeply, holding each other close, relishing in it just being the two of them, knowing that they would not be alone again until that night.

The house came into view and they pulled apart, smoothing their clothes before lacing their fingers together once more. She took a deep breath. She was a visitor now. As if sensing her trepidation, he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand, over the two rings that he had bought for her; she met his gaze and nodded.

He helped her out of the carriage with a smile, before offering his arm to her, leading her through the front door.

"Congratulations Mr Crawley, Lady Mary," Carson's deep voice welcomed them into the hall, smiling as the household staff that were assembled broke out into rapturous applause. The newlyweds beamed and looked down in embarrassment as they were handed a glass of champagne each. Matthew sighed as he realised that he would have to let go of his wife because her hands were now full. He slipped his arm around her waist instead.

"Mrs Hughes, would you mind taking my flowers. I don't think I need them with me now," Mary beamed at the housekeeper, who nodded with a smile and took the bouquet away, having heard Matthew's sigh. Her hand reached and found his. "Not going anywhere," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

The rest of the guests arrived soon after. They ate – an outstanding buffet on the lawn under a large marquee, and both bride and groom found that they were able to eat something now. They managed to speak to all of the relatives and friends that they had not yet seen, and due to the flawless, meticulous, almost military-like planning of Cora, Isobel and Violet, everyone was moved inside as the day progressed, ready for the celebrations to continue.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is with the greatest pleasure that I invite my daughter and her husband to take to the floor for their first dance," Robert grinned. He had not stopped since the service. The bride and groom slowly walked to the centre of the room, hands still clasped tightly together, cheeks still flushed, eyes still bright… It would have been pointless for anyone to ask if they had married for love; their every gesture, every glance, every smile, said it all.

They automatically stepped into each other's arms, and the gathered guests broke into quiet applause as Matthew started to lead his wife in an elegant waltz. Their cheeks were pressed together, and Matthew was holding Mary a little closer than maybe he should have been, but he didn't care. Neither did she. It didn't matter. All that mattered was them, in their own little bubble of two. A careful observer would notice that every so often their lips were moving, causing the other to smile, but no-one tried to listen, it was between them. The dance ended and Matthew was immediately claimed by her mother for the next. Robert approached Mary, but she declined, instead motioning for Sybil to come over and have her own first dance with their father. She looked at him in surprise, before handing the baby to her husband and stepping into Robert's arms. Mary instead sought someone else, and found him hovering by the stairs, gently tugging his hand to lead him to the floor, now full of other guests dancing.

"Milady, I shouldn't," he protested, even as he was taking her hand.

"Nonsense Carson. It's my wedding, and I want to dance with you," she smiled mischievously at him, earning a chuckle in response as he turned them slowly. "After all, you were the one who taught me!"

"Very well milady," he smiled, and they fell into silence. "It won't be the same without you here," he almost whispered after a minute, and she met the old butler's gaze, swallowing as some of the things she'd tried not to think about fought their way to the front of her mind.

"And it will feel strange not to have you around either, but I'll visit often," she smiled, but it faltered. It was all changing. She would have Molesley, who was perfectly nice, but he wasn't Carson. This house was not her home any more, and she was now just a guest, a visitor.

"May I cut in?" Matthew appeared, holding out his hand to his wife with a smile.

"Of course. You look after her Mr Crawley, though I'm sure you will," he nodded, smiling one last time at Lady Mary before he released her to her husband.

"Are you alright darling?" He held her close and murmured in her ear, having seen her smile drop and her eyes become glassy. She nodded, biting her lip.

"Yes. Just overwhelmed I think," she muttered back, clutching his shoulder.

"I know it's going to be different, and I know it's hard for you to leave here," he continued. "But it'll be alright," he sounded so sure. She nodded in reply, leaning even closer into his embrace as his hand lightly rubbed her lower back, completely past caring about whether or not it was 'proper' to be close to her husband. Husband. She let her mind linger on that thought, the thought that she had not paid much attention to all day, the thought that Matthew - darling, wonderful, funny, clever Matthew - was _her husband_. And here she was, dancing with him on their wedding day, and the giddy excitement that had slowly disappeared suddenly bubbled through her once more.

How long they stayed gently turning on the spot, they didn't know. But eventually, inevitably, they were interrupted.

"Mary, it's time to change," Edith and Sybil appeared at their side. "Sorry Matthew, we won't be long." Mary shrugged and kissed him and followed her sisters, not even bothering to ask where Anna was, having seen her disappear with Mr Bates an hour or so ago.

Matthew felt bereft without her. It was so strange, they had only been married for a few hours, but he already missed her, even though they had spent days apart before now. He found himself drifting towards Robert.

"Ah Matthew, my dear chap. Have you enjoyed the day?"

"Yes, thank you. You really have been too kind."

"Nonsense. You will look after her, won't you?" Even though Robert knew the answer, he felt he still had to ask, feeling a sudden protectiveness towards his eldest daughter.

"Of course," the young man smiled, meaning it. He would do anything for Mary, even die for her if he had to, though he did not feel the need to share that particular thought with his father-in-law.

"Well then, my dear boy," Robert offered his hand and Matthew shook it firmly, somehow understanding everything that the Earl was trying to express.

* * *

><p>"Do you feel any different?" Sybil asked as she carefully removed the tiara and veil from her sister's head.<p>

"I keep thinking I'm going to wake up!" Sybil and Edith giggled as they started on the buttons on the back of her dress. "I don't know. Did you feel different?" She asked Sybil seriously.

"Not on the day, but the next day I did. I missed him, even if he was just going into a different room in the house, but that's how I feel about Erin now," she shrugged. Mary nodded, understanding exactly what Sybil meant. The dress was carefully removed and hung up, and they started on the laces of her corset.

"Any particular reason you chose a dress that doesn't need one of these?" Sybil asked with a knowing smile, making quick work of the ties, as Edith hovered with the other dress in question.

"I just like the dress," Mary replied defensively, but smiling at her sisters as they zipped it up at the back. Of course she had thought about it, and what was going to happen…later, and… She shook her head; if she let herself think about it then she would panic, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. They finished and carefully packed up the dress with her nightgown from the night before, and her clothes from the past few days. The very last things to go to her marital home. Sybil excused herself to check on the baby, leaving Mary and Edith alone.

"You must visit whenever you want to," Mary spoke suddenly, reaching for her sister's hand. "And we'll still be coming for dinner," she met Edith's gaze, smiling tremulously.

"Mary-" but before she could finish, there was a knock on the door and Anna appeared.

"I'm going now milady, with Mr Molesley and Mrs Bird. Is that everything?" She picked up the case and Mary nodded. "I'll see you there milady," and she left just as quickly, but the moment between Mary and Edith had passed, and all they could do was smile at each and make their way downstairs, with Mary turning and giving the room one last lingering look before closing the door behind her. When one door closes, she thought to herself with a wry smile.

* * *

><p>It took a while to say goodbye to all of the guests; friends first, and then their families, with Sybil, Tom and baby Erin getting more time than most, as they were heading back to Dublin in two days, and they didn't want Mary and Matthew to feel like their time should be interrupted to say goodbye. This was said with a wink and a smile that made the newlyweds blush as Tom's meaning sank in.<p>

They were caught up in a whirlwind of hugs and handshakes and kisses and best wishes from the rest of the family once more, and then suddenly, they were outside and sliding into the car as the family spilled out of the house waving and smiling at them, the day having passed by in seconds, but yet also feeling like it had been so much longer than just one day. As the car pulled away, Mary turned and took one last look at the house, taking another deep breath. Matthew watched her closely for a moment before slipping his arm around her shoulders, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

"My darling," she turned to him, meeting a blue gaze that was full of promises, smiling as the low tone of his voice sent ripples of desire through her as those thoughts that she had been pushing away all day surfaced.

"Matthew," she breathed as she leaned in and kissed him, her hands sliding to his neck, her fingers just delving into his hair, knocking his hat slightly. The chauffeur coughed as they pulled up outside the house, giving them a moment to pull apart before he opened the door to them.

The front door was already open and as she reached it, Matthew stopped her and scooped her into his arms, grinning broadly as she gasped and wrapped her arms around his neck to hold herself to him.

"What are you doing?" It came out as a loud whisper, even though she knew that the servants would probably be able to hear them anyway.

"You were the one that wanted me to do things properly, so I am. Just following your wishes dearest!" He kissed her as he carefully stepped through the doorway, setting her down once inside and closing the door behind them. They both stood awkwardly, not entirely sure what to do.

"Would you like anything to eat, or drink?" The calm that he had felt since the ceremony suddenly disappeared and had been replaced by his nerves from that morning. His heart was hammering and he was sure that he was sweating. She looked at him in surprise, her own heart racing. The air around them suddenly feeling thicker, heavier, than it had a few seconds ago.

"No, thank you. I'm alright. I think…I'd like to go to bed," it was barely a whisper, and his breath caught as she stared at him, her meaning perfectly clear.

"Right. Well then. I think I'll get a drink, if you don't mind. Do you want to…" he trailed off, not really sure what he asking her.

"Oh. No, I don't mind. I'll…see you upstairs then," she smiled and kissed him, turning to make her way up the stairs, grateful, at least, that she had been there before so she that knew where she was going. She opened the bedroom door to find Anna waiting for her.

"Are you alright milady? Do you want to get changed?" Anna smiled at Mary, bringing her out of her reverie. She thought for a moment.

"No, thank you. I can manage. Goodnight Anna."

"Goodnight. And congratulations milady," she bobbed her head and left, also finding it strange to be in a new house.

Mary pulled off her shoes and stockings, glancing at the nightgown that had been left out for her on the chair. Should she change? Should she stay as she was and wait for Matthew? She suddenly felt more nervous than she had all day. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, deciding to wait for him. She sat down at the dresser and removed her earrings and necklace before rearranging the bottles and jars in front of her, finding the mundane task calming.

* * *

><p>Matthew winced as he knocked back the whiskey. Dutch courage he told himself. Just a nightcap he'd told Molesley before dismissing him. He paced his dressing room, brimming with nervous energy, wondering if he should get changed, and kicking off his shoes and socks and taking off his hat, before he resumed his pacing. But then he remembered her face as she looked over his red jacket, and how she had called him handsome, and the answer was suddenly very clear.<p>

He knocked softly on the door that connected the two rooms, slowly entering as she spoke. She was stood in the middle smiling at him, and not in her nightclothes. His eyes went straight to her bare feet, and he smiled fondly as he noticed the loss of about an inch from her height, making him feel oddly protective, as if she was somehow more vulnerable without her shoes on. Her eyes too went to his feet, and she smiled; he was so formally dressed and yet he had bare feet! She stepped towards him, reaching for his hands.

"I thought I still had a present," she murmured, meeting his gaze. He blinked in surprise.

"Oh yes. Don't get too excited, it's not much," he moved to one of the bedside cabinets. His side, she realised with a smile, was the opposite side to hers.

"I know the day is almost over, but I think it's time you had this back. It was borrowed after all," he lifted her hand and pressed the soft toy dog into it. "A little worse for wear, but in better condition than most," he met her gaze, and she knew that he wasn't just talking about the toy.

"Thank you," she leaned in and kissed him, her arms wrapping fully around his neck, moulding herself to him. His hands moved to her waist, clutching at the soft material of her dress as their heads tilted, deepening the kiss with a quiet moan. The toy dropped to the floor as her hands twisted into his hair. All thoughts and nerves dissipating as they pulled each other closer, mouths opening and hands gripping. Mary's hands slid out of his hair, caressed his cheeks and reached for his bowtie.

He broke the kiss and his eyes traced over her face, lingering on her lips for a moment before looking back into her eyes, their hearts thudding as the realisation hit them both that this was happening, and it definitely was not a dream.

"Are…are you sure?" He gasped, breathless from the kiss. She nodded and tugged at the black material…

* * *

><p><em>Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it (I cried twice, not going to lie)!<em>

_Now to explain, I've written the wedding night as a separate piece (for lots of reasons), so if you do want to know what happens then I suggest you read __And Here We Are In Heaven__. If not, then chapter 12 will just pick up from the following morning, but you won't have missed any major plot points!  
><em>


	12. Epilogue

_And here we are again. I am sorry about the delay with this, I really am, but after posting the last chapter and wedding night, I started thinking about what I would do next with this, and I realised that I couldn't take it any further, but once I had that realisation, I hit a brick wall of writer's block. Now if you follow me on Tumblr, you'll know that I have written 80-odd (at least!) ficlets/drabbles and you might wonder how I could possibly have writer's block. Well, over on Tumblr, I have been given the prompt and just had to write something around that, but this is all my own, and it is my baby, and it has a special place in my heart. Some of you might be surprised that this is the end, but it seems like the right place to finish. I am going to write their honeymoon at some point though!_

_So, without further ado, here is the epilogue. :)_

* * *

><p><em>8<em>_th__ December_

It was a Wednesday when it was published, less than three weeks before Christmas. For the first time in months, Mary was eating her breakfast alone, more through circumstance than choice though. However she found that she quite enjoyed the solitude, taking the time to eat slowly and peruse the newspaper at her own leisure, while listening to the sounds of the house as Anna, Molesley and Mrs Bird set about their morning duties.

She took a sip of her tea and turned the page, almost choking as she saw the grainy picture of an all too familiar face that was suddenly looking back at her and the headline that accompanied it.

Mary stared at the page in the shock. Well, it had to happen at some point she supposed. She sat back and read it again, before moving to ring the bell for one of the servants, impatiently tapping her fingers on the table as she waited.

"Is everything alright milady?" Anna entered the room with a smile.

"Yes, thank you Anna. I'm going in to Ripon. I need to speak to Matthew," she pushed the newspaper across the table towards the maid, who stepped forwards and read it quickly, gasping and looking back up to meet the dark brown gaze.

"Do you think he's seen it milady?" She looked at her mistress, unable to read the expression on Mary's face.

"No. He left before the papers arrived. But I must see him before someone else shows him," she stood, pressing a cool hand to her forehead as a wave of dizziness struck her. Anna stepped forwards, holding out her hands as if she was worried that the other woman might suddenly faint.

"Are you sure you're alright milady?" Her voice was filled with concern as she took in the paler than usual demeanour and the hand that was gripping at her skirt.

"I'm fine Anna, I just stood up too quickly," she smiled, but the maid was not convinced. "I'll leave as soon as I'm ready," and with that she left the room, resisting the urge to rub her head again.

* * *

><p>"Lady Mary to see you sir," Matthew looked up from his work at hearing the voice of the clerk, smiling and standing as his wife entered the room, but feeling slightly anxious as he noticed the time. It was not even eleven o'clock yet. It must be serious for her to be there so early.<p>

"Thank you," he waited until the other man left before speaking to Mary. "What brings you here? Has something happened? Is it Mother?"

"No, everything's fine. At least, I think it is. You need to read this. It arrived after you left this morning," she bit her lip and opened her bag, pulling out and smoothing the newspaper clipping that she had cut out before handing it to him, both sitting down as he read it, his face set in a frown.

"Well," he spoke after a few minutes, looking up and meeting her gaze. "What do you make of it?

"I think…it means that he won't publish." She watched him closely, trying to gauge his reaction; so far he seemed quite calm.

"Why do you think that?" He chose his words carefully, not wanting to…upset or offend, he wasn't sure. She didn't seem to be affected, but he knew better than anyone how well she could hide her feelings.

"Because he looks, I don't know, _happy_. He's getting married, why would he want to do anything that could damage that? He has something to lose now." He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it as he looked at the picture once more. Sir Richard Carlisle was marrying a woman that definitely looked closer to his age: a widowed American heiress with two children; aged eleven and thirteen. He looked at the man's face, not seen since he had punched it almost a year ago. He looked exactly the same, but also so different; Mary was right…he looked happy.

"What do we do?" Matthew read the article for a third time, still trying to get his head around it.

"Nothing. There is nothing to do. And should he ever decide to publish it, well, we'll deal with it then, but I don't think we have to worry. I think it's over Matthew," Mary smiled warmly at her husband, before standing to leave, her eyes closing as her dizziness from only a couple of hours ago returned. "I should go, I'll see you later."

Matthew moved to her side, hands reaching for her, "Darling, are you alright?"

"Of course, I just…stood up too quickly," she answered, leaning in to kiss him, full of the awareness that it was the second time that morning that she had responded with that. She pushed away the thought and pressed herself closer to him, her gloved hands automatically moving to his hair, his sliding to her waist, staying like that for several moments before they pulled away, leaving them both with bright eyes, flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

He licked his lips and looked at her longingly, wishing they could continue. But it was neither the time nor the place…frustratingly, he thought. "Well, yes. I'll see you tonight then." She smiled as she left, knowing that he would now be distracted for the rest of the day, her original purpose for visiting now completely forgotten as their minds wandered pleasantly to _later_.

* * *

><p><em>14<em>_th__ December_

"Lady Edith, milady. Would you like some tea?"

"Oh, yes, thank you Molesley. Hello! I wasn't expecting to see you today," Mary smiled at her sister as she sat down. "How was London?"

"Fine. It was nice to see Aunt Rosamund. She said she'll be coming up on the twenty-third for Christmas," she smiled, and the conversation paused as Molesley entered with the tea tray, leaving it on the table before leaving again.

"So late? Did she say why?" Mary looked expectantly at Edith, who was now twisting her hands in her lap.

"No," Edith shrugged and watched as Mary poured the tea, opening and closing her mouth as she debated her next words, unable to stop them as they tumbled out in a breathless rush. "Evelyn proposed." She met Mary's shocked expression with a small, embarrassed smile.

"Really? What did you say?" Mary asked after a moment, letting the information sink in.

"That I'd think about it," Edith took a sip of the sweet brown liquid, needing something to distract her from her own thoughts.

"When did he ask?"

"Sunday. He said he won't press for an answer though, he'll wait until I'm ready."

"What do you think you'll say?" Mary observed her sister carefully, looking for any sign as to which way she may answer, but all she saw was a woman with bright eyes but who looked a little perplexed, as if she wasn't sure she should be in this situation.

"I don't know yet. What do you think I should say?"

"I know what I think, but I'm not going to tell you. Only you know the right answer, just make sure that you're happy!" Mary smiled wisely at her younger sister, understanding a little of the other woman's trepidation. "And what about William?"

"Well, I…nothing has really been discussed. I mean, not _properly_ anyway…" Mary nodded as Edith trailed off, somehow understanding what she meant. "I just don't know."

"Well you have time. He won't push, and even if you say no he'll accept it with good grace," she grimaced suddenly, a sharp pain shooting through her lower back, making her feel sick.

"Are you…are you alright Mary?" Edith had been about to ask something else but noticed her sister's jaw tense, as if she was in pain, and the colour drain from her face. "You look awfully pale!"

"Oh I'm fine. I…have a cold," she smiled and drank some tea, wishing that everyone would just stop asking. The subject was changed once more, and the two sisters talked until Matthew arrived home from work.

* * *

><p><em>17<em>_th__ December_

"Where are we dining tonight?" Matthew sat back and picked up his coffee cup, watching his wife as he took a sip. It had been six months but sometimes he still couldn't quite believe that he shared his breakfast table, his bed, his _life_…with Mary, that she was his wife, and that they were happy. Wonderfully, blissfully, ecstatically happy.

"The Dower House. I'm sure that Mama has convinced herself that we spend more time there than we do anywhere else," she smiled and reached for another piece of toast. "Granny has all but demanded our presence tonight though. She wants to discuss something."

"Really? Any idea as to what it is?" She shook her head and shrugged. "Well, I shall be glad to see Mother in any case. She's been so busy recently, I feel like I've hardly seen her!"

Mary nodded and smiled fondly as she thought of her mother-in-law. Isobel had managed to live with the newlyweds for two weeks after they returned from their honeymoon, before deciding that it would be best for everyone if she moved out permanently. Though she loved them dearly, and couldn't be happier for them, they were a little too…vocal and enthusiastic in expressing their love for one another for Isobel's patience. Mary flushed at the memory of that conversation. It had been just over a week since they had returned from Italy, and both Mary and Matthew were surprised that returning home had done nothing to dampen the fires within them. If anything, it had only increased their passion because of the time they spent apart when Matthew was at work. Absence did indeed make the heart grow fonder.

It was after dinner, and they had all retired to the sitting room, with husband and wife fighting the urge to curl up to one another as they had done each night while they had been away. Isobel had sat and explained the situation in that calm, matter-of-fact way of hers, lips quirking in an affectionate smile as the young couple blushed and looked down, and her son coughed and tried to explain that she didn't need to leave.

"_Oh but I do Matthew. I think you've started as you mean to go on, and I value my sleep a great deal."_

His mouth had opened and closed ineffectually, finding that he could form no defence for the fact that he and his bride enjoyed their nightly activities, frequently and, well, he had thought they were being quiet, but it was very difficult to maintain control of all, or even any, of their faculties when they were making love, it was all pure instinct and pleasure. And what a perfectly wonderful, exciting pleasure it was! So really, it could not be helped if they were noisy…not that he relayed any of those thoughts to his mother.

And so it had been agreed, though with no input from the newly-weds, that Isobel would stay with Violet again, only as a temporary measure until a suitable house or cottage could be found in the village. However, something happened at the Dower House. Something unexpected. Despite their less than auspicious start all those years ago, the two women developed a friendship of sorts and seemed, at times, to actually enjoy the other's company, and so Isobel's stay went from temporary to permanent, and both were quite content with the new arrangement. Though there were still some minor disagreements, they understood one another better than anyone else seemed to, and shared what no-one else could understand – the pain of losing a much beloved husband. The only stipulation that was put in place was that Mary and Matthew dined at least once a week with the two older women; a request that they were more than happy to oblige with.

* * *

><p><em>21<em>_st__ December_

"Hello sir, is everything alright? It's just that we weren't expecting you back so early today," Molesley smiled as he took Matthew's soaked winter coat, hat and gloves.

"Yes perfectly, thank you Molesley. They were cancelling some of the trains because of the snow, and the partners didn't want me stuck in Ripon for the night. Is Lady Mary in the sitting room?"

"No, she's upstairs, sir. She's not been down since the doctor left an hour ago."

"Doctor? Is she unwell?" Matthew was suddenly gripped with terror. Despite what she said, she had been off colour for days, weeks even, if he thought about it. He didn't dare think about what it could mean; all of the nausea, and headaches and dizziness. She'd kept saying it was just a cold, but what if it was something…worse? He squashed the thought as soon as it flitted through his mind. Oh god, he couldn't lose her. Not now, not after everything… Molesley looked at him, eyes wide as he took in his employer's suddenly panicked expression. He didn't know why the doctor had been; he had only opened the door and then Anna had shown him upstairs.

"I don't know sir…" Molseley replied weakly as Matthew raced up the stairs, two at a time.

He opened the door to the bedroom; the curtains were drawn but the soft yellow glow of the lamp illuminated the room. She was curled up on his side of the bed, clutching a pillow, hair in a loose braid. He looked at her for a moment, really looked at her. She was pale, more than usual, and she looked tired and drawn, like she'd lost some weight. How had he not noticed that before? Oh god, if something happened, it would all be his fault for being so damned…blind! He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, quietly approaching and removing his shoes and jacket, before sitting down, careful not to disturb her, and lightly stroked her arm.

"Darling," he spoke softly, reaching for her hand. "Mary, darling, wake up." She stirred, her eyes flickering open, looking at him surprise and then smiling in recognition.

"Matthew! Hello!" Her voice was low and groggy, but she smiled warmly at him…until she seemed to realise something. "Oh goodness, what time is it? I told Anna to wake me at four," she sat up, clearly annoyed.

"It's only just after one. I left early because of the snow," he leaned in and kissed her forehead before pulling back. He couldn't put it off; he had to ask her. "Mary, Molesley said the doctor has been, and you're in bed in the middle of the day. I know that this is more than just a cold. What is it? Please tell me," she met his gaze, frowning slightly. Really, she was lucky that she had managed to hide it for this long, but he had a right to know, she supposed. She shuffled closer to him and took his hands in hers, biting her lip, her gaze dropping to her wedding ring, staring at it.

"You must promise not to be annoyed for keeping it from you." Her stomach fluttered with nerves.

"Mary-" it came out as an anxious warning. He swallowed thickly.

"No, please just listen." He nodded once. "Well, the thing is…" She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." Her heart thudded as she quickly glanced at him…he was like a statue. They sat in silence as the minutes dragged by. She chanced another look at his face, his blue eyes, brighter in the low light, were fixed on something over her shoulder. "Matthew?" She hadn't expected him to go into shock.

The sound of his name startled him and his eyes met hers. He licked his lips and swallowed, how was his mouth suddenly so dry?

"Are…are you quite certain that you're…you're…you are…?" She nodded, unable to stop the large grin from spreading across her face. "How…? How long have you known?" He was frowning.

"I thought the _how_ would have been obvious. And I've known for about three weeks. I was going to tell you…" She trailed off as he pulled back, standing and pacing in front of her, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Three weeks? Mary, I thought you were seriously ill, and you're just…pregnant! Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to wait until you'd had the baby and then inform me?" She propped herself against the pillows, smoothing the blankets around her, watching him with raised eyebrows until he ran out of steam. "My god Mary…I was so worried about you!"

"Are you quite finished? I was going to tell you…" she trailed off. She hadn't thought about how silly it would sound when said aloud. In her head it had sounded perfect, but now… Oh well, too late now. "I was going to tell you on Christmas day. And really, you were only worried after Molesley mentioned the doctor. If you'd asked me sooner, I would have told you and you know it," she arched her eyebrows at him, daring him to contradict her. But he didn't. She knew him well, too well.

His face softened instantly and he moved back to her side. "I'm sorry darling, I just…I feared the worst. And I can't lose you. I just…can't," he reached for her, pulling her into his arms, burying his face in her hair.

"You are pleased though, aren't you darling? I know we haven't really discussed it, but we did say that if it happened…" she trailed off, her hands gently stroking over her still flat stomach.

"Oh my darling, of course I am! I just didn't expect… I never thought…" he smiled as he watched her hands, before turning to face her, bringing a hand to caress her cheek. "So when can we expect to meet him or her?" His voice trembled as he tried to get his head around the fact that she was pregnant. They were having a baby. They were going to be parents.

"June, around the eleventh, the doctor thinks. So at least you won't forget our wedding anniversary," she smiled, feeling lighter than she had in weeks, tilting her head towards him. He nodded and chuckled softly, meeting her gaze before leaning in to kiss her properly, both shuffling down on the bed as their arms wrapped more fully around each other, not caring a jot that it was the middle of the day.

* * *

><p><em>31<em>_st__ December_

"We have an announcement to make," the nervous voice cut through the chatter and everyone turned to look at them expectantly, though it was not really a surprise to some of the people that were watching them intently. He turned and smiled at the woman who had not left his side all evening, she flushed and dropped her gaze, feeling fluttery and nervous and shaky as her heart pounded. He reached for her hand and she lightly squeezed his fingers in quiet reassurance. They had agreed that he could do it. "I am delighted to tell you all that…that Lady Edith and I are engaged," he grinned as the air was filled with the sound of applause and they were both caught up in a crush of embraces and handshakes and best wishes.

"And are you happy?" Mary murmured quietly to her sister as she reached her side, her dark eyes twinkling, a genuine smile lighting up her features. She truly was glowing.

"Yes. Yes I am," Edith grinned. She was. She had never been happier in fact. She was about to reach for her hand when they were interrupted by Evelyn, who asked, most kindly, if he could steal his fiancée away for a moment.

Mary headed to the corner and silently took her wriggling and about to be wailing niece from her aunt – for some reason baby Erin did not like Rosamund – with a smile and a mouthed 'thank you' from Sybil across the room, and headed towards the tree. Erin was fascinated by the lights, and Mary was happy to indulge the little girl, not that anyone minded, especially now that they knew she was expecting; having decided to let Matthew tell the rest of the family after Christmas dinner a week previously.

"This time next year," a low voice came from behind her, and she turned with a smile, shifting so that the baby could still the tree. "I suppose I should get in some practice! May I?" He held out his arms to take the baby from her.

"Of course. Erin, you like Uncle Matthew don't you? Yes I thought so," she chuckled as the baby gave a gummy smile and pointed at Matthew, before reaching for him. He took the little girl with ease and rocked her gently, smiling broadly as her eyes looked into his. Not for the first time, Mary's heart contracted as she thought of Matthew as a papa, and tears pricked in the back of her eyes as she watched them, her hands drifting unconsciously to her stomach, stroking gently. After a few minutes, they were joined by Sybil and Tom, who were quite happy to leave their daughter with her uncle. Sybil moved to Mary's side and reached for her hand, smiling as their husbands cooed over the baby and played peekaboo with her. The newly engaged couple also made their way over to the small group. Edith stood on Mary's other side, smiling warmly as their hands joined, still watching as Erin lost interest in Matthew and her father, and reached for Evelyn, who looked at Edith for gentle encouragement as he tentatively took her into his arms.

Across the room, the small group was being watched by three parents and a grandmother.

"Just look at how happy they all are," Isobel spoke with a fond smile.

"I don't think we could ask for any more than that could we?" Cora replied, reaching for her husband's hand.

"No I don't think we could. And you thought it would be a bad year Mama."

"Robert I said no such thing, really," she arched an eyebrow in mock annoyance at her son.

"It could have been worse than having one daughter married, one engaged, a grandchild, another on the way, and Bates freed. Are you sure you don't mind having him as your butler Mama?"

"No, no. As long as he doesn't feel a sudden urge to retire, I'm sure we'll get along admirably, won't we Isobel?"

"Of course." They lulled into silence again, their gaze still fixed on the group in front of the tree.

"I really don't think that we could have asked for a better year, do you?" Robert murmured quietly. The three women nodded in agreement.

They turned back to the three Crawley sisters, who were still stood close together, watching with broad, fond smiles as two husbands and fiancé took it in turns to hold the perfectly content babbling baby.

No, they really couldn't have asked for a better year. Not at all.

_Fin._

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><p><em>So. There it is. What was meant to be just a bit of post-Christmas Special fluff became what it is, and I never expected <strong>at all<strong> that it would become so popular, that so many people would read/review/alert/favourite it, that people would ask me when it was going to be updated, even just comments to say that it is being enjoyed…I honestly can't express how touched I am by the response that I have received for it. (Oh and now I'm welling up again!) So thank you, to each and every one of you, for all of your continued support (especially when I know that it has taken me a while to update at times)! I just want to hug you all! Thank you, I really don't think I can say it enough! _

_A special thank you goes to __thatramblingmind__ for her incredible support throughout the later chapters of this. I don't think I could have carried this on without her help and her being so lovely about all my ranting when I just had no idea what I was doing with it! And thank you to Etta James for her beautiful song._


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